I'm being nudged.... Perfect timing!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: OK
Posts: 26
I'm being nudged.... Perfect timing!
SR had a little note for me tonight that I hadn't posted in awhile and that I should drop a note and let everyone know how I'm doing!!
So, how am I doing? Not sure. But, here is a list of what I know..
1) I know I have been doing my best to detach, and frankly it scares me because I am enjoying some "me" time. Decided to work on losing a few pounds, going to the gym etc. Fitness trainers are right, excercise gives you more energy!! And that is driving AH nuts because I do not want to go to bed at 8:00 anymore, I have things to do and the energy to do it!!
2) I know he is not going to give up his 18 pack a day, ever!! He see's I am making changes and he says he is proud and says he should make some changes as well! He requested an electronic e-cig to try to give up cigars, he's still half and half. He has started taking a daily vitamin, asked for healthier dinners! Just can't and won't give up on that 18 pack a day!!
3) the guilt trips are being laid on thick!! I try very hard not to engage, but sometimes I just can't help it and I state my place. He doesn't get it that if I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of others!
4) because of #3, I know I don't want to take care of him anymore and I absolutely enjoy my gym time with my kids!!
5) I know that as I take care of myself more and more, I care less about him, and that part makes me sad. But I also know I can't fix him, I can only fix myself. And by golly, I'm doing that! This has also made his jealousy set in!
He won't join us in activities because "he works hard all day". He doesn't like being around alot of people etc... I have realized it really means "how am I going to meet my quota".
I know I am working on me and that's all I can do!
Sorry so long, but SR told me I hadn't posted in awhile!
So, how am I doing? Not sure. But, here is a list of what I know..
1) I know I have been doing my best to detach, and frankly it scares me because I am enjoying some "me" time. Decided to work on losing a few pounds, going to the gym etc. Fitness trainers are right, excercise gives you more energy!! And that is driving AH nuts because I do not want to go to bed at 8:00 anymore, I have things to do and the energy to do it!!
2) I know he is not going to give up his 18 pack a day, ever!! He see's I am making changes and he says he is proud and says he should make some changes as well! He requested an electronic e-cig to try to give up cigars, he's still half and half. He has started taking a daily vitamin, asked for healthier dinners! Just can't and won't give up on that 18 pack a day!!
3) the guilt trips are being laid on thick!! I try very hard not to engage, but sometimes I just can't help it and I state my place. He doesn't get it that if I don't take care of myself, I can't take care of others!
4) because of #3, I know I don't want to take care of him anymore and I absolutely enjoy my gym time with my kids!!
5) I know that as I take care of myself more and more, I care less about him, and that part makes me sad. But I also know I can't fix him, I can only fix myself. And by golly, I'm doing that! This has also made his jealousy set in!
He won't join us in activities because "he works hard all day". He doesn't like being around alot of people etc... I have realized it really means "how am I going to meet my quota".
I know I am working on me and that's all I can do!
Sorry so long, but SR told me I hadn't posted in awhile!
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