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Old 02-07-2013, 08:22 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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I too tried a medication to stop smoking called Chantix. As did my half sister. We were living together at the time.

Not only did I get the very 'strange' dreams, not nightmares just strange, but I could feel my whole 'being' change. I was getting moody, depressed, angry and a whole lot more. At about 4 weeks on the medication I realized it might be the meds and I just 'stopped' taking it. Bad mistake. I was suppose to 'taper' but either way it would have taken as long as it did.

I continued to be all the above until about 10 weeks after the day I started taking it, where I finally started to feel like I wasn't walking around with this big black cloud over my head. I said never again.

Now years later, they briefly mention these 'possible' side affects in their commercials, but nothing was said at that time.

My half sister also had very adverse affects from the medication. It was pretty bad there for both of us. We pretty much each stayed in our own rooms, ate by ourselves and were around each other as little as possible. Neither one of us was sure just what we would do.

Even the dogs were confused by our actions and would run back and forth 'checking on each of us. They were very relieved when our household finally got back to our normal routines.

I am glad you are going to see your doctor!!!! very important. Also good to hear you are still not smoking!

Love and hugs,
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Old 02-07-2013, 08:57 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by SparkleKitty View Post
Oh, Florence, I'm so sorry. I've been there. Sometimes I am not sure I am not a little bit always there.

You are already doing exactly what I would tell you to do - just acknowledge it. It's not a fun place to be, but -- and this is the really important part -- you absolutely will move out of that place.

You can have all the hugs I've got until you move on. ((((((((Florence))))))))
So much agreeing with SparkleKitty here! My sponsor has a saying, "This too shall pass!" And, really, it will, it will be a temporary phase and you will get past it. You know why? Because you've done it before and you're a strong woman with a great heart. I will be praying for you this week, sending you virtual cyber hugs, girl!
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Old 02-07-2013, 09:09 AM
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"Jerk brain" - what a great phrase, Florence! If this is real depression, and it sounds like it is, our physiology is off balance, and our feelings can get out of kilter, too. So don't take it too seriously, try to get in as much real sunlight as you can in case seasonal affect disorder is having an effect, and hopefully your doctor will see you soon.

Thinking of you,

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Old 02-07-2013, 09:13 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Florence, I just celebrated 7 years since I quit smoking in January.

I absolutely remember struggling with these depressive feelings shortly after quitting too.... I can't say for sure but I'm almost positive it was some time during the first 4-8 weeks. One of the reasons RAH has struggled to quit is because he already has issues with depression, so when the extra stress of quitting hits him, he lights up again every single time. (He has only been able to get it under control switching to a vapor e-cig which I still consider a 'win'.)

What you are going through is so normal, but it can't & won't last forever. HANG IN THERE, YOU CAN DO THIS!!!
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Old 02-07-2013, 09:39 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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I, too, tried Chantix and went off right away because of how it made me feel. It took a while to shake that negative feeling after too. I also tried wellbutrin and it didn't agree with me either. (anxiety, racing heart, nausea, nervousness).

The thing that worked best for me was the patches. Cold turkey made me and everyone around me on edge, to say the least.
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Old 02-07-2013, 09:53 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Not only did I get the very 'strange' dreams, not nightmares just strange, but I could feel my whole 'being' change. I was getting moody, depressed, angry and a whole lot more. At about 4 weeks on the medication I realized it might be the meds and I just 'stopped' taking it. Bad mistake. I was suppose to 'taper' but either way it would have taken as long as it did.

I continued to be all the above until about 10 weeks after the day I started taking it, where I finally started to feel like I wasn't walking around with this big black cloud over my head. I said never again.
This is exactly how it feels!

I quit using Zyban a few years ago and it was easy as pie. No issues at all, easy to quit, didn't miss it. I did have weird dreams, but that's all.

I started smoking again last year (like an idiot) when everything went downhill with AH. So this time I took Chantix and everything went haywire. I was able to quit smoking, but the side effects were wild.
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Old 02-07-2013, 10:00 AM
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I stopped 4 years ago with e-cigs. I had a very smooth transition. I've not had a regular cig since I first tried the electronic ones.
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Old 02-07-2013, 10:02 AM
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Since then, studies have reported that patients taking Chantix are at increased risk of depression and suicidal thoughts. Anecdotally, patients report wild dreams, inexplicable violent behavior and other psychological disturbances while on the drug.

