Just over a week and I feel more myself.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Cheshire, England
Posts: 49
Just over a week and I feel more myself.
Hi everyone,
It's just over a week since I joined this forum and it's been a 'rollercoaster ride'. I found a wealth of information on here which educated me on Alcoholism and how to cope with a AH.
The first couple of days of learning it's 'not my fault, I didn't cause it, I can't cure it' really was a revelation for me! So, I backed off from my AH and just let him be. Then I found myself reading about 'co-dependancy' which really sent me into a spin. I found myself really anxious and blaming myself and felt quite desperate for a few days. I know that may sound dramatic but I was emotionally and physically 'wrung out' over all the info I had digested.
Anyhow, the past couple of days I have settled down and feel more in control of my situation. What has really helped me is not being so confrontational with my AH when he has one of his 'benders'. I have actually learnt that I may have been 'fuelling' the repetative arguments over his binge drinking. The anger and resentment is 'diffusing' in me and I feel I am accepting 'who he is'.
We are getting along a lot better during the daytime even though his drinking hasn't changed, there is more calm in the house.
I am taking 'baby steps' at the moment towards my future and I am trying to look after myself more and trying to stop focusing on him, which is a massive relief for me.
Who knows how I will feel this time next week, but for now I am feeling a bit better about life and I thought I would share this with you!
Thank you everyone and I hope you all have a good weekend.:ghug3
It's just over a week since I joined this forum and it's been a 'rollercoaster ride'. I found a wealth of information on here which educated me on Alcoholism and how to cope with a AH.
The first couple of days of learning it's 'not my fault, I didn't cause it, I can't cure it' really was a revelation for me! So, I backed off from my AH and just let him be. Then I found myself reading about 'co-dependancy' which really sent me into a spin. I found myself really anxious and blaming myself and felt quite desperate for a few days. I know that may sound dramatic but I was emotionally and physically 'wrung out' over all the info I had digested.
Anyhow, the past couple of days I have settled down and feel more in control of my situation. What has really helped me is not being so confrontational with my AH when he has one of his 'benders'. I have actually learnt that I may have been 'fuelling' the repetative arguments over his binge drinking. The anger and resentment is 'diffusing' in me and I feel I am accepting 'who he is'.
We are getting along a lot better during the daytime even though his drinking hasn't changed, there is more calm in the house.
I am taking 'baby steps' at the moment towards my future and I am trying to look after myself more and trying to stop focusing on him, which is a massive relief for me.
Who knows how I will feel this time next week, but for now I am feeling a bit better about life and I thought I would share this with you!
Thank you everyone and I hope you all have a good weekend.:ghug3
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Good for you! Yeah, this stuff doesn't come overnight--most of us have to work and work at it, slip once in a while, get re-focused on what is our business, and keep on keepin' on.
Your efforts may contribute in some small ways to his facing up to HIS issue, but that's really a by-product of the benefits it will give YOU. Once you get the hang of it, detaching can take a lot of the angst out of day-to-day life.
Your efforts may contribute in some small ways to his facing up to HIS issue, but that's really a by-product of the benefits it will give YOU. Once you get the hang of it, detaching can take a lot of the angst out of day-to-day life.
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