Very Strict Drinking Hours ~ Common?
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Very Strict Drinking Hours ~ Common?
This may be covered somewhere else and I just haven't seen it yet. Is it common for someone to only, ever drink during a very short and specific time... no matter what the total amount consumed is? Say 10pm - midnight, or 11pm - 1am, but not any drinking during the day and only on rare occasions in the evening?
This doesn't seem to fit into any regular category like daily social drinking, binge drinking or even heavy drinking, but when it's every day and sometimes 16oz or more of hard liquor at a sitting it just seems excessive and unhealthy. There's almost a ritual to the way it plays out, like things are being mentally marked off a check list and when all those things are done it's time to drink. Could that be a way to just trying to keep control of it?
Can you be physically addicted and still only drink all at one sitting late at night?
This doesn't seem to fit into any regular category like daily social drinking, binge drinking or even heavy drinking, but when it's every day and sometimes 16oz or more of hard liquor at a sitting it just seems excessive and unhealthy. There's almost a ritual to the way it plays out, like things are being mentally marked off a check list and when all those things are done it's time to drink. Could that be a way to just trying to keep control of it?
Can you be physically addicted and still only drink all at one sitting late at night?
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My mother, the main alcoholic in my life,has been drinking for 66+ years, started out drinking after 5pm till? Then, it was 3pm till? Then 12pm till? Now, it's lets pour me a drinky with my breakfast, and drink till?
This is a progressive disease, left untreated, it will get worse. And yes, I believe that they think they can then say "I am not an alcoholic, I only drink between 3 & 5"...wrong...my
mother has a theory that if one doesn't drink for 12 hours they are not an alcoholic..LOL
This is a progressive disease, left untreated, it will get worse. And yes, I believe that they think they can then say "I am not an alcoholic, I only drink between 3 & 5"...wrong...my
mother has a theory that if one doesn't drink for 12 hours they are not an alcoholic..LOL
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Why yes you could. Could be white knuckling it the other waking hours.
I guess you could call it "control" I call it rationalizing. These ploys are common amongst alcohlics - like switching drink of choice to less high alcohol, only drinking on the weekends, etc. Perhaps the person is trying to prove to themselves that they gotta handle on it- I think more often than not it is to "prove" to their SO or family that they "don't have a problem".
I would consider drinking 16 ounces or more of liquor in a 1 to 2 hour sitting binge drinking.
I guess you could call it "control" I call it rationalizing. These ploys are common amongst alcohlics - like switching drink of choice to less high alcohol, only drinking on the weekends, etc. Perhaps the person is trying to prove to themselves that they gotta handle on it- I think more often than not it is to "prove" to their SO or family that they "don't have a problem".
I would consider drinking 16 ounces or more of liquor in a 1 to 2 hour sitting binge drinking.
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Thanks. I've been concerned for some time that he can't just stop at will--whether it's physical, psychological or both--though he does seem to have a pretty tight grip on it. We don't travel much together, but when we do, we always have to make provision for the night drinks. And this has been going on at least 8 years.
I've noticed some other things that sort of clued me in to a problem existing as well. We can't keep a normal liquor cabinet like I used to because it just all ends up gone--even the ones bought especially for me that he says he really doesn't like. And if severe weather is coming we have to get a "storm stash."
And, of course, if we're low, especially on a Saturday night (no liquor sales on Sunday) he will come up with some reason to go to the grocery store even if I just went the day before and the pantry and fridge are stocked with food.
I really wish I knew what showed up on his last round of bloodwork that made the doc start talking to him about alcohol. Or maybe I don't.
I've noticed some other things that sort of clued me in to a problem existing as well. We can't keep a normal liquor cabinet like I used to because it just all ends up gone--even the ones bought especially for me that he says he really doesn't like. And if severe weather is coming we have to get a "storm stash."
And, of course, if we're low, especially on a Saturday night (no liquor sales on Sunday) he will come up with some reason to go to the grocery store even if I just went the day before and the pantry and fridge are stocked with food.
I really wish I knew what showed up on his last round of bloodwork that made the doc start talking to him about alcohol. Or maybe I don't.
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my xabf was the same way...got off work at 245 and drank until he passed out....every work night - functioning alcoholic; but sadly nonfuctioning isn't too far off for him. He was spiraling while we were together. I'm glad to be free of the chaos.
