the 90/10 Principle
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Orem UT
Posts: 312
the 90/10 Principle
I wanted to share this email I got from my sister, it really makes a different to how I react..and maybe even about expectations!
The 90/10 principle, it will change your life (or at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% of life is decided by how you react….
What does this mean?. We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. You can not control a red light, however; you can control your reaction. Let us use an example…
You are having breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and you criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.
You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school she misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30mph speed limit zone. After a 15-minute delay and throwing a $60.00 traffic fine away, you arrive to school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
After arriving to the office 20 minutes late, you realize you forgot your briefcase.
Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seemed to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
a. Did the coffee cause it?
b. Did your daughter cause it?
c. Did the policemen cause it?
d. Did you cause it?
The answer is “d”
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted on those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry.
You gently say: “Is okay honey, you just need to be more careful next time.”
Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. You grab your briefcase, and you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.
She turns and waves, you arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
:ghug3
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why? Because of how you reacted.
You really have no control over 10% of what happens in your life, the other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches.
We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It can change your life!!
It only takes willpower to give ourselves permission to make the experience.
Absolutely everything we do, give say or even think, it’s like a boomerang. It will come back to us…if we want to receive, we need to learn to give first…maybe we will end up with our hands empty, but our hearts will be filled with love…
And those who love life have that feeling marked in their hearts… Have a great 90/10 day!
By Stephen Covey!
The 90/10 principle, it will change your life (or at least the way you react to situations).
What is this principle? 10% of life is made up of what happens to you, 90% of life is decided by how you react….
What does this mean?. We really have no control over 10% of what happens to us. You can not control a red light, however; you can control your reaction. Let us use an example…
You are having breakfast with your family. Your daughter knocks over a cup of coffee onto your business shirt. You have no control over what just happened.
What happens next will be determined by how you react.
You curse. You harshly scold your daughter for knocking the cup over. She breaks down in tears. After scolding her, you turn to your wife and you criticize her for placing the cup too close to the edge of the table. A short verbal battle follows.
You storm upstairs and change your shirt. Back downstairs, you find your daughter has been too busy crying to finish her breakfast and getting ready to go to school she misses the bus. Your spouse must leave immediately for work. You rush to the car and drive your daughter to school. Because you are late, you drive 40 miles per hour in a 30mph speed limit zone. After a 15-minute delay and throwing a $60.00 traffic fine away, you arrive to school. Your daughter runs into the building without saying goodbye.
After arriving to the office 20 minutes late, you realize you forgot your briefcase.
Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seemed to get worse and worse. You look forward to coming home. When you arrive home, you find a small wedge in your relationship with your wife and daughter.
Why? Because of how you reacted in the morning. Why did you have a bad day?
a. Did the coffee cause it?
b. Did your daughter cause it?
c. Did the policemen cause it?
d. Did you cause it?
The answer is “d”
You had no control over what happened with the coffee. How you reacted on those 5 seconds is what caused your bad day.
Here is what could have and should have happened.
Coffee splashes over you. Your daughter is about to cry.
You gently say: “Is okay honey, you just need to be more careful next time.”
Grabbing a towel you go upstairs and change your shirt. You grab your briefcase, and you come back down in time to look through the window and see your child getting on the bus.
She turns and waves, you arrive 5 minutes early and cheerfully greet the staff.
:ghug3
Notice the difference?
Two different scenarios. Both started the same. Both ended different.
Why? Because of how you reacted.
You really have no control over 10% of what happens in your life, the other 90% was determined by your reaction.
Millions of people are suffering from undeserved stress, trials, problems and headaches.
We all must understand and apply the 90/10 principle. It can change your life!!
It only takes willpower to give ourselves permission to make the experience.
Absolutely everything we do, give say or even think, it’s like a boomerang. It will come back to us…if we want to receive, we need to learn to give first…maybe we will end up with our hands empty, but our hearts will be filled with love…
And those who love life have that feeling marked in their hearts… Have a great 90/10 day!
By Stephen Covey!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 178
Great post, ODAT63.
I think we all (especially the partners of alcoholics) have seen how one bad reaction can create a nasty domino effect that never seems to end.
Although it's easily said than done to control that first reaction in the heat of some our particularly heated moments, it certainly helps to read commonsense posts like these every now and then to remind us.
Thanks!
I think we all (especially the partners of alcoholics) have seen how one bad reaction can create a nasty domino effect that never seems to end.
Although it's easily said than done to control that first reaction in the heat of some our particularly heated moments, it certainly helps to read commonsense posts like these every now and then to remind us.
Thanks!
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Central O-H-I-O
Posts: 1,689
My Wife has the first, nasty set of reactions to just about all situations - the world is out to ruin her life, I think that's what she believes.
I, of course, got sucked into that. But I've worked hard on that, mainly because of what I've learned here about letting go and accepting things, so my reactios are totally different.
Then that leads to her then being MORE pissed off and angry at me because I'm not mad at the world like she is, and a husband is supposed to care, and.... Well, you know how it goes.
My reactions to life's many unfortunate situations has taken a turn for the better, and I can credit SR for that. Thanks!
C-OH Dad
I, of course, got sucked into that. But I've worked hard on that, mainly because of what I've learned here about letting go and accepting things, so my reactios are totally different.
Then that leads to her then being MORE pissed off and angry at me because I'm not mad at the world like she is, and a husband is supposed to care, and.... Well, you know how it goes.
My reactions to life's many unfortunate situations has taken a turn for the better, and I can credit SR for that. Thanks!
C-OH Dad
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