IAM

I've noticed in a few of the threads kinda mentions how much their A's are spending on alcohol, drugs etc. It's got to be an obsession with me on how much my A is waisting. I figure we could have maybe a nice boat or a camper or a vacation every year, just so much we could have if she didn't drink. She says I'm to tight with our money. Do any of you let this get to you as much as it does me?

smoke gets in my eyes

Absolutely. Only Dino was into crack so we're talking about a house, not a camper.

Alison961

When my almost ex AH went our own ways financially, I was shocked at how much better off I was. He made over 5 times more than what I made and we both thought he was helping out me and the kids by giving me his check while I paid both his bills and mine with both our incomes. Well, the time came to cut the financial strings and whoooopeeeee! Along with his alcoholism, he is a chronic spender. Even with both our incomes, I was struggling to pay all the bills. Now, I'm only on my measly income and the kids and I always come out in the black. Amazing.

Tink

My (a) spends his money on his doc which is meth, but since he lost his job he can not really help with anything, and I am now seeing how much it is effecting me financially, his car is in my name, so he does not seem to care that the car payment that is being missed is effecting my credit. I did realize that thru all of this if the car was gone I would be okay financially regardless. All the wasting of money on groceries, that get thrown out because he can not eat. and all the money that is spent foolishly on gas, to just drive around, on beer or alcohol, or drugs, or all the change that is being spent to get alcohol or drugs. THis would not be happening. It is not about the finances for me, I really love this man, and found out that I do not stay for financial reasons. Because I could make it on my own, and it would not be that hard, at least if I was struggling it would be my own bills, and messes that I was struggling with, sometimes dont you just want to hit them with a stick and say wake up !!!!!!!!!!

thiswebs4u

Hey, The only money going out in this family was for alcohol. I have it guessed at $20 to $30 a day. Now to get sober that is a different story. First outpatient was free. Second inpatient was around $2000 insurance paid part, 30 days later my SO flunked here breath test so in is 90 day inpatient. Since this is the third program in a year it is $20,000. Lucky for me I had money in the bank or I would be getting a loan. If all goes well, and my SO is fixed it will take about three years to catch-up if the daily alcohol is not bought. She has made it for 11 months before so I know she can do it. It will be her Nursing license next time she blows it. She should be out May 11th. Oh what fun it is riding on the coat tails of this disease. Sorry just had to vent.

gemini rebel

It bothered me a great deal......specially when checks were bouncing because he wasn't giving me those atm receipts. My solution was to get my own checking account and decide who would be responsible for which bills. He makes more than I do so he pays the house and HIS truck payment as well as the insurance bills and I handle the the utilities and my truck payment. Sounds crazy but it works for my sanity.