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My AW usually starts around dinner time (6ish) and is done and has "fallen asleep" by 8:30-9:00. But its all out drinking during that time, up to two bottles of wine in less than three hours. Sometimes its earlier if we go out for a bite. Never during the day and never drives. But it is progressive so we shall see what the next chapter brings.
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Originally Posted by EnnuiStasis 
I've noticed some other things that sort of clued me in to a problem existing as well. We can't keep a normal liquor cabinet like I used to because it just all ends up gone--even the ones bought especially for me that he says he really doesn't like.
But, with the increased drinking has come a lack of want to socialize, so we don't have many people over as much anymore. Sadly.
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Originally Posted by EnnuiStasis
Thanks. I've been concerned for some time that he can't just stop at will--whether it's physical, psychological or both--though he does seem to have a pretty tight grip on it. We don't travel much together, but when we do, we always have to make provision for the night drinks. And this has been going on at least 8 years.
I've noticed some other things that sort of clued me in to a problem existing as well. We can't keep a normal liquor cabinet like I used to because it just all ends up gone--even the ones bought especially for me that he says he really doesn't like. And if severe weather is coming we have to get a "storm stash."
And, of course, if we're low, especially on a Saturday night (no liquor sales on Sunday) he will come up with some reason to go to the grocery store even if I just went the day before and the pantry and fridge are stocked with food.
I really wish I knew what showed up on his last round of bloodwork that made the doc start talking to him about alcohol. Or maybe I don't.
I've noticed some other things that sort of clued me in to a problem existing as well. We can't keep a normal liquor cabinet like I used to because it just all ends up gone--even the ones bought especially for me that he says he really doesn't like. And if severe weather is coming we have to get a "storm stash."
And, of course, if we're low, especially on a Saturday night (no liquor sales on Sunday) he will come up with some reason to go to the grocery store even if I just went the day before and the pantry and fridge are stocked with food.
I really wish I knew what showed up on his last round of bloodwork that made the doc start talking to him about alcohol. Or maybe I don't.
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Before we lived together, my EXAG would drink beer - 118lbs could do 12-15 in a day. Then she switched to wine. Then on to plastic bottle cheap rot-gut Vodka. She is a professional at work, would teach aerobics during lunch, start drinking at 6 when she got home, pass out, wake up at around 9:30pm, drink more until she fell asleep, then wake up and repeat the following day. And could still excel at work. So I can vouch for the progressive aspect.
What is odd is that she would never drink any liquor we had in the house. I am a fan of bourbon, and generally have a bottle. She will not touch it. For her, it is now Vodka only- and (starting in 2012) Nyquill.
I guess the point is that alcoholics come in all forms.
Every day, 16 oz in a sitting, I would consider to be alcoholic. Regarding physical addiction- for my EXAG, I did NOT believe there was ever a PHYSICAL addiction. I have always viewed it as a mental addiction. My view on this changed last week after her 5 day bender. The day after her shaking was pretty bad, which to me indicates a physical addiction/withdrawal. It only lasted a day, but it was not pretty.
What is odd is that she would never drink any liquor we had in the house. I am a fan of bourbon, and generally have a bottle. She will not touch it. For her, it is now Vodka only- and (starting in 2012) Nyquill.
I guess the point is that alcoholics come in all forms.
Every day, 16 oz in a sitting, I would consider to be alcoholic. Regarding physical addiction- for my EXAG, I did NOT believe there was ever a PHYSICAL addiction. I have always viewed it as a mental addiction. My view on this changed last week after her 5 day bender. The day after her shaking was pretty bad, which to me indicates a physical addiction/withdrawal. It only lasted a day, but it was not pretty.
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Originally Posted by CentralOhioDad
This is what really pisses me off! When she gets 'bored' or whatever with her rot-gut vodka, she will hit the nice gin I keep for guests, or my single-malt scotch! So, now I don't buy anything good for guests unless I know for sure that they will be coming over.
But, with the increased drinking has come a lack of want to socialize, so we don't have many people over as much anymore. Sadly.
But, with the increased drinking has come a lack of want to socialize, so we don't have many people over as much anymore. Sadly.
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I would venture to guess from your posts that he is drinking more than you think, that it's not as "controlled" to certain hours as you think. That being said, the A will often find ways to "manage" their drinking...or so they think. It can't last forever. The disease is progressive, and without treatment will eventually take over.
I hope you find an AlAnon meeting near you, and start to educate yourself. Post here, there is alot of support and wisdom on this site. You can't do anything about his drinking, but you can take care of your own health.
