The bottom line.

Old 03-17-2013, 09:24 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: CA
Posts: 54
The bottom line.

The bottom line is I have to be comfortable. I will keep saying it, and acting on it, one million times if I have to!

I reconnected after a very short time with my xab. Seeing him and hanging out with him was good. I love when he's doing well. But it never lasts long and I knew he would show up drunk this evening.

In order to deal with what I knew would be coming I took myself to an al-anon meeting. I needed authentic courage to deal with him. Even before I went to the meeting I started chanting, out loud, "I didn't cause it, I can't cure it, and I can't control it!" Soooo POWERFUL!

He had me meet him at a restaurant up the street from my apt. He sounded okay on the phone but that doesn't mean anything. I arrived and quickly realized how drunk he was. I gave him a few minutes to see if he was going to be obnoxious and it started coming out. He was also forgetting things that had happened just five minutes earlier.

I asked for the check and got the hell outta there. I asked for his keys and we went to my apt. I told him as soon as we got there that we were going to hang out so he could sober up but then he would have to leave. I knew he wanted to be intimate but I was not going to let that happen.

He pulled a beer out of his bag and I asked him not to drink because I wanted him to be able to get himself home. Thankfully, he listened.

I sent him on his way about a half hour ago. I'm happy to have not felt any pressure to keep him here. I deserve to have peace in my home and in my heart.

I don't know when I will be able to completely cut communication with him, but this feels like a step in the right direction. Making sure I was taking care of myself was more important than his drinking.

Of course my mind wanders to whether he went to another woman's place or a bar, but that is his decision to make.

I'm, again, grateful for seeking help, for going to meeting, and for making the right choices for myself.

Good night,

Goodstitch
goodstitch is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 10:10 PM.