Maybe I am the crazy one... lol
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Originally Posted by hydrogirl 
Oh, Ziggy; I'm sorry! I know this bothers you. If it were me, I would stay as far away from his website and anything else to do with him. I mean, if it bothers you to run into him at lunch and and before and after work....please don't go looking at his website!
How is the change in routine working out for you, by the way? Has it helped?
How is the change in routine working out for you, by the way? Has it helped?
Zig - you've been wearing yourself out because he won't get out of your life, now is the chance to get some distance.
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So unlike most things in life, I know a little bit about Internet privacy rights....
First part is opinion: I soooooooo woulda had the long explanation too, that whole fear of offending thing. Poh would have told me "Honey, all you had to say was 'please remove those images', you made it into a big deal.". She would have had a good point.
Second part is fact: if it's a third party site like a social media site just take a screenshot of the images, write the site owner and inform them that you want them removed and that the page creator refused to do it. If it his personal site then someone us hosting it and they can do the same thing.
Now here's the thing.... Unless it shows up in Google searches then you are better off leaving it alone - you described him as having some cruel narcissistic traits and informing him that something hurt you is like drawing a map to your ouchie with an arrow that says 'pour salt here'. Might want to try that rubber band snap thing on your wrist to remind yourself not to feed the energy creature! If you force him to take them down they could go right back up on a foreign server with far less pleasant context.
Don't just do something... Stand there! Is a great tool that I'm getting handy with, this may be a time to try it out.
Hacking the site and other revenge thoughts kinda just keeps you idling on unhappy thoughts and if you did it then he would escalate.
Time to reverse that, not feed it in my unasked for opinion. Take care of you, it's the weekend... Happy thoughts and scrape this f--ER off your shoe :-)
First part is opinion: I soooooooo woulda had the long explanation too, that whole fear of offending thing. Poh would have told me "Honey, all you had to say was 'please remove those images', you made it into a big deal.". She would have had a good point.
Second part is fact: if it's a third party site like a social media site just take a screenshot of the images, write the site owner and inform them that you want them removed and that the page creator refused to do it. If it his personal site then someone us hosting it and they can do the same thing.
Now here's the thing.... Unless it shows up in Google searches then you are better off leaving it alone - you described him as having some cruel narcissistic traits and informing him that something hurt you is like drawing a map to your ouchie with an arrow that says 'pour salt here'. Might want to try that rubber band snap thing on your wrist to remind yourself not to feed the energy creature! If you force him to take them down they could go right back up on a foreign server with far less pleasant context.
Don't just do something... Stand there! Is a great tool that I'm getting handy with, this may be a time to try it out.
Hacking the site and other revenge thoughts kinda just keeps you idling on unhappy thoughts and if you did it then he would escalate.
Time to reverse that, not feed it in my unasked for opinion. Take care of you, it's the weekend... Happy thoughts and scrape this f--ER off your shoe :-)
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Join Date: Jul 2012
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Hi Poh,
Thanks for your thoughts. I really do not want to turn it into a revenge thing, I am just going to try not looking at his site anymore. Just makes me incredibly mad that he even has all of these lovey dovey pics of us up there after all of the cruel and abusive things he has said to me.
It is a third party site so I did write them to see if there was anything I could do... I am going to let it go I think and not go there anymore. You are right that I could see him doing something really deranged. How else can I heal... this whole thing has been a huge ordeal for me.
Thanks for your thoughts. I really do not want to turn it into a revenge thing, I am just going to try not looking at his site anymore. Just makes me incredibly mad that he even has all of these lovey dovey pics of us up there after all of the cruel and abusive things he has said to me.
It is a third party site so I did write them to see if there was anything I could do... I am going to let it go I think and not go there anymore. You are right that I could see him doing something really deranged. How else can I heal... this whole thing has been a huge ordeal for me.
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Join Date: Nov 2011
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I understand.
I had a friend of mine with more sense and less eloquence than I have tell me "Look, that girl is an energy creature, she will suck all the energy out of you so stop feeding the energy creature.... You must be the dumbest brainiac I ever met!".
He was right :-)
My wife (or as I'm starting to think of her, the sane one) is reading the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Chopra right now with her sponsor... She asked me to read athe first chapter to see what I thought. I think it was a loving hint :-). It's all about being still and calming your mind. We obsessives tend to get in our own way.
Takes me a while to settle down... Best thing is for me to get exercise or get out in nature... So before peckerhead came along, what did you enjoy? Anything that you gave up or forgot to do while he was draining the blood from you? Maybe do that :-). We lose ourselves now and then, sometimes doing something u love but have gotten away from is a path back home. ....I think. I will have a party the day we read that ShootingStar got back in her studio and made something wonderful. She does art, I take little 100 mile bike rides - what makes you forget the world?
I had a friend of mine with more sense and less eloquence than I have tell me "Look, that girl is an energy creature, she will suck all the energy out of you so stop feeding the energy creature.... You must be the dumbest brainiac I ever met!".
He was right :-)
My wife (or as I'm starting to think of her, the sane one) is reading the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Chopra right now with her sponsor... She asked me to read athe first chapter to see what I thought. I think it was a loving hint :-). It's all about being still and calming your mind. We obsessives tend to get in our own way.