I hope you find an AlAnon meeting near you, and start to educate yourself. Post here, there is alot of support and wisdom on this site. You can't do anything about his drinking, but you can take care of your own health.
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I disagree that they are necessarily "controlling it" (or trying to control it) just to pull the wool over the eyes of the partner. I lived all alone and had my rules and conventions. The only one I was trying to prove anything to was myself. I didn't WANT to be an alcoholic, dammit. And I was sure if I just kept trying hard enough I would get a handle on it.
Well, we all know what handled whom. Anyway, the point is that even if there is an element of trying to conceal the amount they are drinking (not uncommon and I did that when I lived with someone) it is at least equally the case that we really, REALLY don't want to be alcoholics. Not enough to quit, maybe, not just yet, but enough to try for a very long time not to be.
Well, we all know what handled whom. Anyway, the point is that even if there is an element of trying to conceal the amount they are drinking (not uncommon and I did that when I lived with someone) it is at least equally the case that we really, REALLY don't want to be alcoholics. Not enough to quit, maybe, not just yet, but enough to try for a very long time not to be.
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Originally Posted by LexieCat
I disagree that they are necessarily "controlling it" (or trying to control it) just to pull the wool over the eyes of the partner. I lived all alone and had my rules and conventions. The only one I was trying to prove anything to was myself. I didn't WANT to be an alcoholic, dammit. And I was sure if I just kept trying hard enough I would get a handle on it.
Well, we all know what handled whom. Anyway, the point is that even if there is an element of trying to conceal the amount they are drinking (not uncommon and I did that when I lived with someone) it is at least equally the case that we really, REALLY don't want to be alcoholics. Not enough to quit, maybe, not just yet, but enough to try for a very long time not to be.
Well, we all know what handled whom. Anyway, the point is that even if there is an element of trying to conceal the amount they are drinking (not uncommon and I did that when I lived with someone) it is at least equally the case that we really, REALLY don't want to be alcoholics. Not enough to quit, maybe, not just yet, but enough to try for a very long time not to be.
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Back when my boyfriend was still drinking and when I really didn't understand alcoholism, he would "act normal" during family vacations and get-togethers. Act normal = having a beer or two with dinner like "normal people" do. Then, as soon as the other people left, or we got back home, and it was just us two, he would binge. I used to get mad at him because I was naively thinking, "okay, you're not an alcoholic because you're not drinking (or drunk) 24/7, so quit acting like one from time to time". My idea of an alcoholic was, at the time, one who drank every day, like my great-grandfather. Even now when my mom talks about my great-grandfather, who she herself never met because he died before she was born, she'll say, "oh, he was the kind of alcoholic who drank every day". Every alcoholic will eventually end up drinking every day though, unless they quit and stay sober, because alcoholism is progressive.
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I would drink from 5:30pm till 10p-11p-12/midnight or when I passed out. My thoughts were that I owed it to myself. I work hard all day at the office, get dinner on the table for the kids/family, complete house work while chugging beers, put kids to bed and continued till sufficiently soused. I'm glad those days are over. I never would drink during the day. I think it's called a functional alcoholic. Whatever! I am so happy those days are over.
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Originally Posted by akberry
I would drink from 5:30pm till 10p-11p-12/midnight or when I passed out. My thoughts were that I owed it to myself. I work hard all day at the office, get dinner on the table for the kids/family, complete house work while chugging beers, put kids to bed and continued till sufficiently soused. I'm glad those days are over. I never would drink during the day. I think it's called a functional alcoholic. Whatever! I am so happy those days are over.
But the 5pm thing didn't last long. The progressive part of the disease others have mentioned started to rear its ugly head and he was drinking earlier and earlier and finishing later and later, until there was not much of a gap between finishing and starting. Unlike a few of the people who have commented on this site, the difference with him was he never really passed out from drinking. If he fell asleep after drinking he was a dead weight, but he never seemed to fall asleep because of drinking. If anything, it seemed to wake him up. He just had the stamina to keep going on and on and on, and often had long benders with a friend or two where they basically didn't sleep... just drank. I never allowed this to happen in my company, but I found some awful photos from one of those benders on his computer with just him and his dodgy mate surrounded by empty bottles and chip packets, their pants falling down, drunken smudged faces... It was disgusting. My partner saw me looking at them in horror, and snatched the laptop away in embarrassment. Complete turn off... but this was at the beginning of our relationship when we didn't live together so I just wrote it off as a once off. Pfft!
