over whelmed
 

Hi guess
Im feeling so over whelmed with grief and stress right now.....that knot is in my stomach......again....time to take halt.
I found out my A's sister got married last Sat. and nobody even mentioned it to me....found out from a stranger.....I was talking to my A last wk end and he obviously went to the wedding but purposly withheld the information from me....why Im not sure....He didn't find the need to share the information with me.....Now Iam all paranoid....about his intentions.....he's never been open and honest so it really shouldn't surprise me that he isn't now....once again I was miss lead into believing he was really trying to turn over a new leaf. still deceiving.....
He's pretty much under house arrest at his parents house, his parents both ex- A's....DRy drunks....so his chance of a good recovery is disminished just by being stuck with them.
Iam so hurt by this.....nothing but lies and deceat......evasive.....and mean.
Once again the slap in the face comes and I realize.....this reconciliation isn't going to work.....because he's not being straight with me....

Re: over whelmed
 

hi sally,

the lack of trust is a killer isnt it. we fight and fight and still we dont get the truth about things, or we cant believe anything anymore, even if it is the truth.

when i am like that i a) say ok i am not going to let this control me
b) i am not the baddie here
c) i will believe in and trust what i see, that is all i can do.

some situations and people are not worth the pain we feel especially when they dont feel any hey

hugs to you
kath

(((Sally)))
The pain of broken trust is very hard to deal with.
You will get through this, one step at a time.
Sending some light your way,
Gabe

Re: over whelmed
 

Hi Sally,
I'm sorry you feel so awful - I know that knotted, tight feeling so well. You're not the bad guy here, you've done nothing wrong. You need to make some good decisions for your own serenity.
(((((sally)))))
good luck
Sandra

Re: over whelmed
 

Hi Sally,

This one was very hard for me to admit and then accept. Those who's words do not match their actions are untrustworthy. Thats the easy part. The hard part is that its not in my control whether they change their thoughts and behavior, its up to me to change my own thoughts and behavior for me.

That was a hard one, because while their words not matching their actions was hurting me, it was my own words not matching my own actions that were causing my pain.

Say what we mean, mean what we say, and don't say it mean...... takes only a decision and then put that decision into action for us.

When we can trust ourselves, our thoughts, and our own actions...... then we are able to move forward, whether they do or not.

Love
Patsy