Lost my serenity last night
peaceful seabird
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: floating
Posts: 4,822
Oh my, this has me nodding my head. I can sooooo relate!
I did something similar about 2 years ago.
I was renting a condo.
Each condo came with two assigned parking spaces as listed in the contract.
Our building had two additional guest parking spaces.
Our building also had the pool next door (no pool parking spaces).
So keeping your space was sometimes an issue.
I worked long hours in retail standing all day. I didn't appreciate having to find a place to park and walk to my door after a long day. The managment had posted a sign at the gated entrance listing the name and number of the tow company contracted to remove cars that were in resident parking.
My neighbors and I had reached an understanding about our assigned parking spaces. We let each other know if we were having company and needed to borrow a space. We also ran off the college kids who gate crashed to come to the pool and parked in our places. (we asked them to move or be towed) But apparently the new lady upstairs from me, didn't think it applied to her guests.
Memorial day weekend, and I am exhausted. I come home and a strange car is in my space. My son's space is available and the guest spaces are available. I call my elderly neighbor and ask if she has any idea who it belongs to, but she did not see the driver. She agrees that we have never seen that car.
I call the tow truck. They arrived within 10 minutes. I have my space again and move my car back where it belongs.
Then I get a knock at the door. There's a man standing there that I have never seen before. Says he is the brother in law of my upstairs neighbor. He wants to know if I know what happened to his car. I calmy explain that his car was in my space and I had his car towed. He starts whining and complaining about how is he going to get his car late at night, where did they take it, etc. etc. I told him I don't know and he needs to ask the tow company. They are listed on the sign at the entrance. I say bye and shut the door.
HE CAME BACK.
I opened the door and he is standing there with a beer in his hand.
Ooops. His mistake.
He started telling me off because I was costing him $300 to get his car back, and he didn't have anywhere else to park, and he didn't know and and and.
I snapped. I told him that he needed to take that up with his sister-in-law as I was not responsible for teaching him where to park, I was not responsible for how much the company charges, (and my voice keeps rising).
He interrupted me and said that I should have come and asked whose car that was.
OhNoYouDidNotTellMeWhatIShouldHaveDoneToMakeYourLi feEasierWhileHoldingABeerInYourHand.
Let's just say that the entire community heard a string of curse words come out of my mouth. My head must have spun around on my shoulders because that man started backing away and heading back up the stairs. I ended my tyraid by shouting:
"And it's not my responsibility to go around after work knocking on 150 F***ing doors asking whose G**D*** car is in MY parking space"
I never had another problem with parking. No one in my building ever had another problem with parking.
I continued to be pleasant with the upstairs neighbor and her daughter was especially friendly after the event. When they moved out a few months later, I offered them the use of my parking space (next to theirs) so that they could get the moving truck closer to the sidewalk.
I'm sure you and your neighbor will recover from your session of Honest Sharing!
I did something similar about 2 years ago.
I was renting a condo.
Each condo came with two assigned parking spaces as listed in the contract.
Our building had two additional guest parking spaces.
Our building also had the pool next door (no pool parking spaces).
So keeping your space was sometimes an issue.
I worked long hours in retail standing all day. I didn't appreciate having to find a place to park and walk to my door after a long day. The managment had posted a sign at the gated entrance listing the name and number of the tow company contracted to remove cars that were in resident parking.
My neighbors and I had reached an understanding about our assigned parking spaces. We let each other know if we were having company and needed to borrow a space. We also ran off the college kids who gate crashed to come to the pool and parked in our places. (we asked them to move or be towed) But apparently the new lady upstairs from me, didn't think it applied to her guests.
Memorial day weekend, and I am exhausted. I come home and a strange car is in my space. My son's space is available and the guest spaces are available. I call my elderly neighbor and ask if she has any idea who it belongs to, but she did not see the driver. She agrees that we have never seen that car.
I call the tow truck. They arrived within 10 minutes. I have my space again and move my car back where it belongs.
Then I get a knock at the door. There's a man standing there that I have never seen before. Says he is the brother in law of my upstairs neighbor. He wants to know if I know what happened to his car. I calmy explain that his car was in my space and I had his car towed. He starts whining and complaining about how is he going to get his car late at night, where did they take it, etc. etc. I told him I don't know and he needs to ask the tow company. They are listed on the sign at the entrance. I say bye and shut the door.
HE CAME BACK.
I opened the door and he is standing there with a beer in his hand.
Ooops. His mistake.
