kodfishy

My AH has been sober for four months, and I was so hopeful that sobriety would restore him to the person he was before his addiction. But as the months are passing, he still acts like a drinking alcoholic. He used to be Mr. Calm Good Communicator man. Now he picks fights with me and says stupid things and blames me for his problems. Sometimes he really sounds like he's been drinking, but I don't think he has. We're separated, and I hoped that would give us space to work on our healing by ourselves, but I have decreasing confidence that I'd ever want to get back together with him.

Is his wiring permanently re-set, or will he get better at sobriety with time?

Gabe

It would be nice if removing the alcohol was the "magic" cure, but it's only part of the process.
The first few months of sobriety can be just as difficult as the drinking days for the alcoholic and for those who love him/her.
I don't think his wiring is peramanently re-set. Recovery is an ongoing process.
Peace,
Gabe

Crazy Mary

I agree. It takes them along time to get thru this process. It is on-going. I only hope that he takes this time to work on himself, including meetings and maybe some counseling to come to terms with his disease. In the meantime you seem to be working on you and that is really important. Just take it one day at a time and take care of you...

myles1

It takes a long time for the fog to clear and even longer for the dysfunction to be dealt with.

Ngaire

smf30

My AH went thru so many different stages after his recovery. Fresh out of rehab he was like a new man - wonderful, healthy, serene. Then unfortunately the trials and tribulations of everyday life set in and they realize that recovery isn't as easy as they thought it would be.

sunflowergal29

Yeah- it takes time. He no longer has the crutch of alcohol, alcoholism is a living problem more than anything. One day at a time, it will get better if you're both focusing on yourselves.