Not homeless yet
 

My AD's landlord/roommate caved and let her stay with him. Then he decided he would "dose" her with alcohol, both to prevent seizures and to prevent her from stealing his car and another bottle of vodka again. I hadn't been in contact but just found this out yesterday.

He told me my AD had become despondent when he finally put his foot down and said no more booze. She took a steak knife and cut herself across the abdomen and then showed it to him. Even HE understands it was for attention and manipulation. But he finally had enough (this time) and drove her to the hospital himself. They admitted her to the psychiatric unit.

My problem is what to do now. I don't even know what to say to her at this point. I talked to a nurse yesterday and today and she is stable, but withdrawing from alcohol of course. What can I possibly say at this point? I'm sure the hospital is getting tired of seeing her, especially in the E.R. I'm also sure they refer her to places but she doesn't stick with it. I know I can't fix her and don't even want to try. I would love to speak some words of wisdom that might make a difference in her decision when she is discharged.

I feel your pain, i wish I had the answers. Hospitals have social workers that can be of help to families and patients. Perhaps you can call the hospital admin and see what comes out of the conversation.

You are right that the hospital is probably getting sick of her becoming a "frequent flyer". It's a term staff use for regulars. However, they may or may not be offering services. Lately, in my state there is no more state run rehabs because of funding issues.

Nothing to add. Just wanted to say I'm sorry and I wish you strength and serenity.

Thanks everyone. Sometimes I just need to bounce things off others. I really do think I am getting better at this, thanks to the help and support of people here. I'm not frantic anymore. I'm not staying awake at night worrying about her (although I still would have a hard time if she were on the streets). I'm also not expecting myself to fix any of this. It is so clear to me now that my AD chooses her path, in spite of anything I say to her. She knows what she has to do.

The landlord/roommate is willing to take her back yet again. I suspect he has feelings for her. No surprise. Truthfully he is the most decent man who has ever cared about her. Unfortunately, she uses his feelings to manipulate him.

Another interesting thing about my AD now that she is sober and in a supervised setting--she sounded like her old self. She was upbeat and optimistic. When I asked how long she expected to be there, she joked, "Oh about a year and a half." She has also asked her roommate to bring her makeup. On the one hand, I am glad she appears better. On the other, how can she be on this roller coaster, at such a different place in a matter of days? And if I had allowed myself to go down with her, I don't think I could have recovered so quickly.

Thanks again for the support. I don't know what I would do without it and without God holding my hand!