choublak

That's the phrase used to sum up why alcoholics drink and lie, among other things.

The problem I have with that statement is, there are alcoholics on these forums who have quit drinking, so no, that is not what they do.

suki44883

The phrase should be "that's what active addicts do." Because it is what they do.

CAPTAINZING2000

for me, stopping drinking wasn't hard. The hard part was changing my behavior.
We have a saying where I live, " I didn't cheat and steal because I drank, I drank because I cheated and stole"

Guilt and remorse keeps a lot of people drinking. Hard to look in the mirror at yourself when, you're despicable

suki44883

Very true, Captainzing. Quitting drinking isn't magic, it is only the first step. Usually, many other changes need to be made before recovery can really take hold.

bi11fish

Alcohol is but a symptom.
If you have a drunk horse thief and all he does quit drinking all you have is a better horse thief!!!

fluffyflea

Active ones Choublak.

ReflectingOnMe

I am from a long line of As... country boys from Eastern KY. There are some that live sober lives..many that have sucuumed to it.. no one in our fam has ever used the term active a and recovering a. I dont think people in general recognize the terminology. Just a thought.

PohsFriend

That's because those of us raised in eastern KY have our own vocabulary and culture. You don't hear Y'all drunk? Without yet or still appended to it ;-)


The active/recovering distinction around here though is as distinct as night/day.

Sober/dry is another distinction that the general population wouldn't get but there's a world of difference to us.

The more I work on my own issues and see my wife focusing on her AA program the more I take issue with way alcoholics are sometimes discussed here. I've been angry and frustrated too but it is awfully cynical IMHO to dismiss alcoholics generally as somehow less than the rest of us.

My wife has been working with her sponsor and that sponsors other sponsees on judging lately. I talk to her about thoughts and ideas I leave here with, she talks about things she's learning and we sometimes talk for hours.... I was talking about a post that was clearly written in anger as an example of "it would sure be hard to have any self esteem if someone spoke that way about me!".
...wife said "I understand but that person is dealing with their own pain and we really shouldn't judge - maybe they are coping as best they can right now ...your good at reaching out, maybe you should try to lend a hand instead of writing them off".

...taking a hard look in the mirror, finding the courage to change, expressing compassion for someone who indirectly demeaned her rather than judging, trying to make up for past failures, calling three girls who are struggling and slipped over the holidays. Yeah - that's what alcoholics do too. It's a pain in the ass really.

One size fits one.

celticgenes

Yes, it is what alcoholics do. Mine was sober for 5 years. All that meant was that he wasn't drinking. All of the rest of the dysfunctional behaviors were still there. And ultimately, so was the drinking.

And the merry go round continues.

Justfor1

I think that saying gets said a lot because that is what most alcoholics do. Alcoholics are good at drinking & frequently consume massive amounts of booze. The tolerance that some reach is unbelievable. But folks do recover & go on to live "normal" lives. After many years of sobriety many sober alcoholics find that they no longer need to rely as much recovery type activities in their lives.