Lost and confused
 

Was not sure if this is the right place to post but here it goes. So after joining months ago and my first post I quit drinking for two weeks. Then started drinking again. Then got a dui. It really made me realize how bad my problem was. Somewhat of a breaking point I guess you could say. I now havnt had a drink in 8 weeks today exactly. It feels good.

However I am having some issues. Detoxing is not fun what so ever and I seem to have a short temper now which I don't know if it is related or not. My main issue is my social situations. Most of my friends seem to respect the fact that I am no longer drinking however the situation with my girlfriend is not as nice.

She drinks just as much as I used to if not more. To the point of passing out on a regular basis and doing things while drinking she wouldn't normally do. We do live together and its really difficult when she invites friends over and she is acting the way she does while drinking. I feel embarrassed, disrespected, and really like she just doesn't care. I have told her many times I have a problem and how her behavior makes me feel. To be honest I have thought about just ending it to better myself even though I love her but I just do not know what to do. I feel like I am being selfish but at the same time don't really care.

On a side note I am the type of person who thought talking to random people online was going to be a waste of time. I must say reading every ones thoughts, its nice to see others going through the same thing.

Hello fairlane, Welcome to the Friends and Family side of SR!

Huge congratulations on your decision to stop drinking!!!! Eight weeks is a huge accomplishment!

I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend. None of us here has a right to tell you what to do, we can just tell you what worked for us. In order to protect your new sobriety, you may need to take a break. Your health, your peace, and your sobriety are worthy of being a priority for you. That's not being selfish.

All of us who have a loved one who struggles with addiction care about them very much. Sadly, that love is not something that will get them to stop drinking. No amount of our talking, nagging, begging, pleading, tears, or threats ever made someone we love get sober. As you have already experienced in your own life, it's an inside job.

Please take good care of you!

Hi fairlane, kudos on 8 weeks of sobriety!

As for advice...all I can offer you is something that was recently told to me: self-care is not being selfish. Just a couple small words, but so much wisdom in them. Take care of yourself, first and foremost.
:hug:

Kudos to you on 8 weeks of sobriety! I"m sorry about what's happening with your girlfriend. You have to put your sobriety, your health, first and foremost. When my RABF went through treatment, they talked about the difficulty of dealing with life's stuff and not having the alcohol to cover our emotions. That may be part of the reason you're feeling short tempered right now. It may be the first time in awhile that you're actually confronting real emotion without booze. Just a thought. Be gentle with yourself early on, if you continue to work on recovery you'll work on that too.

Your Gf may be a threat to your sobriety right now. Sounds like she has her own issues to deal with, and as you know, only she can decide for herself. You may love her, but right now you have to love yourself more. It is not selfish to take care of you. No one else is going to do it if you don't. It may be a good idea to separate until you get further along in recovery. LIkely that will **** her off, but again, this is about YOU and YOUR recovery. Do you have a sponsor? That person could be a good outlet for you as well.

Again, kudos on 8 weeks. I wish you success in your sober journey. :)

Welcome back, and ditto what the rest say here already. I especially love self-care is not selfish. No one else is going to take care of us...it starts and ends with us alone.

Keep coming back!
~T

I think in your shoes I would ask myself how to remove myself from the situations in which my temper was triggered until I learned better how to react in different ways.
Your gf and you probably trigger each other, or surely drank together, which makes me ask you--is her drinking a threat to your sobriety?
I would do what I could to protect my own sobriety, much in the way you have to save yourself from drowning before you can save another...which would include leaving the relationship, but that's me, you do what is best for you.
Your relationship with your gf is probably unhealthy unless both of you have found extended sobriety.
Sometimes a long break in a relationship is the best thing for it.