So AH just shows up yesterday.............
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 598
So AH just shows up yesterday.............
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to work on the boat so he can put it back on the lift. He just goes behind the house - I see the truck- he then knocks on the door all nice and sweet - hey - you look good. It brought tears to my eyes- he hugs the dog - acts all nice - says some random crap and then tells me he loves me. I wont look at him. It made me cry.
Today I text and say - hey please don't come by when I am home it was upsetting and I can't handle it. Well here comes the ugliness- He says its his house too - which it is - but that lazy **** doesn't pay - has not for over a year and does not live here anymore. He does not respect one boundary I have - starts in on me - ridiculous stuff - I end up unloading on him and telling him I don't want to hear he loves me- It is a load of crap - which solved nothing but got me pissed and then I came in and my dog has crapped and peed in the house. Getting **** on all over the place today. He says boat will be gone in 2 or 3 weeks- fine- and then I won't have to see him. I so want to just quit paying the mortgage - and stay here until I can't - and leave him stuck- I am not that kind of person- but my God . He kept bringing up his parents and how they helped me when we met - mind you we are 50. here is how they helped me - When I met Ah he lived in a 2nd paid for house his parents have - when we got engaged and I moved in before we bought the River house - they wanted to charge me rent - not him - me - but they had never charged him anything - so I paid them- it was not high but it was the principle -I was not family and they wanted and have always wanted me to know that. They can all **** off......... I will be done with them soon . I am asking for forgiveness for my mean bad feelings- it is not good. He is a pathetic man who does not help his kids - pay to live - and only cares about himself. So glad I am moving forward - it is hard as hell but I am moving forward - just super mad at myself for putting up with his **** for so long. I did it - I own it.
to work on the boat so he can put it back on the lift. He just goes behind the house - I see the truck- he then knocks on the door all nice and sweet - hey - you look good. It brought tears to my eyes- he hugs the dog - acts all nice - says some random crap and then tells me he loves me. I wont look at him. It made me cry.
Today I text and say - hey please don't come by when I am home it was upsetting and I can't handle it. Well here comes the ugliness- He says its his house too - which it is - but that lazy **** doesn't pay - has not for over a year and does not live here anymore. He does not respect one boundary I have - starts in on me - ridiculous stuff - I end up unloading on him and telling him I don't want to hear he loves me- It is a load of crap - which solved nothing but got me pissed and then I came in and my dog has crapped and peed in the house. Getting **** on all over the place today. He says boat will be gone in 2 or 3 weeks- fine- and then I won't have to see him. I so want to just quit paying the mortgage - and stay here until I can't - and leave him stuck- I am not that kind of person- but my God . He kept bringing up his parents and how they helped me when we met - mind you we are 50. here is how they helped me - When I met Ah he lived in a 2nd paid for house his parents have - when we got engaged and I moved in before we bought the River house - they wanted to charge me rent - not him - me - but they had never charged him anything - so I paid them- it was not high but it was the principle -I was not family and they wanted and have always wanted me to know that. They can all **** off......... I will be done with them soon . I am asking for forgiveness for my mean bad feelings- it is not good. He is a pathetic man who does not help his kids - pay to live - and only cares about himself. So glad I am moving forward - it is hard as hell but I am moving forward - just super mad at myself for putting up with his **** for so long. I did it - I own it.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 336
So sorry to hear about all the pain you're going through. I know what you mean about the family - I think in-laws treat you in whatever way they can get away with. If they have a child who will not put up with any c**p - they tend to watch themselves around that child's spouse - but otherwise if their own child couldn't care less then on they go . I don't know if I'll ever be in a relationship again or ever get married again but one thing I do know is that I 'll walk before putting up with that rubbish again.
No point in blaming yourself - hindsight is 20 20.
You're heading in the right direction ((Hugs)).
No point in blaming yourself - hindsight is 20 20.
You're heading in the right direction ((Hugs)).
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Oh boy not so pleasant day.
Are you going to Al Anon Susie? If not it will help you to deal with these types of situations.
Cause here is the deal - you can't stop him from coming by anymore than you could stop him from drinking. It is his house, and while upsetting to you I don't believe your feelings have been of great concern to AH in a long time. You really need to learn to disengage from him - have you filed for divorce?
Are you going to Al Anon Susie? If not it will help you to deal with these types of situations.
Cause here is the deal - you can't stop him from coming by anymore than you could stop him from drinking. It is his house, and while upsetting to you I don't believe your feelings have been of great concern to AH in a long time. You really need to learn to disengage from him - have you filed for divorce?
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