Chantix Dangers Need Government Attention, Study Says - ABC News
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Old 02-07-2013, 01:10 PM
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Do some research on line and you will see that some folks after going on the Chantix have committed suicide and I can understand it, because one minute I would feel that way and then the next thing would be me wanting to commit homicide on someone. It is nasty stuff.

I think the getting the nicotine out of the system is only part of it, it is finding other things for the 'oral gratification' that smoking gave us. I found straws, yes drinking straws cut to the length of a cig helped a lot, sometimes I would just keep it clenched along one side of my mouth between the upper and lower teeth, lol

I also bought lots and lots of celery, and made lowfat Ranch Dressing to dip the celery sticks into and then crunch on. Again, oral gratification and no calories, lol

Keep going forward, the bad feelings will pass, but please be sure to tell your doctor exactly how you felt while on it. May make Dr think twice before prescribing it for someone else.

Love and hugs,
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Old 02-09-2013, 03:40 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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A quick update: I saw the doctor today and got a prescription for anti-depressants. She said her experience is that people who have experienced abuse suddenly have settled emotional business come back to life and have a difficult time getting back to normal after taking Chantix.

Anyway, I'm looking at 10-14 days before I start seeing improvement. I'm starting the countdown now!
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Old 02-09-2013, 05:41 PM
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All drugs have side effects. I hope you call the person who prescribed them and tell him/her how you feel. See what the side effects are on the internet (google the drug name). I had the experience with Wellbutrin that I became suicidal. I know it is also used to help people kick nicotine under a different name.
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Old 02-11-2013, 08:48 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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And another update: My AH and I have been getting along from a distance somewhat, but after I told him that I wasn't feeling great lately, he apparently decided to go for my weak spot.

He's still living with his parents, we are not legally separated, but we have lived apart for about five months. He was purportedly working a solid recovery program and we were discussing doing marital counseling. However, over the course of a couple of weeks, I have realized that he's not being as straight with me about his program as he could be. In particular, he's being evasive about whether or not he's in individual counseling (which came up as we discussed which counselor to use). This was a dealbreaker for me, because counseling was part of the treatment plan that he was supposed to be doing in order to monitor the BPD and alcoholism and medications. Regardless, what I realized is that while he had these last five months to get it together and tighten up his program, he just hasn't done it. I'm not convinced that he hasn't relapsed again. If not, just based on our interactions historically, I am afraid he's BUDding.

So after I told him I wasn't feeling good -- which was right about the time that I put these pieces together -- he started sending me text messages and voicemails that are alternately needy and/or hostile. He says he is showing compassion for my feelings, then is somehow able to make that compassion ultimately about himself and how nobody loves him. When I didn't respond quickly enough (Maybe I'm in bed! Maybe I'm busy! Maybe I am the exhausted single mother of two children!), he started getting angry and telling me "I Quit!" i.e. he quits trying to communicate with me because I'm so difficult and elusive. Instead of engaging with it, I've been setting my phone aside and doing other things.

I'm not totally sure why I'm sharing this, if not just to say that the antics never seem to end. And how sad I am that he's still incapable of really relating to me in a way that's real and authentic. He's purportedly two years into "recovery" with "only" "three" relapses and seems to be using his attempts to repair our relationship as occasions for manipulation and threats. It's also a reminder that if his recovery is not real, the facade will eventually crumble.

I'd go N/C except for the kids. In the meantime, sorry, pal, but I am absolutely ignoring this crap. I'm really trying to manage my life and clean up the messes I've made and I can't allow him to make his problems my problems too.
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Old 02-11-2013, 09:02 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Good for you Florence!!!!! Glad you have gotten the right medication for the smoking. And even more glad that you aren't falling for you RAH's white-knuckling and trying to suck you back onto that rollercoaster ride.

Keep on keeping on with what you need to do to be health. He'll either be there at the end, or he won't, as so many have told me "more will be revealed".

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