choublak

Anyone care to interpret?

My father:

"I love you, so please don't be angry with what I have to tell you. Tomorrow mom and I are going into mediation to split up money and assets and everything. I'm going to lose most of the money and my business is failing awfully right now. I will be totally broke within a few months from now. Probably be sleeping in my car. You can't get a job anywhere at my age. Anyway, I have two more checks to send you then I can't send anymore. Also, I will no longer be able to pay your health insurance. You will need to talk to mom, she still has a job and will have lots of money in the bank. I'm really sorry and I know you will probably hate me. But I have no choice. I do love you very much and always will."

Me: Okay, well here is my new address (and I give him the new address)

Him: Thanks for understanding. I'll make it up someday. Have you already moved.

Me: We move in on Saturday

Him: Are you excited?

Me: I want the move to be finished.

Him: Moving is exhausting. But once it's done, it will be fine.

choublak

So yeah, wtf is that? And you know the even more twisted part? My father isn't even an alcoholic! And yet he shares more behaviors with a lot of alcoholics than my RABF does! I don't know what's wrong with my father, but I suppose it doesn't matter anyway.

LexieCat

I don't know your dad, so I couldn't say. I do know you don't have to be an alcoholic to be self-centered and full of self-pity. There are plenty of unattractive personality traits that aren't exclusive to alcoholics.

I guess what you do is to plan for the worst, and hope for the best. It sounds like he is prone to catastrophizing.

lillamy

Choublak, every time you post about your father, it's like I see my AXH behind the words. Like Lexie says, whether he's an alcoholic or not, he's certainly prone to putting himself at the center of things and trying to manipulate you the way an alcoholic does.

choublak

And like, he hasn't even texted me tonight to let me know more details of what's going on. Not that I even want to know. But I need to know about the insurance, like is there a date it stops being effective or what? I have prescriptions to fill either tonight or tomorrow, preferably tonight, and I don't know what to do.

LexieCat

Fill your prescriptions. Are you covered under his insurance? Or does he pay for a separate policy for you?

Any time someone's health insurance goes unpaid, or is cancelled for some other reason, I believe the insurance company is required to send the covered member a notice. I would keep using the insurance until you are notified otherwise.

There's also usually an 800 number on the insurance card you can call to verify your coverage.

LexieCat

Oh, and incidentally. If your insurance plan has a mail-order option--mine has a deal where you can order something like 90 days worth of the medication--you might want to do that, just so you have your maximum supply in the event anything happens to your coverage.

choublak

He pays a separate policy for me

LexieCat

OK, here's what I'd do. Call the member services number on the card, and tell them your dad pays for the insurance, and you want to be absolutely sure you are PERSONALLY notified in the event of any cancellation or lapse in coverage. That way nothing will change without your knowledge, and you can try to make arrangements to continue or replace the policy.