What Alcoholic did!
 

I was in a rut yesterday, I couldn't make it to a meeting so I called my sister and best friend, I explained to her how hurt I felt because my RXAH left the state to work somewhere else, she started to remind me of the horrible things he did to me, it did help to get out of my "Oh I miss him...he was such a great guy when not drinking illusion".
Few of the things she reminded me of are:
1. He got mad at me for cooking rice and put the bowl of cooked rice on my head.....I was so humiliated!!
2. He got angry at me one time and threw me out of the house, I did not have my shoes on and/or key to come back in...I was so emberrased the neighbors would see me.
3. One Thanksgiving I went to see a friend and took my children with me, on my way back home (just 2 hours later), he was so mad because I left that he threw all my dinner to the dog and we had no thanksgiving that day or any food, so I cried and cried, I called my sister who invited me and my children to her home.
4. The poor dog got sick after all the food (thanksgiving) it barked all night, first thing that morning (Friday after Txgiving), my then sober for 9 months AH shot the dog, I cried for months over that (he blamed me for it). Needless to say he got drunk later that day.
5. Xmas 2009, he was drunk, I was crying (normal holiday I should add), my friend and her husband came to visit to cheer me up. my AH, kick them out of the house telling them that they were not welcome and to get F**k out of his house.

I can go over and over with the horrible things he did (drunk or sober), no wonder my children left home as soon as they were able to.
Remembering the bad really help me get out of my rut...I count my blessings and realized that my H.P is doing for me what I cannot do for myself..

Those reminders are so difficult to face. So thankful for you that you have someone in your life that is able to remind you of what was REAL. I was still in the hiding his a$$h@$ishness from everyone. My friends; his friends; both of our families and I don't feel like I could even tell them now for they would wonder wth I was thinking.

He SHOT your dog?? Seriously? That's awful. That in itself is bad enough. Completely unacceptable. Keep reminding yourself of this and be glad he is far away from you. See his distance as a godsend.

ODAT ...what an A$$. Actually what a timely post. i made myself list all the bad in my relationship with XAGF last night to help me move away from my fantasy thinking. I honestly can say all holidays were bad...crying, drunkenness, etc. When I was 6 months pregnant with my twins, she said she was coming back for my birthday, she disappeared and went and got drunk with her sister. She was angry because the few Xmas gifts she bought were not what I'd asked for (close but importantly different...I wanted a kitchen CD player, she got a IPOD player and I don't own one!) so she returned all my gifts. She got pissed when my best friend brought the phone to my twins on their birthday so I could skype with them, and she started yelling and threatening her.

My God, I'm so sorry all that (and more) happened to you, your kids and the poor dog....
NO ONE should EVER be humiliated as you were.
I can't even think of anything else to say......

Christ! Good riddance.

Have you considered therapy? It has been a long time since you were divorced, might need some help in finally moving forward and letting him go, once and for all.

Sorry that you are still in turmoil over him.

He shot your dog........ I would've shot him.

He sounds extremely dangerous.

Amen.... but not in the head where it would be fast and painless... go for the stomache.

Funny how I could probably get past someone punching and kicking me but make one of my puppies cry and it's go time :-)

Sounds like you are fortunate to be away from this person. Sounds like a matter of time before he harms someone.

Rather than shooting him in the head or the stomach, I'd go for the balls. My apologies to all you guys out there who grimace at the thought, but people like that shouldn't be allowed to procreate.

Ouch!!

Though I tend to agree with your statement - in some circumstances.

LOL... Audrey... I was assuming those would have been cut off and fed to a dog in front of him a few days prior to the gut shot. Wow... I need to tell my therapist I have a really ugly streak when kids or animals are hurt ;-)

Gosh that is just awful.
Missing him is just your fantasy of him & thinking of the reality I feel is good for you at present.
Bigs hugs to you.
:ghug3

A-MEN! All the other humiliation aside, anyone that would do that to a defenseless animal doesn't deserve to be around you, your kids, or any other decent human being!
And I am with everyone - make me cry, I'll get over it. Touch my furbabies and like Achmed the dead terrorist says, "I will keeeeel you!"

That was probably 12 years ago, since then he got a blue heeler, he said she (the dog) is everything to him. He loves that dog, now he had to moved could not take her, I am sure he is missing her.
But yes, is amazing how I forget the bad things, my therapist tells me I need to move on and write down the awful things he did and read them every time I "miss him".
Thank you all for the kind words.

I actually laughed out loud at this one!!! :) And agree 150%!!!!

My favorite sobriety blogger posted a quote from an AA speaker recently: "It's not that I am a slow learner. It's that I'm a fast forgetter." That was in the context of forgetting, each time he drinks, how it's going to wind up, and believing each time that THIS time it will be different.

Seems like it applies to a lot of us, too.

Oh friend of Poh... you and me are kindred spirits here :) No way could I ever be a social worker or an animal cop - I would wind up behind bars!

Seriously though. It takes a special kind of a$$hole to hurt something defenseless. Hope things get better soon!

:c011:
Actually, I thought basically the same thing, decided to keep my big mouth shut...I know, I know...a once in a lifetime occasion!