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-   -   Leave Her At Home? (https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/friends-family-alcoholics/287316-leave-her-home.html)

Hayfmr 03-12-2013 09:29 PM

Leave Her At Home?
 
My Bipolar AW has gone off her medication and on another binge. Whats really stupid is that we are supposed to fly to Houston tomorrow to see our daughter and go to the George Strait concert. She loves his music and made the plans. I don't expect her to be sobered up tomorrow so it's decision time for me. Either stay home or leave her at home and go by myself. Right now I am leaning toward going primarily so that she can suffer the consequences of her actions. Who knows I just might even have some fun. What would you do?

marie1960 03-12-2013 09:46 PM

I love George Strait.

There are so many songs that I have listened to in my life, and I always try to imagine George singing them. The clarity of that man's voice, he could sing anything.

Go to the concert, have a good time. You are not the one who went off your medicine and went on a binge. You should not have to pay the price....

Now about that extra ticket???? LOL

Brett11 03-12-2013 09:54 PM

I'm new so don't trust me on this one but maybe her going off her meds and bailing on her concert is a cry for help, maybe she feels like she can't face your daughter

hope this helps, just trying to give another perspective

CeciliaV 03-12-2013 10:28 PM

I left my fresh-out-of-rehab husband alone this past weekend to go off on my own, and I'm glad I did. I'm not glad about what I came home to, but I needed the time away and I need to have some fun. I say go. Have a good time. You need and deserve it.

Hopeworks 03-13-2013 03:21 AM

Life is a series of choices and your wife made hers. I would go and enjoy myself and turn her over to her HP to work out her situation.

Go make a memory with your daughter and more will be revealed.

HopefulmomtoD 03-13-2013 03:56 AM

I would definitely go and don't ruin your trip worrying about her.

Sasha4 03-13-2013 04:04 AM

Please go.
Your daughter would miss out too if you did not go.
Maybe this might be a rock bottom for her? xx

redatlanta 03-13-2013 04:24 AM

Go and no way would I take her. My RAH is BP as well and off meds a nightmare. Daughter and you shouldn't be subjected to THAT - uggghh the WORST.

dollydo 03-13-2013 05:04 AM

Go and enjoy your time with your daughter, why should she suffer because of your wifes bad choices?

LexieCat 03-13-2013 05:15 AM

I say go, too. Without her. Not to punish her or to teach her anything, but because they are your plans, your daughter is looking forward to it, you are looking forward to it, and taking your wife would ruin what could be a very nice time.

ShootingStar1 03-13-2013 07:11 AM

Anybody who has "to be taken" to a plane flight, visit with her daughter and concert, doesn't really deserve to get there. Your wife needs to do it under her own steam, and if she can't, then she is getting the consequences of her actions.

It would be different with a child or a truly disabled person, but here it is the result of her choices. No reason to be angry with her or conflicted about this at all. If she can't get there, she can't get there. Bring her a CD from the concert!

ShootingStar1

Tuffgirl 03-13-2013 08:55 AM

I really hope you are on your way today. Seeing your daughter and George Strait = pure awesome!

Have a fantastic time and let us know how it goes.
~T

CentralOhioDad 03-13-2013 09:09 AM

Ditto with the others - go have a good time and let her sort it out when/if she becomes lucid again..

Have fun, and let us know how it was!!

C-OH Dad

Hayfmr 03-13-2013 09:24 AM

My flight is not till this afternoon and I will be on it, by myself:) Going to be a lot more by myself in the future too. 19 months ago I was in the process of filing for the big D when she was diagnoised as bipolar. She begged me for a second chance. The meds worked for 15 months when she quit taking them and started self medicating again. I drew my line in the sand and told her last time that I was never living with a drunk again. Meant it too. As soon as my busy season with my business lets up I will start working on my escape plan. It's going to be very expensive but will likely be worth it.

Anyone near Hosston that wants to go see George? I have an extra ticket. Good seats too.

CeciliaV 03-13-2013 09:25 AM

Hope you have a safe flight and a great time! So proud of you for deciding to go!

Cyranoak 03-13-2013 10:22 AM

Dude.
 
Go by yourself. Live your life. She sure as hell is living hers. The day after one of my wife's worst relapses I left for a weekend trip with my buddies I had planned for awhile. She is done ******* up my life because I won't let her anymore-- I was the one letting her do it! She can **** hers up all she wants, but I took mine back, at least at a certain level, a few years ago. I wish I could have the rest back.

I have a trip in August that I will do, again, regardless of her relapse situation.

Take your life back.
Take your life back.
Take your life back.


Take care,

Cyranoak


Originally Posted by Hayfmr (Post 3859588)
My Bipolar AW has gone off her medication and on another binge. Whats really stupid is that we are supposed to fly to Houston tomorrow to see our daughter and go to the George Strait concert. She loves his music and made the plans. I don't expect her to be sobered up tomorrow so it's decision time for me. Either stay home or leave her at home and go by myself. Right now I am leaning toward going primarily so that she can suffer the consequences of her actions. Who knows I just might even have some fun. What would you do?


Hayfmr 03-13-2013 10:51 AM

I have pretty much given up snowmobiling the last few years because of her. Two trips this year and came home to a drunk both times. Things are changing. She can call me selfish if she wants. I don't care.
Wish she would get mad and move out.

choublak 03-13-2013 11:30 AM


Originally Posted by Brett11 (Post 3859620)
I'm new so don't trust me on this one but maybe her going off her meds and bailing on her concert is a cry for help, maybe she feels like she can't face your daughter

So you suck it up and roll with it. If you're on medication, take it correctly. Learn to deal with life.

MsPINKAcres 03-13-2013 02:13 PM

wahoo - "The Cowboy rides away" Tour!!
how fabulous ~

enjoy - I've seen George Strait twice - early in his career - he was fabulous!! and I'm sure he still is!

Hope you have a wonderful time -

I'm sure many times along this trip you will be overwhelmed with those twangs of guilt, regret and second thoughts - please take a deep breath and remember -
This is NOT your first choice - this is your HEALTHY choice ~

This is to allow your loved one the dignity, self-respect and ability to choose something better for herself ~ if she does great, if she doesn't then you know you have given her the opportunity and you have taken good care of you!

pink hugs for strength, courage, and wisdom!

Recovering2 03-13-2013 02:51 PM

Oh Maaaaan I wish I lived in Houston right now. Would grab that extra ticket in a heartbeat!!!

BTW - doing what brings you happiness and having healthy outlets is not selfish. :)


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