Takes me a while to settle down... Best thing is for me to get exercise or get out in nature... So before peckerhead came along, what did you enjoy? Anything that you gave up or forgot to do while he was draining the blood from you? Maybe do that :-). We lose ourselves now and then, sometimes doing something u love but have gotten away from is a path back home. ....I think. I will have a party the day we read that ShootingStar got back in her studio and made something wonderful. She does art, I take little 100 mile bike rides - what makes you forget the world?
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Join Date: Aug 2010
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Originally Posted by PohsFriend
I understand.
I had a friend of mine with more sense and less eloquence than I have tell me "Look, that girl is an energy creature, she will suck all the energy out of you so stop feeding the energy creature.... You must be the dumbest brainiac I ever met!".
He was right :-)
My wife (or as I'm starting to think of her, the sane one) is reading the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Chopra right now with her sponsor... She asked me to read athe first chapter to see what I thought. I think it was a loving hint :-). It's all about being still and calming your mind. We obsessives tend to get in our own way.
Takes me a while to settle down... Best thing is for me to get exercise or get out in nature... So before peckerhead came along, what did you enjoy? Anything that you gave up or forgot to do while he was draining the blood from you? Maybe do that :-). We lose ourselves now and then, sometimes doing something u love but have gotten away from is a path back home. ....I think. I will have a party the day we read that ShootingStar got back in her studio and made something wonderful. She does art, I take little 100 mile bike rides - what makes you forget the world?
I had a friend of mine with more sense and less eloquence than I have tell me "Look, that girl is an energy creature, she will suck all the energy out of you so stop feeding the energy creature.... You must be the dumbest brainiac I ever met!".
He was right :-)
My wife (or as I'm starting to think of her, the sane one) is reading the Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Chopra right now with her sponsor... She asked me to read athe first chapter to see what I thought. I think it was a loving hint :-). It's all about being still and calming your mind. We obsessives tend to get in our own way.
Takes me a while to settle down... Best thing is for me to get exercise or get out in nature... So before peckerhead came along, what did you enjoy? Anything that you gave up or forgot to do while he was draining the blood from you? Maybe do that :-). We lose ourselves now and then, sometimes doing something u love but have gotten away from is a path back home. ....I think. I will have a party the day we read that ShootingStar got back in her studio and made something wonderful. She does art, I take little 100 mile bike rides - what makes you forget the world?
Also, as a former yoga instructor I can say that yoga seriously can be beneficial for anyone who tends to have an obsessive mind. If you find a class with an instructor that does simple meditation practices you will learn how to bring those techniques home. I still practice my meditation and breathing even though I don't teach anymore. Quieting the mind is so difficult for us to do as codies!
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Join Date: Oct 2010
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I thought I was the crazy one, a couple of years back.
I remember telling him I was seeing a therapist, because I wanted to know what was wrong with ME, because he didn't love me like I loved him....
He was amazed and totally surprised that I thought I was the problem, he couldn't believe that I thought that...
We are not the crazy ones, Ziggy-trust me .
I remember telling him I was seeing a therapist, because I wanted to know what was wrong with ME, because he didn't love me like I loved him....
He was amazed and totally surprised that I thought I was the problem, he couldn't believe that I thought that...
We are not the crazy ones, Ziggy-trust me .
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Thanks guys.
I do think I need to get off of the obsessive treadmill and I know that meditation helps so I'm going to start doing that more. I like to do other things such as being out in nature, painting and reading.
No matter what happened, and what horrible things he has said about me, I know it is my responsibility to let go of the past and move forward. It's true I am having a bit of difficulty with that concept at the moment but I think there is hope.
I need to stop caring about him and whatever he has said to me, his opinions of me, etc. mean nothing now. Time to move on... I will do whatever I can to resist going to his website because I know that doesn't help.
I do think I need to get off of the obsessive treadmill and I know that meditation helps so I'm going to start doing that more. I like to do other things such as being out in nature, painting and reading.
No matter what happened, and what horrible things he has said about me, I know it is my responsibility to let go of the past and move forward. It's true I am having a bit of difficulty with that concept at the moment but I think there is hope.
I need to stop caring about him and whatever he has said to me, his opinions of me, etc. mean nothing now. Time to move on... I will do whatever I can to resist going to his website because I know that doesn't help.
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Originally Posted by NYCDoglvr
It's his website and I agree that he can do as he please. I suggest that you stop going there since it stirs you up. And Alanon, if you're not already going.
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Originally Posted by lizatola
I love that book, I need to dig that out of my book boxes. Umm, a 100 mile bike ride is little? LOL! I came on here to agree about doing something we love. I finally am back on the tennis courts after taking a few months off to nurse my disc injury in my lower back. I'm back at yoga twice a week, too.
Also, as a former yoga instructor I can say that yoga seriously can be beneficial for anyone who tends to have an obsessive mind. If you find a class with an instructor that does simple meditation practices you will learn how to bring those techniques home. I still practice my meditation and breathing even though I don't teach anymore. Quieting the mind is so difficult for us to do as codies!
Also, as a former yoga instructor I can say that yoga seriously can be beneficial for anyone who tends to have an obsessive mind. If you find a class with an instructor that does simple meditation practices you will learn how to bring those techniques home. I still practice my meditation and breathing even though I don't teach anymore. Quieting the mind is so difficult for us to do as codies!
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