Something Has to Change
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6
Something Has to Change
Well even though I do not have a story that has lasted as long as most her on SR, I have reached a point where something needs to change.
In October my AW thought she had hit bottom and checked into rehab for one week. Even though the counselors recommended a full month, she told everyone she was on the right path and would not agree to anymore than 9 days. Unfortunately, her sober "path" only lasted about 45 days. Initially it was a little bit of cough syrup, then a "taste", then daily runs to get a "gatorade" or "gum", to coming home drunk last night.
I have not had a great week. Between setting up a date to take my ex-wife back to court and taking my son to the med center last night I could have exploded when I noticed she was drunk, but I didn't. I simply told her this morning that I wanted her to check into rehab again, go stay with her dad, but if she refused I would move into an empty bedroom upstairs and figure out a way to have her removed.
I have an appointment this morning with a counselor to let me know what our options are. She's a friend of the family and has mentioned some ideas before, so hopefully she can get us started down the right path. Whatever that may be. Praying for the best.
In October my AW thought she had hit bottom and checked into rehab for one week. Even though the counselors recommended a full month, she told everyone she was on the right path and would not agree to anymore than 9 days. Unfortunately, her sober "path" only lasted about 45 days. Initially it was a little bit of cough syrup, then a "taste", then daily runs to get a "gatorade" or "gum", to coming home drunk last night.
I have not had a great week. Between setting up a date to take my ex-wife back to court and taking my son to the med center last night I could have exploded when I noticed she was drunk, but I didn't. I simply told her this morning that I wanted her to check into rehab again, go stay with her dad, but if she refused I would move into an empty bedroom upstairs and figure out a way to have her removed.
I have an appointment this morning with a counselor to let me know what our options are. She's a friend of the family and has mentioned some ideas before, so hopefully she can get us started down the right path. Whatever that may be. Praying for the best.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
Wow - you seem level-headed and strong about your situation, I am impressed!
Sobriety isn't "not drinking". I thought at first that is what it meant. In the two years I've been living in this world, I've come to realize it means so much more than that. Your wife has a long way to go. Kudos to you for being realistic about it, and its effects on your life and your child.
Prayers,
~T
Sobriety isn't "not drinking". I thought at first that is what it meant. In the two years I've been living in this world, I've come to realize it means so much more than that. Your wife has a long way to go. Kudos to you for being realistic about it, and its effects on your life and your child.
Prayers,
~T
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
James, so sorry to hear about your situation. With an ex-wife to take back to court, a son needing medical care, and now a relapsing AW, you have way too much to cope with. You sound like you are on a very healthy path.
When people first come to SoberRecovery, they usually hear about the 3 C's - you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. And it is suggested that you read the "stickies" at the top of the Friends and Families main thread page - the collection of threads that have information useful to all of us. But you sound as if you're well beyond that.
How can we be supportive to you? Please let us know how your visit with the attorney goes.
ShootingStar1
When people first come to SoberRecovery, they usually hear about the 3 C's - you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. And it is suggested that you read the "stickies" at the top of the Friends and Families main thread page - the collection of threads that have information useful to all of us. But you sound as if you're well beyond that.
How can we be supportive to you? Please let us know how your visit with the attorney goes.
ShootingStar1
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 6
Originally Posted by ShootingStar1 
James, so sorry to hear about your situation. With an ex-wife to take back to court, a son needing medical care, and now a relapsing AW, you have way too much to cope with. You sound like you are on a very healthy path.
When people first come to SoberRecovery, they usually hear about the 3 C's - you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. And it is suggested that you read the "stickies" at the top of the Friends and Families main thread page - the collection of threads that have information useful to all of us. But you sound as if you're well beyond that.
How can we be supportive to you? Please let us know how your visit with the attorney goes.
ShootingStar1
When people first come to SoberRecovery, they usually hear about the 3 C's - you didn't cause it, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. And it is suggested that you read the "stickies" at the top of the Friends and Families main thread page - the collection of threads that have information useful to all of us. But you sound as if you're well beyond that.
How can we be supportive to you? Please let us know how your visit with the attorney goes.
ShootingStar1
I'm not sure how to answer the supportive question other than to say everyone's comments here have been great and so far have filled in all the blanks. I understand this may be a long journey, but in addition, I also know that at some point it may be better for my son and me to make a change in our course.
Right now I'm choosing to continue support my AW, yet I am also making sure we (my son and I) have everything ready and in order to break away smoothly; relatively speaking. I've let my AW know about my support here on SR and my preperations in case the boundaries I have set are crossed and she understands. Ready......Go
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