So confused
 

My dry alcoholic/addict boyfriend who has stopped working his program after 2 years (claiming he is not an alcoholic) is Angry about me reading alanon literature or attending meetings. He says that I'm just scaring and stressing myself out. Tonight I was reading his aa book because my alanon book went missing. He said he was concerned about me, didn't want to discuss it further and then went and vented to our roomate....I have not been in a bad mood or ignoring him, or nagging at him. Why is he so opposed to me bettering MY life? I feel like I am constantly in a no win situation with him....

without booze or a program in place, we alcoholic/addicts become restless, irritable & discontent. usually only takes me about a week without a meeting to turn into a total tool towards nearly everyone I care about. seeing you reading the lit is reminding him of what works & it sounds like he don't wanna think about that right now.

keep up with the alanon & take care of yourself!

Just a question.
You say dry bf. You say he worked a program for 2 years but not anymore .
You say he says hes not an alcoholic and he is getting upset with you reading/attending alanon.
Are you absolutely certain he has not falling off the wagon?
I ask because my first thought would be that he has and is now certain he is fine and then getting defensive because hes back on the hamster wheel?
Either way. Continue in your program and take care of you.

Al-Anon feels threatening to him. It's a reminder that he has abandoned his own recovery.

I wouldn't argue with him about it. Just keep doing what you're doing. He doesn't have to agree with it.

He may well come back around when he realizes things don't go so well without it. Or maybe not, but I've seen it happen.

Keep taking good care of YOU, no matter what!

Thislonelygirl- He is in drug court so he's not able to drink or use. He wants to smoke pot and is considering drinking once he graduates in 2 weeks. I am just praying he has a change of heart.

Ah well see that makes sense. Hes doing what addicts do...hence many times a relapse.
I hope he changes his mind as well but if he does not continue to go to alanon
Sometimes alcoholics stay sober for so long and relapse because they think they are fine and can control it now. Hopefully if he does drink he learns quickly he cannot

Because alcoholics with no program are the same as active drunks: self-centered in the extreme, self-willed, self-involved. A wise friend described it as "his majesty the child."