Please - need advice

Old 02-01-2013, 04:43 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Happy Birthday!

Hope you let her sit there.
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Old 02-01-2013, 04:50 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
I'm no angel!
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EX...E X P A N D on that premiss. Don't bail her and go no contact.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:39 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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I did not bail her out. Actually, i did not hear from her and have no idea if she is still in jail or not.
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Old 02-01-2013, 06:45 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Good that you didn't bail her out. Have been in that situation with my mom and I caved and did get her. That was over ten years ago and you have no idea how many times I wish I had gone the other way on that decision! Let yourself get off the merry-go-round of insanity.
Did this a couple weeks ago when mom got taken to the ER with a BAC of .336. Left her there and let her figure all of it out - turned off my phone and got on with my night. Was hard, but felt really REALLY good to finally just say NO.
Happy birthday! Do something nice for you today OK?
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Old 02-01-2013, 08:06 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Crazed View Post
I did not bail her out. Actually, i did not hear from her and have no idea if she is still in jail or not.
GOOD FOR YOU! That's a great step!!

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Old 02-01-2013, 08:32 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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I did not bail her out.
Good for you!!!!!

Now go do something nice for YOU today and have a GREAT BIRTHDAY!!!!!

Love and hugs,
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Old 02-01-2013, 09:58 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Good Job, Crazed.

I know it wasn't an easy decision, but it truly is the most healthy choice for BOTH of you at this time.

Continue on with your birthday, Peace......
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Old 02-01-2013, 10:46 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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A very very very HAPPY birthday to you!

You're on a healthy path, good way to start a new year.

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Old 02-01-2013, 11:48 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Leave her. I had the same choice to make with my husband. Once she hits bottom she might realize what a danger she is when drinking. Just be thankful the police found her before an ambulance had to find her or anyone else she could have hurt while drinking and driving. You bail her out, and she'll keep endangering everyone.
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Old 02-01-2013, 01:12 PM
  # 30 (permalink)  
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If she is your ex why should you bail her out?

Originally Posted by Crazed View Post
I received a call about 45 minutes ago from the sheriffs office. My EXAG got arrested today for DUI at 4 pm. $500 cash bond - she will be released after midnight. Cash is not an issue. But should I bail her out or leave her in? I am so not familiar with the legal system, I do not know what will happen to her. Apparently she blew a .311. If I bail her out I am afraid she will not hit bottom. If I do not bail her out, I am feeling like I am being a sh!t friend.

Please help - what am I supposed to do?
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Old 02-02-2013, 05:52 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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I spoke with her for 60 seconds- she begged me to bail her out. I told her i loved her, but would not. It was extremely difficult. Somebody else did. Her sponsor picked her up when she was released, late last night.

While it was the right thing to do, i feel terrible about it. She begged me for help, and i turned my back. I hope someday she will forgive me and understand.
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Old 02-02-2013, 06:45 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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It is not up for her to forgive you...your didn't turn your back. As a parent, there are times when we have to let our children learn consequences. If I hadn't smacked my daughter's hand when she tried to put keys in the electrical outlet, she'd have been electrocuted. If I hadn't let her make typical teenager mistakes; she wouldn't be a functioning adult. You are telling her to be responsible for herself, and there is not a [email protected]#* thing wrong with that. She should be asking your forgiveness; why didn't she just call the other guy? Why pull you in; suck you in like a siren? Because she doesn't care about your feelings or how it effects you. Crazed, please try to step out of the hero role. You did a wonderful thing by leaving her in there. You should feel so good about that. She was in a safe environment. Peace.
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Old 02-02-2013, 06:48 AM
  # 33 (permalink)  
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Not bailing her out was the more loving and selfless act. Bailing her out would have been easier on you emotionally and caused you less anguish. It's hard to break patterns of behavior. You did the right thing.
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