He started telling me off because I was costing him $300 to get his car back, and he didn't have anywhere else to park, and he didn't know and and and.
I snapped. I told him that he needed to take that up with his sister-in-law as I was not responsible for teaching him where to park, I was not responsible for how much the company charges, (and my voice keeps rising).
He interrupted me and said that I should have come and asked whose car that was.
OhNoYouDidNotTellMeWhatIShouldHaveDoneToMakeYourLi feEasierWhileHoldingABeerInYourHand.
Let's just say that the entire community heard a string of curse words come out of my mouth. My head must have spun around on my shoulders because that man started backing away and heading back up the stairs. I ended my tyraid by shouting:
"And it's not my responsibility to go around after work knocking on 150 F***ing doors asking whose G**D*** car is in MY parking space"
I never had another problem with parking. No one in my building ever had another problem with parking.
I continued to be pleasant with the upstairs neighbor and her daughter was especially friendly after the event. When they moved out a few months later, I offered them the use of my parking space (next to theirs) so that they could get the moving truck closer to the sidewalk.
I'm sure you and your neighbor will recover from your session of Honest Sharing!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: Portlandia
Posts: 77
I don't think serenity means being a doormat! Seems like it's best address the things that negatively impact our serenity otherwise we won't have any. Good on you for standing up to this bully!
I'm with Pelican - perhaps this incident will usher in the era of a better neighbor relationship with this guy. Even if that means a civil distance. I kind of look at things from an animal training point of view; if your (neighbor) (dog) (cat) does anything positive, reward the try.
Eventually, it becomes habit for them.
And don't judge yourself too much for this wee event in your life. You did good, no more and no less than what you needed to do at the time. ((pat on back))
I'm with Pelican - perhaps this incident will usher in the era of a better neighbor relationship with this guy. Even if that means a civil distance. I kind of look at things from an animal training point of view; if your (neighbor) (dog) (cat) does anything positive, reward the try.
Eventually, it becomes habit for them.And don't judge yourself too much for this wee event in your life. You did good, no more and no less than what you needed to do at the time. ((pat on back))
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Alaska
Posts: 2,913
I haven't had any issues with neighbors, yet. DS and I love the ones we see often and rarely see the others.... Just got lucky I guess, though the drive has been killing me.
A friend I worked with had a fence painting party once. It looked like he had picked a few of the most hideous left overs ever and then a white. Most of the fence was a pretty little white picket fence: what could be seen from his house and from most of the other lots. There was however one section that got a patchwork treatment. We asked what was up. He told us to turn around from the patchwork and look for binoculars. ????
Turns out that particular section was highly visible to the back yard of one lot, which belonged to the neighborhood complainer, and who apparently spent her days looking through her windows with binoculars for stuff to report to the owners assoc. Apparently there was no policy in place for how to paint your fence, just that one couldn't leave it weathered or untreated. I'm not sure what else happened to get him so peeved, but that section of fence was awful. He said he'd go back over it with white.... after a few days. LOL
A friend I worked with had a fence painting party once. It looked like he had picked a few of the most hideous left overs ever and then a white. Most of the fence was a pretty little white picket fence: what could be seen from his house and from most of the other lots. There was however one section that got a patchwork treatment. We asked what was up. He told us to turn around from the patchwork and look for binoculars. ????
Turns out that particular section was highly visible to the back yard of one lot, which belonged to the neighborhood complainer, and who apparently spent her days looking through her windows with binoculars for stuff to report to the owners assoc. Apparently there was no policy in place for how to paint your fence, just that one couldn't leave it weathered or untreated. I'm not sure what else happened to get him so peeved, but that section of fence was awful. He said he'd go back over it with white.... after a few days. LOL
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Originally Posted by Pelican 
OhNoYouDidNotTellMeWhatIShouldHaveDoneToMakeYourLi feEasierWhileHoldingABeerInYourHand.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
I'm sorry but Pelican, you made me laugh so hard I'm crying here!!! Oh neighbor woes!!!
Tuffgirl -- it's amazing what fundamental jerks people can be. People can behave as if divorce, like death and cancer, is contagious. I've seriously had people back away from me after my divorce because they didn't want their spouse to "get any ideas" -- not about ME, you see, but about DIVORCING. Because, you know, if the neighbor didn't divorce her husband, this guys' wife wouldn't know she could leave him... or something. *sigh*
I wish I could be more like m1k3 and have a little more zen in my life. But I'm kind of proud of you for chewing that guy out. I'm kind of rooting a bit here going "Go TG!" and I hope that's not a bad thing.
