Creative ways to exit an argument with an Alcoholic
Member
Join Date: Nov 2011
Location: Real World
Posts: 729
Actually for those dealing with mr. Or mrs Hyde ...if they are truly changed when sober there is a lot of power in hearing it played back... Not with "Listen to what you said you b1tch/bassturd " but with "honey, I don't think u really understand how you change when drunk".
Hurts to even imagine dealing with the frustration I had with my ex plus physical fear... Thankfully, Poh was not usually a mean drunk when she was drinking... Sad, irrational, lost... Not mean.
Hurts to even imagine dealing with the frustration I had with my ex plus physical fear... Thankfully, Poh was not usually a mean drunk when she was drinking... Sad, irrational, lost... Not mean.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 26
I'm reading this with great interest.
My AH is a Jekyl and Hyde - lovely when he's sober but a devil when he's not. He tends to bottle things up as he doesn't really like confrontation, bickering or arguments when sober.
But the first few days he picks up that can/bottle/glass he lets it all out.
At first I would dig in my heels and argue right back if I thought what he said was wrong or unfair - which as you guys know isn't very productive, pointless and so draining.
Now when I feel him spoiling for an argument or he begins to touch subjects he knows full well we don't agree on, I leave the room, go out, find something to do or ignore him.
I have tried to keep cool and calmly challenge him with ' Hmm really? do you think so, please explain it again to me' or similar but he sees straight through it
We've had many vicious arguments, said some really bad things to each other (I'm to blame too as I sometimes use him starting it as an opportunity to vent at him) but in general he knows there's only so much I'll (repeatedly) listen to, be insulted with before I take myself off for a few days to our other flat in a different part of the city, I'm not his verbal punch bag and If I'm forced to do this - he knows there's no point trying to contact me or even go there because I won't answer him until A) I'm calm and B) I want to. So he mostly tends to refrain from the nasty stuff.
My AH is a Jekyl and Hyde - lovely when he's sober but a devil when he's not. He tends to bottle things up as he doesn't really like confrontation, bickering or arguments when sober.
But the first few days he picks up that can/bottle/glass he lets it all out.
At first I would dig in my heels and argue right back if I thought what he said was wrong or unfair - which as you guys know isn't very productive, pointless and so draining.
Now when I feel him spoiling for an argument or he begins to touch subjects he knows full well we don't agree on, I leave the room, go out, find something to do or ignore him.
I have tried to keep cool and calmly challenge him with ' Hmm really? do you think so, please explain it again to me' or similar but he sees straight through it
We've had many vicious arguments, said some really bad things to each other (I'm to blame too as I sometimes use him starting it as an opportunity to vent at him) but in general he knows there's only so much I'll (repeatedly) listen to, be insulted with before I take myself off for a few days to our other flat in a different part of the city, I'm not his verbal punch bag and If I'm forced to do this - he knows there's no point trying to contact me or even go there because I won't answer him until A) I'm calm and B) I want to. So he mostly tends to refrain from the nasty stuff.
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