JBird100

When I was young around 5-7 age range is my first memories of being physically beaten and I remember being emotionally and mentally abused. I had a tormented childhood. I do not ever remember my mother being happy or smiling. I don't remember ever being happy or feeling a sense of relief or peace, not even once. When my mother died, I didn't cry. In fact I don't miss her at all. This makes me feel guilty. I need to forgive her and it's very difficult. I could go into a litany of bizarre stories but I am mostly looking for how you forgave your tormentors.

SparkleKitty

May I ask where the "need" to forgive her comes from? I am not judging it, just wondering.

MsPINKAcres

For me, before I could get to a stage of forgiveness -

I had to go thru the grief and healing process -

it wasn't quick
it wasn't easy
and
it wasn't cut and dried

For me it took some help from a program of recovery, working with a sponsor and the love of my HP to help me thru it ~

just what is working for me - it is still a process - I may never be completely done with it - as life goes on different things come up that must be processed ~

maybe you could try some counseling?

for me, it wasn't possible to just forgive and get over it ~ even tho mentally I knew that had to happen for me to have peace - It took a while for my "head knowledge" to make it to my "heart knowledge" and there was lots of healing that had to be done first

wishing you peace and healing

pink hugs

LexieCat

You don't have to cry and be sad about her passing to forgive her. Forgiveness is, in large part, letting go of resentments we still feel toward people who have wronged us. Forgiveness doesn't make the wrongs right, nor does it mean we weren't truly hurt. For me, forgiveness means I recognize that other people behaved in a sick way. Even if they weren't diagnosed with any mental illness, they may have been spiritually sick. I have behaved in appalling ways at times due to my own spiritual sickness. Some people never recognize it in themselves and are never able to free themselves from it. Thinking in this way about people who have hurt me helps me to let go of the pain. I stop blaming myself, blaming them, wondering "why" someone would do such a thing. That's between them and their Higher Power. I can wish them peace and healing, and the same for myself.

I agree--it's a process. Sometimes an ongoing one.

JBird100

The need to forgive my mother is not for her, obviously, it's for me. I need to let go of this resentment. Resentments only hurt me. Thx guys. Everything takes time and right now all I can do is pray for willingness.

aasharon90

Mommy Dearest is what comes to mind
when I think of my own mother. She, a
beautiful, attractive women in public, never
showing the Dr. Jeckle/Mr. Hyde Personality
I saw so much in my childhood and life,
caused so much emotional, physical, verbal
abuse with much resentments attached which
I drank over for a number of yrs.

Today, Im sober 22 yrs. and as part of my
recovery, in order to live a happier, freer life
sober, I had to let go of those resentments. Tho
not easy, I eventually, emotionally divorced
myself from her in every way and placed her
in the hands of my Higher Power for His keeping.

Forgive them for they know not what they do is
a lesson learned in my own childhood religion and
thus have to do the same for her. She was sick
with her own demons, alcohol and perscription
meds mixed, becoming a volcano never knowing
when it would errupt, causing chaos and catastophy
in its way.

Today, sadly, because there is no contact with
my family, i dont know how they are. All I can do
and choose to do, is rely on my HP for care and
guidance and if and when the time comes to be
in their presents, I will pray to be strong, sober
and content in whatever the outcome maybe.

My recovery is extremely important to me as so
is my emotional well being. Continueing to be a
part of a dysfunctional family was and is not healthy
for me and my sobriety. Today I take care of what
I need to do to stay sober each day and leave the
rest to my Higher Power.

JBird100

Thank you Ms. Sharon. Wow, that helps. I will give it to my HP, which I will have to do on a daily basis. Enough is enough, I'm tired of being angry. I have to move on. Thanks again.

friskme

It is an on-going thing. She isn't "here"; so her spirit isn't able to confirm.

Earlier I tried to send you a message, but the server was having probs.

My mother died when I was six. She was a horrible mom as I remember. She was a recovering Alcoholic with migraine headaches. Back then there was no prognosis. She was mean and she duped my step-dad into her sick ways.
Sometime before now, I communicated with her via spirit.
I am Native American; and I don't believe people 'die' in the sense of death. So I communicated with her and let her know how I feel and felt way back when

friskme

your spirit is strong and can overcome many memories and obstacles. Ask your mom to help you in your life and be open to her love. Her physical body may be gone but her spirit is here. Pay attention.