My boyfriend is an alcoholic.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Pierre, south dakota
Posts: 8
My boyfriend is an alcoholic.
we have a 5 month old together and live separate. He admits he needs help, I give him his space. But I take care of our son by myself, which I can handle. I just don't understand why he is so self absorbed, is this an affect alcohol has on him? Or is it who he is. He just bought a 300 dollar tv, when he knows our son needs a new car seat. He only ever wants to talk about himself, he never cares about what I want to do or what I think, of anything. I don't expect him to change, I just don't understand why he's like this..
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,372
HI ROMPaige
I moved your thread here - I know you'll find a lot of support and experience here.
I dunno - I think a lot of alcoholics can be self absorbed and immature - I know I was...whether the immaturity came first or the drink, I'm not sure, but I know I grew up a lot when I got sober.
I hope sobriety is in your bf's future too.
D
I moved your thread here - I know you'll find a lot of support and experience here.
I dunno - I think a lot of alcoholics can be self absorbed and immature - I know I was...whether the immaturity came first or the drink, I'm not sure, but I know I grew up a lot when I got sober.
I hope sobriety is in your bf's future too.
D
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Welcome, ROMPaige. And thanks Dee for moving the thread. Paige, you'll find lots of support here.
It's an interesting dichotomy: alcoholism and immaturity/self-centeredness. And like Dee says, its hard to know for certain which comes first. What I do know from all my reading is that an alcoholic stops growing emotionally at a certain point. They don't learn the life lessons and coping skills that we "normies" do because they aren't experiencing life like we are.
Either way, it sounds as if you are being put in a position of going without. How can you take steps to fix that? And of course, do consider Al-Anon. I know its hard with a kiddo around, but many meetings do have child care available or kids are in the room. I imagine you really could use some support in real life.
Keep reading, keep posting, and keep coming back!
It's an interesting dichotomy: alcoholism and immaturity/self-centeredness. And like Dee says, its hard to know for certain which comes first. What I do know from all my reading is that an alcoholic stops growing emotionally at a certain point. They don't learn the life lessons and coping skills that we "normies" do because they aren't experiencing life like we are.
Either way, it sounds as if you are being put in a position of going without. How can you take steps to fix that? And of course, do consider Al-Anon. I know its hard with a kiddo around, but many meetings do have child care available or kids are in the room. I imagine you really could use some support in real life.
Keep reading, keep posting, and keep coming back!
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Hi, and welcome!
Alcoholics in general are EXTREMELY self-absorbed. If he ever gets sober, he might change in that respect, or he might not. It depends on how hard he is willing to work on his own recovery.
Does he make regular child-support payments? If not, why not?
Alcoholics in general are EXTREMELY self-absorbed. If he ever gets sober, he might change in that respect, or he might not. It depends on how hard he is willing to work on his own recovery.
Does he make regular child-support payments? If not, why not?
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