BlueSkiesAgain

I looked in the directory for Al-Anon and the nearest one located to me was about 45 minutes away. My son told me they had started one at one of the churches where he goes to an AA meeting. Not sure why it wasn't on the list but there are people who have years in Al-Anon and it has been extremely helpful. It is so popular (big room but we have actually run out of chairs) they are adding another night.

Anyway, just stopping in to say it is the BEST thing I have done for myself in a long time. The strength and support is unbelievable. About half of us have children that are alcoholics - some in recovery and some not. Can't even begin to say how much of a voice I seem to have gotten through all of it. My 21yo son is in recovery but just because he isn't drinking doesn't mean everything is perfect. I'm learning to work on me and my behavior and he sees the changes.

I read in the One Day At A Time In Al-Anon book the March 14 devotional. I don't think I can copy it here but it boils down to accepting that my son is in recovery and not living in fear of him going back to drink. I can't help it if he does but I need to show him that I do have faith in him that he is working on his sobriety. I was acting like a mad woman calling at 11 at night to take donuts to him just so I could smell if he had been drinking. For months I couldn't sleep. Now if I'm tired at 9:30 I got to bed and sleep like a baby. No late night texts to make sure he is at home, etc.

As I'm typing this I am reminded of the times I posted on here and my posts were all about him and I was "lovingly scolded" and asked what I'm doing for myself. As my younger son often says mom is doing mom now. I'm taking care of me first so I can do the things I need to do for my family. And I've lost 13 pounds because I no longer sit around and stress eat. I'm exercising, eat good healthy foods, and living again.

Thank you all.

bless5

Doing the happy dance for you!!! The book Courage to Change was life changing for me .... and therefore my family. After spending years focusing on my family, it's almost as if I needed "permission" to focus on ME again! Wishing you continued peace.

Pelican

Thank you for sharing your positive update! I am happy for you. Your recovery looks good on you!

Also want to give you the green light on sharing a reading from a Hazelden publication ( they print the approved materials for 12 step programs). This site is Hazelden friendly.

BlueSkiesAgain

Thank you both. One day a few weeks ago my son tried to guilt me - can't even remember what he wanted - I heard my husband tell him don't try that on your Mom she is a different person since she started Al-Anon. He is so right. Now, when my son wants me to do something that he is capable of doing I tell him - "I love you enough to allow you to be an adult". And I don't respond further.