Actually, that is something I'm learning, too -- that it's OK to stand up for myself.
Tuffgirl -- it's amazing what fundamental jerks people can be. People can behave as if divorce, like death and cancer, is contagious. I've seriously had people back away from me after my divorce because they didn't want their spouse to "get any ideas" -- not about ME, you see, but about DIVORCING. Because, you know, if the neighbor didn't divorce her husband, this guys' wife wouldn't know she could leave him... or something. *sigh*
I wish I could be more like m1k3 and have a little more zen in my life. But I'm kind of proud of you for chewing that guy out. I'm kind of rooting a bit here going "Go TG!" and I hope that's not a bad thing.
Actually, that is something I'm learning, too -- that it's OK to stand up for myself.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
Originally Posted by Cyranoak
...you have to call a dick a dick.
Last week my son was playing a tight tennis match and his opponent kept cheating him on line calls. My son(he's 14) walked up to the net very casually and said, "Hey. That's the their time. THE THIRD TIME you've cheated me in this set and I'm getting tired of it. I can stand here all day, do YOU have all day to stand here and listen to me? No? I'm going to get a ref, so quit making bad calls!"
Now, my son doesn't curse or use bad words but I had them flying through my head(including the d word) at that point and all the parents around me told me that my son deserved a medal for sticking up for himself and for doing it calmly but with enough force to get his point across. Needless to say, he gained the respect of his opponent's Russian coach and he didn't get cheated for the rest of the match.
Tuffgirl, you stood up for yourself and made a point. Ain't nothing wrong with that. If anything, it's one of the things I envy in others because I struggle with it, and it gave me great satisfaction to know that my once timid son will now stick up for himself when he needs to. It's taken me a lifetime to learn to NOT be a doormat. You go girl!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Thanks all! Mother Nature has taken care of the issue for me for a bit longer. We've got new snow this morning, and the temps dropped back down below 32. Can't clean up frozen poop! Everyone here knows poop/yard clean up happens in the middle to end of April. Except for jerkface neighbor, who lets his dog poop in our common areas, so he never has to clean anything up. Of course he wouldn't know, right?!
Now here's the amazing part - he is no longer parking on street between our houses. GREAT! Except that winter is almost over, so the inconvenience of you parking there isn't that big of a deal anymore.
Thanks Lillamy, I hadn't thought of it this way, or, as it was pointed out to me by a guy, he may just dislike women who divorce because he had a bad one himself.
Now here's the amazing part - he is no longer parking on street between our houses. GREAT! Except that winter is almost over, so the inconvenience of you parking there isn't that big of a deal anymore.
People can behave as if divorce, like death and cancer, is contagious. I've seriously had people back away from me after my divorce because they didn't want their spouse to "get any ideas" -- not about ME, you see, but about DIVORCING.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
I think you did amazingly Tuffgirl!
Funny how men consider a man who is bossy as manlly, but women who speak their minds are B*&#%$'s! He will probably not try to bully you any more. Maybe since he figured you did not have a 'man' to 'defend' you anymore, he could safely start harrassing/complaining. guess you showed him that women are not meek , timid, rugs to walk on.
The stories here reminded me of the time I went sort of berserk on my neighbor. I lived in an apartment building, and the family across from me split up, leaving dad there alone, to party with all his friends til dawn. I had to wake at 4:30, and one night I had taken all I could take. I got two metal trash can lids from the cans in the hall, and stood outside his door, and banged them together repeatedly, as loudly as I could! Then went back into my apt. They got very quiet, looked out their door and of course I was gone. They were pretty quiet after that...lol.
And it felt really good to bang them together- it's great for getting your anger out!
Funny how men consider a man who is bossy as manlly, but women who speak their minds are B*&#%$'s! He will probably not try to bully you any more. Maybe since he figured you did not have a 'man' to 'defend' you anymore, he could safely start harrassing/complaining. guess you showed him that women are not meek , timid, rugs to walk on.
The stories here reminded me of the time I went sort of berserk on my neighbor. I lived in an apartment building, and the family across from me split up, leaving dad there alone, to party with all his friends til dawn. I had to wake at 4:30, and one night I had taken all I could take. I got two metal trash can lids from the cans in the hall, and stood outside his door, and banged them together repeatedly, as loudly as I could! Then went back into my apt. They got very quiet, looked out their door and of course I was gone. They were pretty quiet after that...lol.
And it felt really good to bang them together- it's great for getting your anger out!
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