Arrested
krhea75
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Posts: 644
Arrested
My 22 year old son has been arrested for under 30 grams of cannabis with intent to deliver or sell. He had a roommate who he says is responsible. We were in the process of getting him back into a program when this happened. He says he never sold anyone a drug, he is just an addict. He wants me to bail him out with his tax money and then get him a lawyer. He said a public defender won't do a good job. He thinks he will get probation. What should I do?
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
If he has the money to bail himself out, I guess he can do that.
I was a prosecutor for 22 years, and believe me, Public Defenders know cases like this inside and out. They know the prosecutors, the judges, the system, and nine times out of ten will get at LEAST as good a result as a private lawyer who will charge thousands of dollars.
I don't believe him about the roommate.
I was a prosecutor for 22 years, and believe me, Public Defenders know cases like this inside and out. They know the prosecutors, the judges, the system, and nine times out of ten will get at LEAST as good a result as a private lawyer who will charge thousands of dollars.
I don't believe him about the roommate.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: W Washington
Posts: 11,589
well i did the converter thingie and 30 grams is roughly an ounce. that's not a HUGE amount - we're not talking kilos here. easily could be for personal stash...however......something caused him to get arrested (i doubt he was walking down the street holding the baggie over his head) and he's not fessing up to it being his.................AND he's already demanding a GOOD lawyer. my spidey sense tells me his story ain't quite right......
krhea75
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Posts: 644
Actually he admits to using, but he says he never sold. Am I quacking? I believe that he is using, but I'm not sure he should be convicted of selling. We went in for a drug evaluation in the last couple of weeks, and he is on a waiting list for services. Of course, this sudden interest in sobriety was probably brought on by the arrest. He and his friend lived in apt. and someone probably smelled the pot and turned them in. This happened a month ago, but they just picked him up last night.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest USA
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krh, if he uses his money than bail him out & have him hire a good lawyer. Where I'm from the title of PD stands for Penitentery Deliverer. I do agree with the other posters & feel there might be a bit more to the story.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
If he want to use his money for bail, so be it. But the lawyer is his problem. He is legal age, if he can afford a "good" lawyer then he'll have to figure it out. If not, then he uses a public defender. He got himself into this mess, he can get himself out. As long as he's got parents to rush in with the net, he won't learn to save himself. He will never change his behavior if you take care of it for him.
I'm not being harsh, I watched this scenario play out for years with my AB. Always had a good rational story for why he got into a mess. Always needed help from my parents to get him out. To this day he is unable to take full responsibility for his poor choices. He doesn't have to, they'll step in and take care of things.
He's an addict, and was around pot whether it's his or his room mates. He is now facing the natural consequences of poor choices. Let him work through it, no matter how difficult that may be (he won't be happy). I wouldn't even pick him up from jaill, his roommate can do it since he's the problem apparently. Set boundaries now as to what is and isn't acceptable, you'll be glad down the road.
I'm not being harsh, I watched this scenario play out for years with my AB. Always had a good rational story for why he got into a mess. Always needed help from my parents to get him out. To this day he is unable to take full responsibility for his poor choices. He doesn't have to, they'll step in and take care of things.
He's an addict, and was around pot whether it's his or his room mates. He is now facing the natural consequences of poor choices. Let him work through it, no matter how difficult that may be (he won't be happy). I wouldn't even pick him up from jaill, his roommate can do it since he's the problem apparently. Set boundaries now as to what is and isn't acceptable, you'll be glad down the road.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Where I live he would get probation unless he was in a school zone, and even with that, he would probably get probation.
No, his being in jail would not have any effect on whether he is found guilty (though it might affect his readiness to plead guilty if probation is the recommended plea offer). You haven't seen the police reports, so you have no idea what the evidence is. Suppose he literally conducted a hand-to-hand transaction with an undercover cop?
Many places these days (I don't know if Illinois is one of them) have "drug courts" in which first offenders with drug problems have an opportunity for a diversionary sentence or some other kind of strict supervision in lieu of a custodial sentence. He will probably be mandated to comply with treatment.
So I don't think this is likely to destroy his life, unless, of course, he stays on the path he's been on. That's largely up to him.
I do think it's a mistake for parents to rush in to "fix" the jams that their kids get into with the law. He knows marijuana is illegal. He chose to mess with it (and most likely to sell it) anyway. What does he learn from this if mom and dad make everything OK?
No, his being in jail would not have any effect on whether he is found guilty (though it might affect his readiness to plead guilty if probation is the recommended plea offer). You haven't seen the police reports, so you have no idea what the evidence is. Suppose he literally conducted a hand-to-hand transaction with an undercover cop?
Many places these days (I don't know if Illinois is one of them) have "drug courts" in which first offenders with drug problems have an opportunity for a diversionary sentence or some other kind of strict supervision in lieu of a custodial sentence. He will probably be mandated to comply with treatment.
So I don't think this is likely to destroy his life, unless, of course, he stays on the path he's been on. That's largely up to him.
I do think it's a mistake for parents to rush in to "fix" the jams that their kids get into with the law. He knows marijuana is illegal. He chose to mess with it (and most likely to sell it) anyway. What does he learn from this if mom and dad make everything OK?
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 585
Originally Posted by krhea75 
Actually he admits to using, but he says he never sold. Am I quacking? I believe that he is using, but I'm not sure he should be convicted of selling. We went in for a drug evaluation in the last couple of weeks, and he is on a waiting list for services. Of course, this sudden interest in sobriety was probably brought on by the arrest. He and his friend lived in apt. and someone probably smelled the pot and turned them in. This happened a month ago, but they just picked him up last night.
