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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Oregon
Posts: 1
New to the site
Hello everyone! I'm new to this site, and this is actually my first run at online forums...my partner is an alcoholic. One of the many challenges, is he is
A. New to recovery (5months)
B. Lives in Brazil (he is Brazilian)
C. I live in Oregon, USA
I am headed back to Brazil next week for another visit. I am fortunate to have known my partner for the last 13 years, but we have never been together for more than 30day segments. He is planning in moving to the states mid next year. I am feeling fairly anxious to visit him soon, as I have not seen him since he has stopped drinking. I do not drink, so, this is of no concern; however, I am curious on how others show their support. I am a mental health therapist, in the states, and from what I have experienced the "vibe" in Brazil is heavily influenced by alcohol. It is more a part of their culture. Of course, dealing firsthand with a loved one living with an addiction is far more different than in a therapeutic setting, of which I a am more accustomed to.
Anyway, no precise questions...only looking for any addition support.
Thanks (obrigada)
A. New to recovery (5months)
B. Lives in Brazil (he is Brazilian)
C. I live in Oregon, USA
I am headed back to Brazil next week for another visit. I am fortunate to have known my partner for the last 13 years, but we have never been together for more than 30day segments. He is planning in moving to the states mid next year. I am feeling fairly anxious to visit him soon, as I have not seen him since he has stopped drinking. I do not drink, so, this is of no concern; however, I am curious on how others show their support. I am a mental health therapist, in the states, and from what I have experienced the "vibe" in Brazil is heavily influenced by alcohol. It is more a part of their culture. Of course, dealing firsthand with a loved one living with an addiction is far more different than in a therapeutic setting, of which I a am more accustomed to.
Anyway, no precise questions...only looking for any addition support.
Thanks (obrigada)
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Touche)) - Welcome to SR! I'm both a recovering addict and recovering codependent with loved ones who are addicts/alcoholics.
For me, the best "support" I got, when I was new to recovery, honestly came from other recovering addicts. Not to put down my family, but they just didn't understand addiction. However, my family was supportive in their own way, but mostly it was just about "getting back to a normal life".
No one coddled me, half the time they don't know how long I've been clean but then I'm coming up on 6 years.
I don't know if that helps any, but I'm sure others will be along soon.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
For me, the best "support" I got, when I was new to recovery, honestly came from other recovering addicts. Not to put down my family, but they just didn't understand addiction. However, my family was supportive in their own way, but mostly it was just about "getting back to a normal life".
No one coddled me, half the time they don't know how long I've been clean but then I'm coming up on 6 years.
I don't know if that helps any, but I'm sure others will be along soon.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: new moon road
Posts: 1,545
Welcome to SR and I wish you a safe journey.
Those of us who have lived with an alcoholic probably always feel great concern for someone who is dating an alcoholic and is preparing (maybe?) to live with an alcoholic. I feel nervous reading that he has only 5 months sobriety, as the first two years of recovery are tense for an alcoholic, and you will be challenged in living with his ups and downs, which could be extreme at times.
So just don't go it alone. If he moves to the states and you begin building a relationship with him which is day-to-day long-term (very different from the one you've known with him), consider weekly Al-Anon meetings to keep your head straight. No matter how well-educated we are nor how well-trained anyone might be in mental health, living with an alcoholic personality can make someone unravel in short time. And he will have that personality for the first year to three years of sobriety, according to what I have read.
But I hope his sobriety holds and that you both find fellowship with others in recovery and it all works out for your highest good. SR is here for any feedback as things unfold.
Those of us who have lived with an alcoholic probably always feel great concern for someone who is dating an alcoholic and is preparing (maybe?) to live with an alcoholic. I feel nervous reading that he has only 5 months sobriety, as the first two years of recovery are tense for an alcoholic, and you will be challenged in living with his ups and downs, which could be extreme at times.
So just don't go it alone. If he moves to the states and you begin building a relationship with him which is day-to-day long-term (very different from the one you've known with him), consider weekly Al-Anon meetings to keep your head straight. No matter how well-educated we are nor how well-trained anyone might be in mental health, living with an alcoholic personality can make someone unravel in short time. And he will have that personality for the first year to three years of sobriety, according to what I have read.
But I hope his sobriety holds and that you both find fellowship with others in recovery and it all works out for your highest good. SR is here for any feedback as things unfold.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2008
Posts: 10,944
Hello Touche, Welcome to SR!
I wish you nothing but the best on your journey and I, too, am concerned that he only has 5 months of sobriety and is making such major life changes.
Please make yourself comfortable here. You have found a great place for support and shared experience. Welcome, again!
I wish you nothing but the best on your journey and I, too, am concerned that he only has 5 months of sobriety and is making such major life changes.
Please make yourself comfortable here. You have found a great place for support and shared experience. Welcome, again!
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