Feel Broken and Just Plain Sad...........
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
So sorry this happened to you I am seeing this a lot now in this economy where housing has lost so much value and at the end of the day its the equity that is split not the amount of money put into the home (and from whom it came from).
I would talk to another attorney maybe even 2 or 3 more you may be surprised at the variance you will get among them. Secondly you are on the mortgage note correct? Whatever you do do not hand him that house back without him applying for a new mortgage DO NOT DO IT. A divorce decree does not supercede the contract even if a Judge orders him to pay the mortgage, if he defaults even if its 20 years from now, the mortgage company can come after you and it won't matter what the Judge said (and it will also go on YOUR credit report). Saw this many, many, many times while working in bankruptcy/foreclosre.
Because of the length of your marriage perhaps you could negotiate some living time at the house on his dime. Maybe 6 months or so? Lastly you could force sale of the house if he can't get a mortgage in his own name. Its not to be vindictive - but you must protect your future. Remember also that if you leave with your name on the note that when you go to buy another home it will show a financial obligation to this house and could affect the amount of the loan you get.
I would talk to another attorney maybe even 2 or 3 more you may be surprised at the variance you will get among them. Secondly you are on the mortgage note correct? Whatever you do do not hand him that house back without him applying for a new mortgage DO NOT DO IT. A divorce decree does not supercede the contract even if a Judge orders him to pay the mortgage, if he defaults even if its 20 years from now, the mortgage company can come after you and it won't matter what the Judge said (and it will also go on YOUR credit report). Saw this many, many, many times while working in bankruptcy/foreclosre.
Because of the length of your marriage perhaps you could negotiate some living time at the house on his dime. Maybe 6 months or so? Lastly you could force sale of the house if he can't get a mortgage in his own name. Its not to be vindictive - but you must protect your future. Remember also that if you leave with your name on the note that when you go to buy another home it will show a financial obligation to this house and could affect the amount of the loan you get.
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
Attorneys are all different, some are passive and just want the easy way out and others are very aggressive. The law can be interepted in many ways,and, has many loopholes. One can fight or one can immediately accept and give up.
Personally, I would sit down with a different attorney, in the overall scheme of things the house is just another asset. What is it that you want? X#$'s, should be the bottom line, he really doesn't want to be dragged into court, it is a very expensive venture, think settlement yet make him believe that you are going for his throat. Don't discuss one little thing about what you attorney says with him...in the end...it is all like a chess game, a game of planning and strategic moves.
When masters are playing chess, it can take hours and hours between moves, each move is thought out in detail, a master anticipates their challengers next move and as soon as that move is made, the master is already planning out the next move. What I am saying is, don't move too quickly, take your time, that home is your domicle, you are his wife..he can't just toss you out on the street, there are laws that protect you. Find out what they are.
IMO the best thing you can do is to take the emotions out of the equation, I know, easier said than done, but, this is strictly business.
I am very sorry for your emotional turmoil, keep posting it will help.
Personally, I would sit down with a different attorney, in the overall scheme of things the house is just another asset. What is it that you want? X#$'s, should be the bottom line, he really doesn't want to be dragged into court, it is a very expensive venture, think settlement yet make him believe that you are going for his throat. Don't discuss one little thing about what you attorney says with him...in the end...it is all like a chess game, a game of planning and strategic moves.
When masters are playing chess, it can take hours and hours between moves, each move is thought out in detail, a master anticipates their challengers next move and as soon as that move is made, the master is already planning out the next move. What I am saying is, don't move too quickly, take your time, that home is your domicle, you are his wife..he can't just toss you out on the street, there are laws that protect you. Find out what they are.
IMO the best thing you can do is to take the emotions out of the equation, I know, easier said than done, but, this is strictly business.
I am very sorry for your emotional turmoil, keep posting it will help.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
I'm sorry you are in a dark place today. I think those days come and go during this process. There is really no wrong decision. Fight it or walk away. Do the thing that gives you strength.
I'm in a 50/50 state too and chose to go with the 50/50 and not fight it. Fighting costs money and more importantly I did not have the time or mental resources at that time to fight. It would have been a hard fight to win at any rate.
I lost pretty much everything but I do not regret it and I'm doing just fine today.
I'm in a 50/50 state too and chose to go with the 50/50 and not fight it. Fighting costs money and more importantly I did not have the time or mental resources at that time to fight. It would have been a hard fight to win at any rate.
I lost pretty much everything but I do not regret it and I'm doing just fine today.
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