LadySage

I've been seperated from STBXAH for about three weeks. I walked because he relapsed and was not working an active recovery program. He of course said I was being stupid, our relationship was a joke and he was looking forward to a bright future.

Today I got a call from the landlord telling me our dog had been in the STBXAH's car all day and they then called the police to pick the dog up.

After a talk with the police I learned the STBXAH was in jail on counts of his 3rd DUI, DWS, criminal mischief x2, hit and run and disorderly conduct.

I should feel sad but I really feel like this is a huge dose of closure. All the quacking about "recovery" without meetings seems to have amounted to just more relapsing and downright ****** drinking.

I'm hopeful in my life I can learn to judge men by their actions and not their words.

Huge lesson.

Really glad I stood up to my boundaries and let this one go!

iamthird

You are very strong. I am separated for 9 months because my husband walked out and relapsed and I still am in sad mode. I want you to know your strength inspires me!

LadySage

I'll tell ya...I don't feel strong. I feel shook to the core that the fact is that I've allowed such men into my life. However, I do feel hopeful because I've really learned that I need recovery just as much as they do. I've been to a few ACOA meentings and a little al-anon and they have made a huge difference. I really hope that the one thing I have learned is that recovery is vital and necessary on BOTH sides.

iamthird

I feel weak too and people tell me I am strong. I just want you to know I am proud of you. You sound so healthy and aware and know what needs to be done. Just know that you are helping me with your strength!

Yes you allowed him in but you are doing all the right things now! I continue to engage with separated AH so I know my pain is self inflicted. You could be like me, 9 months in! So be proud of yourself. You give me something to aspire to.

LadySage

You can do it!

I've been very blessed lately with the feeling that "yes, healing is possible" and "yes, you can heal".

This feeling has really come from my group meetings once per week and I hope that you find the same hope and peace!

Stay tough!

Recovering2

Life is a journey, and there are lessons all along the way. You have learned this lesson, so now you take the wisdom with you moving forward. I agree with you, the biggest thing I've learned from my journey is that I have to recover as well..not just the A in my life. I'm glad you're safe, and I hope the dog is safe too.