Newbie to the forum. But not to the misery of alcholic partner.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 6
Noblestone,
Welcome to the forum, keep checking in... it's good to remind yourself that there are others out there have some idea of what it's like to live what, at times, can feel like a very lonely existence.
I've lived with my AW for almost 20 years now and reading your story sounds very familiar to me. I know that, were it not for our two children, I would have walked years ago. But the truth is that each time I've found myself at breaking point and been ready to leave it has always been the thought of them which has made me breathe a heavy sigh, close the door and decide to give it 'one more try'. There is no rule book as to how you deal with these issues, we simply do what we think is best with the given circumstances and hope that we've made the right choice and, of course, sometimes we don't. We're only human!
'Trapped' is a very familiar feeling to me (and I dare say many of the others posting here). Trapped by thoughts of what is and what could be. But for what it's worth this is a brief version of what's happened whilst raising my kids with an AW (my children are now 13 and 16)
The alcohol (whilst always present in our relationship from day one) really began to take it's toll when my children were about 7 and 4. I did what many do under those circumstances, I lied. I would tell them that 'mum's just a bit tired' or 'not feeling well', I would take them into other rooms, out of the house, anything to try and shield them from her when she'd been drinking. I didn't know what else to do, I couldn't stand the thought of them being around her in that condition but also couldn't face the idea breaking up the family. If I had my time again would I make the same choices? No. I did what I thought was best under difficult circumstances but in hindsight I think I should have handled it differently. My eldest has had a pretty rough couple of years, she's very angry about the drinking and rightly so. If I could go back and change things I would have left a long time ago and tried to give them at least a part of their lives they could turn to where drink was not a factor.
I understand completely your longing to hold the family together, it's exactly what I've been trying to do for more years than I can remember, but in my experience it's a battle that you just can't win.
I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this situation. Living with that weight around your shoulders is hard. A forum like this can, I've discovered, ease the load just a little...
Welcome to the forum, keep checking in... it's good to remind yourself that there are others out there have some idea of what it's like to live what, at times, can feel like a very lonely existence.
I've lived with my AW for almost 20 years now and reading your story sounds very familiar to me. I know that, were it not for our two children, I would have walked years ago. But the truth is that each time I've found myself at breaking point and been ready to leave it has always been the thought of them which has made me breathe a heavy sigh, close the door and decide to give it 'one more try'. There is no rule book as to how you deal with these issues, we simply do what we think is best with the given circumstances and hope that we've made the right choice and, of course, sometimes we don't. We're only human!
'Trapped' is a very familiar feeling to me (and I dare say many of the others posting here). Trapped by thoughts of what is and what could be. But for what it's worth this is a brief version of what's happened whilst raising my kids with an AW (my children are now 13 and 16)
The alcohol (whilst always present in our relationship from day one) really began to take it's toll when my children were about 7 and 4. I did what many do under those circumstances, I lied. I would tell them that 'mum's just a bit tired' or 'not feeling well', I would take them into other rooms, out of the house, anything to try and shield them from her when she'd been drinking. I didn't know what else to do, I couldn't stand the thought of them being around her in that condition but also couldn't face the idea breaking up the family. If I had my time again would I make the same choices? No. I did what I thought was best under difficult circumstances but in hindsight I think I should have handled it differently. My eldest has had a pretty rough couple of years, she's very angry about the drinking and rightly so. If I could go back and change things I would have left a long time ago and tried to give them at least a part of their lives they could turn to where drink was not a factor.
I understand completely your longing to hold the family together, it's exactly what I've been trying to do for more years than I can remember, but in my experience it's a battle that you just can't win.
I'm so sorry that you find yourself in this situation. Living with that weight around your shoulders is hard. A forum like this can, I've discovered, ease the load just a little...
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