CODA recovery exercises
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
CODA recovery exercises
Due to my recent codependent drama and heart heaviness, I decided to start working the first CODA step. I found some CODA exercises online, hope it is ok to post them here:
"If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. If we really know how to live, what better way to start the day than with a smile? Our smile affirms our awareness and determination to live in peace and joy. The source of a true smile is an awakened mind." - Thich Nhat Hanh
Co-Dependents Anonymous Promise 1:
“I know a new sense of belonging. The feelings of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.”
Remember, there is no “right” way to work the Steps. Find your way. Give yourself permission to work the Steps imperfectly. Try not to judge yourself. Continue this process at your pace, in your way, a way that works for you.
Co-Dependents Anonymous Step 1:
“We admitted we were powerless over others – that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Make a list of 10 people you’ve tried to control. Put a brief example or two next to each one. For example, “Sam – I try to make him eat better and workout.”
Make a list of people who you let control you. Again, give an example or two next to each one. For example, “Carole – I go anywhere she wants to go even when I’m not interested in them.”
How is your life unmanageable?
Write the phrase, “I am powerless over others.” Read it aloud, slowly, ten times. How does that feel?
Using your list from above, substitute people you’ve tried to control in the following sentence:
“I am powerless over ______.” Write out each one. (“I am powerless over ______….”) How do you feel? Angry? Sad? Something else?
List all the ways you try to control in your life.
Who do you want or “need” to “figure out”? Why? Will figuring someone out give you power? Will the power last? What is your experience?
Remember - YOU are precious! You are safe. And you are working hard on regaining your life, happiness, security, wholeness and serenity.
"If in our daily life we can smile, if we can be peaceful and happy, not only we, but everyone will profit from it. If we really know how to live, what better way to start the day than with a smile? Our smile affirms our awareness and determination to live in peace and joy. The source of a true smile is an awakened mind." - Thich Nhat Hanh
Co-Dependents Anonymous Promise 1:
“I know a new sense of belonging. The feelings of emptiness and loneliness will disappear.”
Remember, there is no “right” way to work the Steps. Find your way. Give yourself permission to work the Steps imperfectly. Try not to judge yourself. Continue this process at your pace, in your way, a way that works for you.
Co-Dependents Anonymous Step 1:
“We admitted we were powerless over others – that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Make a list of 10 people you’ve tried to control. Put a brief example or two next to each one. For example, “Sam – I try to make him eat better and workout.”
Make a list of people who you let control you. Again, give an example or two next to each one. For example, “Carole – I go anywhere she wants to go even when I’m not interested in them.”
How is your life unmanageable?
Write the phrase, “I am powerless over others.” Read it aloud, slowly, ten times. How does that feel?
Using your list from above, substitute people you’ve tried to control in the following sentence:
“I am powerless over ______.” Write out each one. (“I am powerless over ______….”) How do you feel? Angry? Sad? Something else?
List all the ways you try to control in your life.
Who do you want or “need” to “figure out”? Why? Will figuring someone out give you power? Will the power last? What is your experience?
Remember - YOU are precious! You are safe. And you are working hard on regaining your life, happiness, security, wholeness and serenity.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Franklin, MA
Posts: 10
I think I am finally in a place where I see this as reality. How did we get here?? I have been like this for so long. It still amazes me that I have found this whole world of others that are just like me for the same reason. It is like I have been alone for so long and I opened the door and you were all waiting for me... I know that probably sounds crazy too. Powerful realization that you are not alone.
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Since I left the XABF years ago and have been single for a while, live alone and am very independent in life in general, it was easier to be in denial. Yes I knew I had issues but I did give them importance as I did not feel that bad. (Thinking that without the alcoholic "I was fine" 
just like alkies, abstinence is just the beginning )
The last dating fiasco I lived convinced me that I need serious help but gladly I am able to be compassionate with myself. I also feel much better knowing codependency is something known, that there are many like me and that there are solutions. Just knowing its under my power to feel better is priceless.
just like alkies, abstinence is just the beginning )The last dating fiasco I lived convinced me that I need serious help but gladly I am able to be compassionate with myself. I also feel much better knowing codependency is something known, that there are many like me and that there are solutions. Just knowing its under my power to feel better is priceless.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Arborfield, SK, Canada
Posts: 3
This is very helpful information. I have been trying to figure out how to start working the steps and I always seemed to hit a road block of some sort. It seemed so overwhelming I just didn't know where or how to start.
This helps me get started. What about the second step - any exercises for that one?
This helps me get started. What about the second step - any exercises for that one?
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Unknown
Posts: 155
I know this thread is older, but hoping someone will read my post. This was the most appropriate place I could find what I was looking for. Just yesterday, my counselor suggested I read about codependency, and maybe attend a meeting. The meetings in my area are out of either travel range, or time for me. I know, excuses- but I work a lot! I was hoping there would be a CoDA group on SoberRecovery since codependency, and addiction are often hand in hand.
Do any of you members know of an area on this site where I could find something like that?
Thank you!
Do any of you members know of an area on this site where I could find something like that?
Thank you!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Starting over all over again
Posts: 4,426
Originally Posted by Liebe 
... Do any of you members know of an area on this site where I could find something like that?...
Mike
Moderator, SR
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Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Maryland
Posts: 178
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6QW3dnaMUI
this is great also
this is great also
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