Meanwhile, I had been at my place also not sleeping. But I had been working through the nights to meet a tight deadline on a big project I was working on, not boozing away for no reason. The dodgy mate's lovely wife and kids were at home tearing their hair out as they had no idea where he had disappeared to for three days.
Losing days, weeks, years of your life in a drunken stupor like that is inconceivable to me.
I'm glad his days of doing that are over too.
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As far as the doc I will bet it was his liver enzymes being out of whack that tweaked the doc.
When Poh's problem first became known to me we had gone away for the weekend and she had not had 'enough' vodka and had the shakes and seemed quite ill. I took her to an urgent care place and they ran some tests. When they came in the doc asked her if she wanted me to step out but she said no, he needs to hear this. He told her she was in withdrawal from alcohol and her liver enzymes suggested she had a severe problem. She knew it and hadn't told me but was ready to open up. It was a few weeks later that she tried to quit on her own and nearly died from a heart attack and seizure.
When I got to the hospital and saw her beautiful face all swollen and bruised from the seizure she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said "I'm Sowwy"... she had almost bitten her tongue off. I think ...nah, I know that's when I decided that if there was any way I could help her get better I would.
Ennui - in your first post I was wondering if he was an alcoholic... 8 years of a pattern that hasn't progressed and wasn't causing 'other' problems in his life...
...then there was your next post, lol. Sounded like maybe I've heard that 387 other times around here and at my wife's AA meetings :-)
Wife and I are now to the point where we can joke about the crazy **** that active alcoholics do. Her 'slip' back in september was when she found my bourbon that I'd hidden.... now, she doesn't like bourbon AT ALL, like any good alcoholic, her preferred poison was cheap vodka. We were laughing about the absurdity of it a couple weeks ago and I griped that nasty lemon flavored $10 for the big bottle vodka can be swilled but for the love of God... don't chug 18 year old single barrel bourbon, especially when it's mine! ;-)
When any type of drink will do that is worrisome. About the only thing that my wife is not tempted by is beer. I asked her if it was the taste or the smell that bothered her and she just rolled her eyes and laughed. Her objection? It would take a 12 pack to get the same buzz she could get from turning that vodka bottle upside down and downing 12 ounces. Beer just wasn't efficient enough to be interesting.
When Poh's problem first became known to me we had gone away for the weekend and she had not had 'enough' vodka and had the shakes and seemed quite ill. I took her to an urgent care place and they ran some tests. When they came in the doc asked her if she wanted me to step out but she said no, he needs to hear this. He told her she was in withdrawal from alcohol and her liver enzymes suggested she had a severe problem. She knew it and hadn't told me but was ready to open up. It was a few weeks later that she tried to quit on her own and nearly died from a heart attack and seizure.
When I got to the hospital and saw her beautiful face all swollen and bruised from the seizure she looked up at me with tears in her eyes and said "I'm Sowwy"... she had almost bitten her tongue off. I think ...nah, I know that's when I decided that if there was any way I could help her get better I would.
Ennui - in your first post I was wondering if he was an alcoholic... 8 years of a pattern that hasn't progressed and wasn't causing 'other' problems in his life...
...then there was your next post, lol. Sounded like maybe I've heard that 387 other times around here and at my wife's AA meetings :-)
Wife and I are now to the point where we can joke about the crazy **** that active alcoholics do. Her 'slip' back in september was when she found my bourbon that I'd hidden.... now, she doesn't like bourbon AT ALL, like any good alcoholic, her preferred poison was cheap vodka. We were laughing about the absurdity of it a couple weeks ago and I griped that nasty lemon flavored $10 for the big bottle vodka can be swilled but for the love of God... don't chug 18 year old single barrel bourbon, especially when it's mine! ;-)
When any type of drink will do that is worrisome. About the only thing that my wife is not tempted by is beer. I asked her if it was the taste or the smell that bothered her and she just rolled her eyes and laughed. Her objection? It would take a 12 pack to get the same buzz she could get from turning that vodka bottle upside down and downing 12 ounces. Beer just wasn't efficient enough to be interesting.
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Originally Posted by PohsFriend
When any type of drink will do that is worrisome. About the only thing that my wife is not tempted by is beer. I asked her if it was the taste or the smell that bothered her and she just rolled her eyes and laughed. Her objection? It would take a 12 pack to get the same buzz she could get from turning that vodka bottle upside down and downing 12 ounces. Beer just wasn't efficient enough to be interesting.
What A's think we are so stupid is beyond me.
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