Letting Go is Difficult
 

I found this great quote in the website Tiny Buddha:
I realized the other day that I am making myself utterly depressed by holding on to my past relationship. Every time it pops into my head I am trying to tell myself "Time to Move On."

Whatever he is doing or saying now, or whoever he is with, it's none of my business. I need to stop caring about someone who clearly does not care about me anymore. I need to let go of all the toxic shame, guilt and verbal abuse he dumped on me. And most of all I just need to let go of the pain and the regrets for hanging in there so long.

I am not giving all my power away to the people that hurt me.

I think yesterday was the first day I did not cry in months -- I must be making progress!

Thank You for that, I needed this also today. It is very cold here today, and I am using my wood stove. (Was actually afraid of that stove because I never used one before, lol)

Anyway, this week I got out all of my journals that I had kept from when I was married, and I am burning them!!!!!!!! I am out!!!!, and I don't ever want to go back there again !!!!!!!!

I am reading a book on letting go and detachment. The mantra they recommend is "don't go there".

Short and to the point.

Your friend,

Mike,
Thank you, I like that one too! What is the book you're reading?

I've decided to let go of a childhood friend who drinks heavily and smokes pot. We've been friends for 40 years. He also started recently to get very mean. Life is too short to hang around with negative and destructive people.

I agree, it especially hurts when you're in love with one... :-/

Ziggy, it's "Let Go Now: Embracing Detachment by Karen Casey ". Kind of a daily reader type of book. So far I like it a lot.

Your friend,

I think the best one I heard lately was "Let go... or be dragged".

That's hard to do but the older I get the more I realize that when I am holding on too tightly it is usually an illusion that I am holding on to, not the reality.

Or, as Billy Shakespeare said: Tis better to have loved and lost than to remain stuck with that a-hole for the rest of my life...

I also recommend this book! Thanks for sharing, Mike.

Hey, Ziggy,

As so many times before, just what I needed today. I am also emotionally holding on to my X. I no longer have anger towards him, I know he just doesn't have it to give, and yet, I keep wanting the illusion of "happy ever after" with him.

That's sure to stop ME from being happy ever after. I also do a lot of Buddhist reading and try to actually use some of what I read.

Thanks for your thoughts. Good luck letting go, may we all be able to detach with love and self love.

Poh-loved the quote "let go or be dragged" :)

Indeed.
I hadn't realized how much hope I was holding on to until I saw the photos of the new gf. After all of the devastatingly cruel things he said to me, it isn't like I would want him back anyway. I just need to get on with the business of healing and finding my own happiness...

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Hi Ziggy
What I find really helpful is to just focus on the present.
Forget the past, forget the future & work on one day at a time.
I recently had some bad news & got stressed & starting thinking about my past & my future & I had to really work to bring myself back to the present. When I did I wasn't stressed anymore & could once again focus on the current day.

Have you read the book :The Journey from Abandonment to healing - Susan Anderson?
I am half way through it & it is a good read. Also goes into the physical aspects & your bodys reactions to abandonment, stress etc & explains a lot of why we end up feeling the way we do.
Hugs as always,
:ghug3

Rosie,
Thanks I do actually have that book and was reading it recently, makes a lot of sense to me. I definitely feel like I'm getting to the "lifting" stage I just need to stop looking him up on the internet and what not, that brings back all of the pain a hundred fold.

Technology today is a pain.
You'll get there.
One day at a time my friend.

ZiggyB -when I find out how to detatch, I will let you know. Not coming easy for me...

For real...
He was reading my Twitter feed for awhile until I set it to private and now I'm looking at his crap. There's too many ways to find out information on people these days and I just look forward to the day when I truly don't give a hoot.

Mike,
Thank you so much for recommending the "Embracing Detachment" book. I downloaded it to my Kindle and have been reading it. It's been a blessed relief in helping me unravel my head!

Thank you