tiny450

My alcoholic husband and i have been married for 15 years.His drinking became worse after his sister was murdered.I tried to get him help but he told the medical community he would rather talk to his alcoholic buddies.last summer I was propositioned by his step father, I found out my alcoholic husband had been trying to "sell" my services for 3-4 years.I filed a police report.I then called our family doctor and he informed me that my alcoholic husband had called him and been on a character defamation tangent(about me) Shortly after that the element in the hot water heater needed to be replaced.He decided with his alcoholic buddies to replace it.They took the hose for draining and proceeded to whip it around the basement,flooding it.I was left hauling up the wet stuff and i am disabled and can only do so much.He would not help.He did call his elderly relatives to help and I mean in their 80's.I intervened and he yelled at me so viciously I ran into the bedroom trying in a panic to find something to defend myself with..forgetting in my panic there was my cell phone.There was the coffee pots, they kept leaking all over the counter,so I bought one after another before he admitted tampering with the springy thing to make them leak and he thought it was hilarious.This is just the tip of the ice berg, there are more incidents.I am getting counseling,going to al-anon,and seeing doctors.
One doctor thinks my alcoholic husband is suffering from that syndrome alcoholic gets which goes into dementia.I was cleaning some boxes from his and found medical bills from years before we were married,he had been admitted to rehap on several occasions but said he liked to drink.I want to move out by my daughter and her family,3 hours away, but since I own a house do not qualify for housing assistance.I have sent for information for
housing for the handicapped but the people I have talked to over the phone have said when and if I qualify there is a 1 to 2 year waiting period.Two days ago he upset me so much I backed into a local utility truck..no damage but it shows how his behavior upsets me.If not for doctors appointments I would leave right now as he is a walking time bomb for the next thing he does

janiebluebird

That is NOT love, it is not healthy, and you need to get yourself out of that situation as soon as you possibly can. Do what ever it takes. Your AH sounds like a sick creep, and possibly dangerous person. Regardless, you do not deserve to have someone like this in your life. You will be better off without all of this insanity in your life.

Dee74

Hi Tiny,

I've moved this from our Daily Support Forum.
I know you'll find support and experience here

D

NYCDoglvr

how can you NOT leave? The things he as done and said are completely unacceptable. Both alcoholism and codependency come with denial and rationalization. I hope you find your way to Alanon. After going to Alanon for a bit I learned that what I called love was really need.

Ask yourself if you trust and respect him.

LexieCat

Hi, I'm sorry you are dealing with all this craziness. I suggest you contact your local domestic violence shelter and talk with one of the counselors about your husband's behavior. It may be that you can qualify for a restraining order that would require him to leave the house and to have no contact with you. Whether you will qualify for an order will depend on the law where you live, but it is worth a try. Either way, they may be able to help you there.

Recovering2

I"m so sorry you're dealing with this, but glad you found this site. Yes, alcoholics can develop a form of dementia from long term drinking. If that's what's going on he isn't able to control it and that's very dangerous for you. Either way, it's a dangerous situation and your safety comes first. I agree that you should contact a local DV shelter and get some experienced advice. Who knows what kind of support is available to help you.

Please keep posting and let us know how you are.

Sasha4

Please leave him.
He is a childish, mean, dangerous bully.

Whatever stage of alcoholism he is in, it does not matter.
Go and know you did the right thing and do not feel guilty.

If I could come and drag you away from him, believe me I would.

If you can go live near your daughter, then do it.

Have you confided in your daughter?
Does she know what is happening?

I think she might insist you leave and go be with her if she knew.

And I don't think he is in the dementia phase.
I think the things he is doing would not things like that if he were in that stage. He would be having random conversations, forgetting things, repeating himself, loosing possessions. He does not really seem to be doing that from what you have described. He seems to be just intent on making your life miserable.

tiny450

thanks everyone for your input.He also messed up his tax information at work so I have to wait until the tax cpa straightens it out..I have to sign the end result. I swear he does these things on purpose to try to control me in his mind.I am getting information about housing and have several applications in the works.Thanks everyone for being here .