Death of a child from Alcoholism
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Santa Maria, CA
Posts: 1
Death of a child from Alcoholism
I lost my son on Jan. 18, 2012 to alcohol/drugs. A ninth grade girl found him dead, under a bridge in Phoenix. I didn't live there. I was notified the night he died by a detective by phone. My son struggled with alcohol since 1997. He never had over 6 months sober in all those years. I always thought he would end up dying on the streets and I admit, I enabled him. I saved him over and over by getting him into clean and sober places, to get him off the streets and safe. I hadn't heard from my son in over 2 weeks and that's the longest we'd ever gone in 34 years. He was 34 when he died. I truly believe alcoholism is a disease, like cancer, etc. Sometimes it takes hold of a person and the battle you fight against it, just doesn't work. I can't even describe, put into words the emptiness I feel inside. He was my only child and he was also my life. My son would drink a gallon+ vodka a day and on top of that, he would take any kind of pain pill, oxy, herion, anything. I will someday post some of his "tortured" writings I'd saved over the years. Maybe, just maybe it will touch one person enough to make them see the light. No one deserves to die the way my son did. Alone, under a bridge, sick from withdrawls, sick from pancreatitis, heartbroken not being able to see his son, hungry and cold. The visions I have in my head of him, dying that way will never leave my mind, never. If I had of known the circumstances, I would have, with no hesitation, driven the 14 hours (at the time) to find him and get him to a safe place. To once again, save him. I have soo much to say about his death, the years leading up to it and..... I also want to help people that are struggling
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: Ferndale, Wa.
Posts: 68
I am so sorry for your loss of your son
I have prayed for you.I hope that maybe as some time passes ,the horrible thoughts you have will lesson.Please know that you only tried to help your son,not enable him I feel.That's what mothers do. He is at peace now in his fathers home. No more pain. I hope you will share some more when you can.
Sober since 10th April 2012
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Perth, Western Australia
Posts: 6,047
Connie I am so sorry that you have been robbed of your son by addiction. I think some people are unfortunately wired to be strongly addicted to certain substances, and it's a huge struggle to recover. I hope your grandson and the thoughts of what you can contribute in the future are some small comfort.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 17
I am so very sorry for your loss, Connie,you are in my thoughts and prayers..I also have an A S and have spent 25yrs,praying,raging,and desperately trying to keep him from alcohol.Sadly our love is not always enough...I hope in time you can accept he is now at peace.A big hug from one mother to another ...God Bless.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I'm so sorry, Connie,
I can't even imagine the pain, and I've seen a lot of it with this disease. It's a killer.
Even if you had been a position to rescue him, I suspect he would have continued to suffer.
Hugs and prayers for you all,
I can't even imagine the pain, and I've seen a lot of it with this disease. It's a killer.
Even if you had been a position to rescue him, I suspect he would have continued to suffer.
Hugs and prayers for you all,
Member
Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 13,497
Connie,
I am so very sorry for this terrible loss of your son.
It sounds like you did the loving things for him, helping him to have some sober, clean,and comfortable times. We cannot cure them, that is the heartbreaker.
He knew he was loved, and surely that comforted him, and keeping in contact with you shows that you gave him love he needed.
my heart hurts for you and I pray for your peace and healing. Your son is in the loving arms of God, and free from his disease and the pain associated with it.
thank you for sharing. your story, and your son's will no doubt help someone who desperately needs it.
chicory
I am so very sorry for this terrible loss of your son.
It sounds like you did the loving things for him, helping him to have some sober, clean,and comfortable times. We cannot cure them, that is the heartbreaker.
He knew he was loved, and surely that comforted him, and keeping in contact with you shows that you gave him love he needed.
my heart hurts for you and I pray for your peace and healing. Your son is in the loving arms of God, and free from his disease and the pain associated with it.
thank you for sharing. your story, and your son's will no doubt help someone who desperately needs it.
chicory
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Connie)) - I'm so very sorry for your loss. I promise you, he knew you loved him (I'm a recovering addict and have/had loved ones who are still actively using/drinking). Though not a child, I've lost people to addiction and even though I know what's going through their minds, I couldn't stop it.
Please be gentle with yourself and keep reading/posting here. We will walk through this with you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Please be gentle with yourself and keep reading/posting here. We will walk through this with you.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 693
Connie my heart broke when I read your post but I too believe he knew how much you loved him. You did what moms do-you loved him no matter what.
Come back and post. There are very kind and gentle people here who may be able to help you heal this huge loss.
Come back and post. There are very kind and gentle people here who may be able to help you heal this huge loss.
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