how does this happen?
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 1,407
I felt much like you did initially. I did not want to have to go to meetings, did not want to be part of a group that was associated with alcohol. Why do I have to have a sponsor, why do I have to work steps....I'm not the alcoholic!!! I've had enough on my plate taking care of everything in our lives, now I have to do all this too?
When my BF went into a treatment program, they asked that I come out and spend a week in their family recovery program. Great. So now I have to take time off work, find someone to feed the cat, and travel out of state to listen to people talk about alcohol. Great....just great.
I showed up one angry, fed up woman. I soon realized every other family member was feeling much like me. I also realized quickly that the program was not about the A, it was about us...the loved ones. The entire week focused on us. I went to my first AlAnon meetings that week. So scared and tired when I walked in those doors, cried the whole time.
I look back now and am forever grateful that I found AlAnon and recovery. I DO have my own recovery. I am recovering from the experiences of living with an active A. I am learning about healthy boundaries. I am learning to let others decide their life for themselves, and I'll decide mine. I have taken what I've heard and what I've learned in AlAnon into every aspect of my life. Work, family, friends....all those relationships have benefited from my recovery experience. In a very weird strange way, I'm sort of thankful that my BF's disease led me to AlAnon.
When my BF went into a treatment program, they asked that I come out and spend a week in their family recovery program. Great. So now I have to take time off work, find someone to feed the cat, and travel out of state to listen to people talk about alcohol. Great....just great.
I showed up one angry, fed up woman. I soon realized every other family member was feeling much like me. I also realized quickly that the program was not about the A, it was about us...the loved ones. The entire week focused on us. I went to my first AlAnon meetings that week. So scared and tired when I walked in those doors, cried the whole time.
I look back now and am forever grateful that I found AlAnon and recovery. I DO have my own recovery. I am recovering from the experiences of living with an active A. I am learning about healthy boundaries. I am learning to let others decide their life for themselves, and I'll decide mine. I have taken what I've heard and what I've learned in AlAnon into every aspect of my life. Work, family, friends....all those relationships have benefited from my recovery experience. In a very weird strange way, I'm sort of thankful that my BF's disease led me to AlAnon.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 33
gratitude list. That strikes a chord with me. I am by nature an optimist, and you are right, you have to look at the positive to deal with the negative. I will be happy for the day I dont have to remind myself to be positive and it comes naturally again, but maybe a gratitude list could help me with the hard days at hand. I too am greatful for finding support, and you all.
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