Found out my ex husband is an A
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Join Date: Oct 2011
Posts: 386
Found out my ex husband is an A
Hello. I've talked a lot on this forum about my RABF (who is 6 months sober, working the steps and going strong! Praise God!)
I've never talked about my ex husband (we were very different people who had no business being together -- it ended rather badly). Alcoholism was in his family -- grandfather, dad, sister. But I didn't think he was one. Despite being in the bar business, he never drank much if ever around me. It would be in our house, he wouldn't touch it.
There were a few times in our 10 year relationship he got stupid-drunk (I recall a horrible birthday dinner with his parents where he got hammered before we went. Another at an awards dinner for my work- he got hammered and in his obnoxious stupor, accidentally shattered the award I won!) I knew he would have a drink after his shift, but it didn't seem like *that* big ofa thing, even though his actions didn't always sit right with me. I was completely sheltered and had no idea what alcoholism looked like.
Fast forward. I learned he is going to AA (RABF saw him -- waited several weeks, with blessing of his sponsor, to say anything to me. He thought I should know in case a confrontation would occur).
I don't know any more about it -- whether XH decided to go willingly or maybe he got a dwi. And I don't want/need to. But it made me feel somewhat relieved amd gave me closure to know that he has an admitted drinking issue. It definitely shed some light on unresolved issues in my mind. It made me realize those nagging instincts were on to something.
Anyway, I needed to share and will never tell my friends, family or anyone -- I will, of course ,respect him and the anonymity of the program.
Thank you for listening.
I've never talked about my ex husband (we were very different people who had no business being together -- it ended rather badly). Alcoholism was in his family -- grandfather, dad, sister. But I didn't think he was one. Despite being in the bar business, he never drank much if ever around me. It would be in our house, he wouldn't touch it.
There were a few times in our 10 year relationship he got stupid-drunk (I recall a horrible birthday dinner with his parents where he got hammered before we went. Another at an awards dinner for my work- he got hammered and in his obnoxious stupor, accidentally shattered the award I won!) I knew he would have a drink after his shift, but it didn't seem like *that* big ofa thing, even though his actions didn't always sit right with me. I was completely sheltered and had no idea what alcoholism looked like.
Fast forward. I learned he is going to AA (RABF saw him -- waited several weeks, with blessing of his sponsor, to say anything to me. He thought I should know in case a confrontation would occur).
I don't know any more about it -- whether XH decided to go willingly or maybe he got a dwi. And I don't want/need to. But it made me feel somewhat relieved amd gave me closure to know that he has an admitted drinking issue. It definitely shed some light on unresolved issues in my mind. It made me realize those nagging instincts were on to something.
Anyway, I needed to share and will never tell my friends, family or anyone -- I will, of course ,respect him and the anonymity of the program.
Thank you for listening.
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