How to handle the threats
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 166
How to handle the threats
Well, I recieved word this morning (via the sitter who is friends with both of us) that if i proceed with trying to get a restraining order, she is going to "ruin me". She then detailed for her she would call my job and Military and tell them I smoke pot (I don't so no concern there), she would call CPS and tell them I smoke pot in front of my kids (her best friend did this to me last year and I was cleared of all allegations so I know I can handle this if needed) and she would report me for writing her prescriptions, which as a NP I am legally able to do, BUT she could get me in some trouble here. How do I control my hurt and anger? I know you think this is just quacking, but I know it isn't. I do believe as time goes on, she is going to get more desperate and more crazy....and it is directed at me.
Also, should I get a lawyer for family court? They tell you that you don't need one but alot of my friends (and the lawyers I've spoken to...of course!) recommend I get one to get this situation squashed immediately. I hate the thought of spending >$1000 to deal with this BS.
Also, should I get a lawyer for family court? They tell you that you don't need one but alot of my friends (and the lawyers I've spoken to...of course!) recommend I get one to get this situation squashed immediately. I hate the thought of spending >$1000 to deal with this BS.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
Well Patty - this isn't ******** this is someone who now says they are going to "ruin" you. I would say it would be the best 1k you ever spent.
Could be quacking - maybe not. Intimidation and threats - bring it on. You either cave or........bring a bomb to a knife fight. I'd hire the best lawyer in town and end the madness.
Could be quacking - maybe not. Intimidation and threats - bring it on. You either cave or........bring a bomb to a knife fight. I'd hire the best lawyer in town and end the madness.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Get the lawyer. While you're at it, get the birth certificate changed.
I found it to be well worth the money spent simply to have the lawyer as a buffer between me and my ex (who was also making threatening noises).
The lawyer can send an official letter advising her that any communications must be directed to him or her, that you do not wish to be contacted directly and will consider any such contacts to be harassment. If she continues to contact you in the face of that you may have a basis for a restraining order, which could result in her arrest if she violates its terms.
I agree, some things are worth spending the money on. This is one of them.
I found it to be well worth the money spent simply to have the lawyer as a buffer between me and my ex (who was also making threatening noises).
The lawyer can send an official letter advising her that any communications must be directed to him or her, that you do not wish to be contacted directly and will consider any such contacts to be harassment. If she continues to contact you in the face of that you may have a basis for a restraining order, which could result in her arrest if she violates its terms.
I agree, some things are worth spending the money on. This is one of them.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Posts: 166
How do I figure out who is a good lawyer? I have asked every one I know but have yet to get a name. I have been in contact with someone since my son was born. He said he would represent me for $1000. That is family court only. Not the birth certificate.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
I think any competent family court practitioner should be able to help you. You could call your local DV organization and ask if they can recommend someone. The local bar association keeps a list, so that's another source. You don't need someone high-powered.
Is there a reason you hesitate to use the person you know? I'd get clarification (a retainer agreement in writing) as to the fee schedule. Some lawyers do charge a flat fee, but it needs to be spelled out what is included in that. Most charge by the hour, with a retainer up front and the fees are deducted from that until it is gone but then you will still be charged by the hour.
Is there a reason you hesitate to use the person you know? I'd get clarification (a retainer agreement in writing) as to the fee schedule. Some lawyers do charge a flat fee, but it needs to be spelled out what is included in that. Most charge by the hour, with a retainer up front and the fees are deducted from that until it is gone but then you will still be charged by the hour.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: atlanta, ga
Posts: 3,581
You could call the local bar association for a recommendation.......if it were me I would go straight to the source. I would probably go the clerks office at your local courthouse and ask around for the best family lawyer. You probably won't get that information from a phone call but people are more likely to in person.
I am sure Lexie has some good advice on the subject.
I am sure Lexie has some good advice on the subject.
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 222
Military referral? My nephew had to get a lawyer and found him through the military. Also, smoking pot - whether you are or are not; a lawyer would be able to make this inadmissible (I know this from experience with my xh, in my state). Also, if you wrote her prescriptions for things that she didn't need; that will be an issue - be upfront with your lawyer - it is the only way they can protect you.
If it were me, I would ditch the babysitter - she is helping stir the pot. She should be able to be friends with both of you without being in the middle. She seems to like the drama. There shouldn't be a 3rd party 'passing on information'. Set up some boundries - remember the babysitting 'friend' could be used as a character witness against/for you.
If it were me, I would ditch the babysitter - she is helping stir the pot. She should be able to be friends with both of you without being in the middle. She seems to like the drama. There shouldn't be a 3rd party 'passing on information'. Set up some boundries - remember the babysitting 'friend' could be used as a character witness against/for you.
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Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 1,754
Get a lawyer.
Remain no contact.
Restraining order.
Too much drama, let her flap her mouth, do not engage.
Have your lawyer deal with her.
And tell your friends discussion about her is off limits.
It's enough honey. xo
Remain no contact.
Restraining order.
Too much drama, let her flap her mouth, do not engage.
Have your lawyer deal with her.
And tell your friends discussion about her is off limits.
It's enough honey. xo
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