Katiekate

I think it's a must read for most of us.

Women Who Love Psychopaths by Sandra L Brown MA

I am beginning to believe that the majority of us who come here a dealing with way more than alcoholism. And that while counseling and the steps and studying co dependency are all very good tools, until I started reading this book, I still felt a huge sense of what has happened to me????

I have opened up a door of healing for myslef, I ordered this book on a whim, it is really paying off.

Please know that I am not even hinting at the idea that all alcoholic and addicts are psychopaths, or that the population of A's here make up any part of this group, , my guess is that most of the A's that come here do not fit into that category or they would not be here.

I have been wondering since I found this forum, why the degree of devastation to the women and men that come to this forum is so intense. Reading this book has brought much light to me.

I encourage all of us to read this book. It's eye opening.

Happy New Year all, Katie

Confetti

Thanks for the recommendation, I will add it to my list of books to get when I head to the city.

I think that you are right. When I first saw my therapist and gave him a brief summary of what the heck had gone on, he told me that there is no way that I was dealing with a "garden variety alcoholic."

Alex41

Thanks Katie I will give it ago.

Kassie2

I would suggest that alcohol or drug addiction simulates sociopathic behavior which is why you are benefitting from the book you are reading. Whatever the source, and a person can have both... if is helps and supports you doing what is needed for your growth and health I say wonderful.

I just wanted to say that a person can have multiple problems. My XAH had mental problems and an addiction. He had difficulty controlling his addiction due to the lack of better mental health management. He suffered the worst wounding of trauma in childhood, had biological issues and found alcohol to be a better moderator than medication. It did little to ameliorate the issues in personal relationships, but when in therapy, he made progress in both his addiction and sobriety.

Bottom line is that I had to take steps necessary for my own well being. I had to admit that I could not live with his problems. I thought I could and found I was wrong. Just relieved that I figured out what I could do and what I could not do.

Hopeful that you are on your journey on sorting this out too. Best wishes and lots of love/support.

Rosiepetal

Thank you for sharing.

Katiekate

Hi Kassie,

My father was and alcoholic, he was not a psychopath.

My xabf was a psychopath and an alcoholic. He was a psychopath first.

It's important not to minimize , it's important, as a society, to become educated so that we can protect ourselves and our children from becoming the target of someone who deals with life with a different mind.

Addiction and alcoholism is common among psychopaths, but not the cause of the behavior. The cognitive dissonance experienced as the fallout from a relationship with pychopaths is apparent and rampant in the stories we read here on the forum, I always knew, in my relationship with my xabf that something else was going on, but when I was in it I could not reason it.

lightseeker

I read this book and it allowed me to put pieces together that had been missing. It helped me to understand me better and most importantly - begin the journey of forgiving myself for getting involved with one.

I always struggled to understand how someone with my training and background could fall for what I fell for - and took - and this book really helped me to realize that these people are just vampires. And VERY difficult to spot and escape from.

I agree about how much this book helped me. I was able to begin to turn a corner after I read it. I think that when people are in active addiction that they can behave in sociopathic ways - doesn't mean that they are one, just that they behave like one. Then there are the people that are one and become addicts. That is who I ran into. Even after he got sober he was still a psychcopath. No fixing that.....

I just hope that I never again go through that sort of experience.