And I hate to say it, but I think you may be quacking here. It's hard to believe someone who uses drugs or alcohol or any substance - the nature is that they're in a defensive position, trying to defend their usage and lie their way out of trouble. And you as his mom want to believe the best in him, which is entirely understandable. There are lots of details missing from the story - one baggie or many, how exactly did he get turned in, whether there was other paraphernalia in the house that would lead to a higher level of suspicion. Me thinks that if the roommate was selling, it's unfortunately likely that he may have been in on it - many pot smokers sell to support the habit. I never did (I smoked pot daily for many years to "self medicate" my OCD and anxiety), but I know my husband did back in the day.
Anywho, did some googling, and possession vs intent to sell of 30g or less has big effect on whether he gets charged with a misdemeanor or felony in IL (assuming he lives in the same state as you). First vs second/subsequent offenses have an effect as well. For a first offense, possession is up to 1 year in jail, intent to sell is a minimum 1 year sentence, up to 3 years, and a $25K fine. Either way, it will also have a big effect on his future. I know you want to help him, but I can't say whether it would be better for him to go with a PD or a private lawyer...although I have a sneaking suspicion that LC may be right - PDs may have a better knowledge of the system & the players.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
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The statutes give the mandatory sentences AFTER a trial. Usually a plea offer is far more lenient. Let his lawyer explain it to him. Another good reason to go with a PD is they know what the "going rate" is for various offenses and usually can get the best deal for their clients, assuming that the proofs are sufficient to prove he is guilty.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: northeast
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My son got arrested for a DUI and we did not help him. We figured he knew he wasn't supposed to drink and drive and he could deal with the consequences.
If it were more serious charges and I had the money, I might get involved.
(Although hearing Lexie talk about public defenders doing as well or better than private attorneys in instances like these, makes me feel much better. )
There were lots of kids in rehab with my DS that had criminal charges- I think it was part of the reason that they were going- to get a better deal.
If it were more serious charges and I had the money, I might get involved.
(Although hearing Lexie talk about public defenders doing as well or better than private attorneys in instances like these, makes me feel much better. )
There were lots of kids in rehab with my DS that had criminal charges- I think it was part of the reason that they were going- to get a better deal.
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Posts: 2,052
Nothing.
Do nothing. It will be the truest expression of love you've ever displayed for your ADULT son who is responsible for his own decisions, including the one to have under 30 grams of cannabis ready to sell. It was hard for me to learn that the best way to show my love to my addict was to NOT help them escape ALL the consequence of their decisions. Boy has my life improved since I accepted that as true and then acted on it by doing... nothing. Her life has improved too.
Did you know that in order to be charged with that for such a small amount of pot that it had to have been in individual packages? He didn't just have a bag of weed. He had BAGS of weed that somebody took the time to separate into equally sized packages. He is no innocent-- you don't "accidentally" have packaged weed in your possession. You choose to-- it's immaterial who is actually belonged to. I have a fair bit of knowledge about this I've gathered over many years.
Plus, has your experience taught you your son is a truth teller, or has it taught you that he is one of the most gifted liars and manipulators you've ever encountered in your entire life? Which is it? Act on that.
Good luck and I'm sorry for your pain.
Cyranoak
P.s. His roommate is not responsible for him-- EVER. Your son is responsible for your son-- wholly and completely. Your son is gas-lighting you. Please consider seeing the truth. It's right in front of you. Let him expereince his consequences-- it's his only chance at a good life.
Did you know that in order to be charged with that for such a small amount of pot that it had to have been in individual packages? He didn't just have a bag of weed. He had BAGS of weed that somebody took the time to separate into equally sized packages. He is no innocent-- you don't "accidentally" have packaged weed in your possession. You choose to-- it's immaterial who is actually belonged to. I have a fair bit of knowledge about this I've gathered over many years.
Plus, has your experience taught you your son is a truth teller, or has it taught you that he is one of the most gifted liars and manipulators you've ever encountered in your entire life? Which is it? Act on that.
Good luck and I'm sorry for your pain.
Cyranoak
P.s. His roommate is not responsible for him-- EVER. Your son is responsible for your son-- wholly and completely. Your son is gas-lighting you. Please consider seeing the truth. It's right in front of you. Let him expereince his consequences-- it's his only chance at a good life.
Originally Posted by krhea75
My 22 year old son has been arrested for under 30 grams of cannabis with intent to deliver or sell. He had a roommate who he says is responsible. We were in the process of getting him back into a program when this happened. He says he never sold anyone a drug, he is just an addict. He wants me to bail him out with his tax money and then get him a lawyer. He said a public defender won't do a good job. He thinks he will get probation. What should I do?
krhea75
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: macomb, il
Posts: 644
No, I don't think he is being honest. I will not bail him out. I made it to an al anon meeting last night and blubbered like a baby. Talked to one of the counselors from the place we had started to see before everything blew up. She was very helpful. She asked me, "Was it your apartment that had marijuana in it?" I said, "Well no, but I cosigned for the apartment." She said, "Is it YOUR apartment?" "No." Then don't step in to save him.
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Join Date: Feb 2013
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Good for you. I have a 21 yr old son addicted to pot. I have a suspicion that he has started to dabble in trafficking. I expect him to get arrested or get thrown out of where he is living. From this site, I have learnt not to rescue him and let him face the consequences of his bad decisions. I rescued him several times before, and it has had no effect on him. Fool me once, shame on .....
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