Manmust

Started reading and feel its helped out more than anything.
The AGF drank her butt off Saturday night while watching my friends band. I did not care, comment or control.

All of a sudden today she is paranoid I really don't care what she does(oh really). She's angry, sad, frustrated and can't find a fault of mine.

LexieCat

I know that MIK3 is into Buddhist recovery--you might shoot him a PM. He hasn't been around the last week or so, but he's generally not away for long.

I like it as part of my recovery, too. It's very calming, and logical, IMO. You might try taking a look at Kevin Griffin's book, "One Breath at a Time." It's focused a little more on recovery from addiction, but the principles are the same.

choublak

I use parts of Santeria and Voudou.

Seren

Hello Manmust,

There are several Buddhist spirituality threads running in this sub-forum at the moment! Hopefully, some of these topics will help.

Spirituality - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Audrey1

Hi Manmust. I have read a few of your threads and my heart goes out to you.

I have used Buddhism for many reasons, and it has helped me immensely. If you are able to take time off to do a Vipassana retreat, and you feel ready for one, it can be an amazing way to change your perspective on life. It's quite gruelling, both physically, mentally, and emotionally, but well worth it. It involves sitting and meditating among other members of the retreat all day for ten days straight. Your diet is restricted and there is no talking or eye contact throughout. You are encouraged to perfect your meditation posture by remaining still for hours on end.

Sounds painful, right! It is. But it teaches you about endurance and dealing with pain. All the inner pain you have rises to the surface and manifests itself as physical pain. It teaches you that if you can continue to meditate despite the physical pain, something which is very difficult, that this pain dissolves, then your inner pain can also dissolve. If you can master endurance through the pain, you can master how you react to all of life's difficulties. I'm probably not explaining it well, so I would recommend you read up on this in more depth, but it's a very powerful experience.

FireSprite

Audrey - those retreats sound really intense, have you done one? I've looked up some information about them since reading your post & I'm equally intrigued & terrified, lol.

Audrey1

Hi FireSprite.

I have done one. It was intense and most people left after the first couple of days. It really makes you look hard at yourself and closely at your faults, so it's not for the faint-hearted. There's no escaping things when you're in silence for days on end without any of the normal distractions.

The thing about going into it is making sure you are ready. It's not about relaxation (so perhaps "retreat" is a confusing term), but about learning to arrive at peace. This is really hard work. Or at least it was for me.

I hope to do another one before long. The effects last a while, but not forever unless you can master the art of meditation and keep it up every day. I'm pretty awful at meditation, so I think regular retreats is a must for me.

LifeRecovery

Manmust-

Not strictly Buddist per say, but I have taken and gotten a lot out of a meditation course. It gave me space for things to come up. Some meditation work is spiritual in nature, some can have religious overtones and other pieces...it is about what works for you.

Tamerua

I am reading a book about Buddhism and the 12 steps. Good stuff there.

celticgenes

Hi, I've dabbled in Buddhist reading and meditation, and found that it helps immensely. A really good, accessible book is "When Things Fall Apart" by Pema Chodron. It can get a little deep on the Buddhist teachings, but like Alanon, I took what I liked, and left the rest.

I started with 1-5 minutes of meditation, twice a day. I figured my sanity was worth 10 minutes a day. There's a website called "fragrant heart" (weird name) that has free guided meditations from 1-20 minutes. It's pretty cool.

Good luck!

m1k3

Hi Manmust,

I am what I refer to as a half-assed Buddhist. I practice a mix of secular Buddhism, Pure Land and a little Zen. I have found it to be a huge help for me especially when mixed with Al-Anon.

Secular Buddhism is focused on returning to the Buddha’s original teachings without all the other stuff that has been added over the years.

Pure Land is more a mantra based practice where you repeat ‘Namu Amida Buddha’ in your head or out loud. I use this as a mindfulness tool. Whenever I find myself climbing into the hamster wheel in my head I start repeating the mantra in my head. I have found that this works really well for keeping me from focusing on my unhealthy thoughts and it helps me pay attention to my thoughts as they pop up. I have been doing this long enough that sometimes I’ll realize that I doing the mantra before the thought has even had a chance to get started. I also do the mantra even when my thoughts are saner just as a way to keep myself centered. The Pure Land practice that is closest to what I practice is Shin Buddhism.

I also do some simple Zen meditation twice a day for around 10 to 15 minutes. I simply sit and focus on my breath. It is another form of mindfulness and helps me stay centered. I’m not looking for deep insights or anything like that. I find this practice to be very helpful as well.

To me my Buddhist practice fits very nicely with my Al-Anon program. For me both of them focus on being mindful, living in the moment, giving up the illusion of control, detachment and letting go of your expectations.

Your friend,

Manmust

Yessssss, just in the few days of reading and yesterday listening to a Alan Watts seminar, I feel completely different. Separated, detached from the alcoholic. Although last night did go into a minute rant on how her 13 year old son hasn't done any chores in the past 10 days and the house is embarrassing and she is letting him walk all over her.
But, that situation is not about h drinking(although I'm sure tied)

I'm totally intrigued by Buddhism. I was raised catholic, but never believed, came out as an atheist 6 years ago....but it never settled right. I know Buddhism isn't necessarily a religion, but it fits so right!

I'm just gonna keep on downloading audio books for my job that involves tons of driving, and read at night.

I have been at peace for quite a number of days now....the first in quite some time.
Much love to my sr folks.

CentralOhioDad

Glad you are finding peace - a great many steps forward from where you were not so long ago. I applaud you for that.

May you continue to move forward toward a happy and settled life.

Blessings,
C-OH Dad

soberlicious

Yes, I do. It was the single most important thing in ending my alcohol addiction, and of course, beyond that it has changed the way I look at and live my life. I am not particularly scholarly about my practice, but I do read a lot. I especially love Thich Nhat Hanh. I "take it to my breath" in brief respites throughout the day. Honestly, sounds weird, but I have combined my new found love of running with meditation...there is nothing but the sound of my breath and my feet pounding the pavement. It's hard to describe how centered it makes me feel. I've heard of walking meditation, but never running meditation LOL.

Thanks for posting. I love hearing about others practice. What I love about Buddhism is that there is no one right way.

ps...scratch what I said above...I just googled running meditation..apparently very popular!! Who knew?