neighbor, alcoholic and I

Old 03-10-2013, 11:41 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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neighbor, alcoholic and I

I am so sick of our neighbors and ah.
Let me start by saying that whilst not drinking ah confided in neighbor he goes to aa has interlock and not drinking/detoxed but this guy doesnt get the hint!
Its not his fault its completely the fault of ah but it burns me up that knock knock
"You got beer?" Knock knock "you got a cigarette?" Knock knock "hey want a drink"
It just goes on and on. After ah detoxed as he stayed inside the whole time he finally wanted to go out. Come back from the store five minutes later knock knock"beer?"
Really dude?
If we come back from store (he sees the groceries) he knocks.
If we are outside having a smoke (heya neighbor im drunnnkkk!)
Just last week ah left for work and knock knock (I didnt answer)
So guess what yup ring ring mother f***** I answer unaware of number
And hes freaking out that my ah left because he was gunna bum a cig and a drink and asked when hed be back. Hes the worst enabler because hes not going anywhere lives next door and ah is too nice sober to say anything and drunk he joins in.
The guys not all bad if he works out ah will with him.
Thats great but its the bumming off that seems more times than a person should
And then personal space that drives me crazy.
Frankly I cannot take any of it. Last night ah went to the store (took him 4 hours)for a simple run and he finally came back plastered. Barged in barking a storm.
Shame because earlier that day he went to his regular aa meeting and sober. I thought he was getting it together.
4 hours and I thought he was dead ....not cool.
I was worried but I kind of sensed that he got drunk because come on 4 hours?
So stayed in getting ready for bed etc. He barges in and starts the blame game and name calling from the first second. Literally.
First it was (because I locked the door ) and he was too drunk to use his key so he had to wait to be let in which he in turn said I "locked him out".
Lots of bs talk and quaking and finally he goes to bed after making a scene.
I have a feeling as I didnt think to look before but that he was at the neighbors getting drunk as before ah left yup neighbor knock knocking "ive got beer!"

Ughhh! I dislike my neighbors.
But as I said the responsibility is ahs own
And because I can no longer tolerate his behavior or the neighbors.(to a certain degree yes!)
Ive set up a place for me and the kids to stay at until he gets his head on his shoulders and works his program.
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Old 03-10-2013, 11:50 PM
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Are you serious? Why don't you just tell him, " Hey, I understand you like to drink and stop by to say hi and all but I have children and your behavior is beginning to bother me. Can you please stop knocking on my door, Show me some respect." If he gets crazy call the police...
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Old 03-10-2013, 11:50 PM
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Its your neighbor for christ sake, not your husband. Not everyone loves there neighbors you know.
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Old 03-10-2013, 11:59 PM
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I agree. I do not say anything because I have tried to stay out of ahs recovery
He doesnt want to be mean to the guy . He doesnt come inside or anything and we dont actually talk.
Though I havev felt like snapping and probably should I have been waiting for ah to stand up for his sobreity and tell the guy to not come knocking drunk or asking to drinkvetc.
I but ah hasnt done it and instesd tries to avoid him.
I guess enirely its a question of should I say something to him or let ah make the choice to do so himself?
Yes its my home and yes it agrivates me but if I say something arent I stepping in on his recovery to do it himself?
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Old 03-11-2013, 12:01 AM
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And then theres if I dont say something and ah wont and its early recovery then is he bound to drink with
Neighbor doing so like he has been? Or is should ah be held 100 percent accountable for not doing so and drinking?
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Old 03-11-2013, 05:05 AM
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Sounds like the two of them have bonded.

You do have a say in who comes knocking at your door whenever, though not his talking to, enabling, or hanging out with your husband. It would not be out of line, IMO, for you to tell him that you would prefer not to have visitors after a certain hour, for example.

Sounds like your plan of getting away from it all, though, might be the most effective one.
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Old 03-11-2013, 06:01 AM
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"I agree. I do not say anything because I have tried to stay out of ahs recovery"

Your husband is not in recovery, he is still in the throws of addiction, he is drinking. Not letting your neighbor in, basically has nothing to do with whether your husband drinks or not, he is drinking because that's what alcoholics do. Drink.

If you do not want the neighbor to keep banging on the door, tell him so, if he persists, call the police. I assume that this is the same guy that you had issues with before and didn't call the police on, nothing has changed.

I hope that you do leave and stay away until your husband is actually in recovery and not drinking...for a long period of time. Your children deserve so much better, this enviornment is not healthy for them. If you can't do it for you, do it for the innocent victims...the children.
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