The happiest person on Earth
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
The happiest person on Earth
After going through difficult weeks, today I woke up very happy.
Gratitude list:
1 I woke up. This is always good news.
2 I am healthy. At one point, having some knee issues, I thought I would never walk or drive again, or at least not without pain. A doc suggested an operation ASAP. It was a major scare for me.
HAH! thanks to yoga and some natural remedies my knee is FINE. I can walk fine now and am hopeful it will continue to get better.
3 As I am able to drive I am going back home to the town the whole XABF story unfolded (5 hours away). That alone was hell. I was stolen twice, my car was vandalized. Got stolen stuff with emotional value. A laptop was stolen as well. I had a car accident. I met wackos. Even my therapist turned out to be one, telling my story to everyone and telling ME about other patients, with names and all. OMG. Then I started going out with another loser. All this while being exploited at work, working 24x7 non-stop. Health issues due to stress and lack of sleep. And many other things, but I will spare you.
Granted, there were good things during that time also, but in handsight I don't know how I was handling all that...
4 Fast forward. Yesterday I slept in a new rented home. VERY PEACEFUL in a Saturday night. Good illumination. Its perfect for me. I am happy. I am planning to buy a huge wooden table to put my artistic/fashion stuff there. I have wanted to do this for a LONG time. But how could I allow myself to be creative, if outside, everything was falling apart (AND I was a willing participant??)?
I foresee healthier days for me. I can't believe how much I have endured and gone through, mostly by myself. I am feeling more deserving today, of peace & wellness & health in all aspects. I am starting to believe I AM strong.
To me it looks like a huge dramatic, sad stage of my life is ending. No, many things are still not perfect, but I feel proud because I left that abusive job, I left the abusive boyfriends, I left really bad neighbourhoods (one got abusive towards me out of the blue / then in another place, I overheard one man hitting a woman. It was horrible).
I was thinking how I felt having money and having a boyfriend were signs of 'success' LOL. I am almost broke, single at 30 and I feel WONDERFUL!!
Thinking of my SR friends today. Yes indeed, a better way to live is possible
Just so grateful to God, I am in tears. I got MY favorite CDs to play while I drive for my cats, then back towards freedom & a new chapter
Just so incredibly grateful for being in the side of recovery!!
I read in the Abraham Hicks (law of attraction stuff) webpage - something like - "the less attention you put to others, the purer your intentions, and the happier you'll be with what HP sends your way"
Yes indeed, as soon as I started to realize I matter, things started getting better, choices got very clear.
Gratitude list:
1 I woke up. This is always good news.
2 I am healthy. At one point, having some knee issues, I thought I would never walk or drive again, or at least not without pain. A doc suggested an operation ASAP. It was a major scare for me.
HAH! thanks to yoga and some natural remedies my knee is FINE. I can walk fine now and am hopeful it will continue to get better.
3 As I am able to drive I am going back home to the town the whole XABF story unfolded (5 hours away). That alone was hell. I was stolen twice, my car was vandalized. Got stolen stuff with emotional value. A laptop was stolen as well. I had a car accident. I met wackos. Even my therapist turned out to be one, telling my story to everyone and telling ME about other patients, with names and all. OMG. Then I started going out with another loser. All this while being exploited at work, working 24x7 non-stop. Health issues due to stress and lack of sleep. And many other things, but I will spare you.
Granted, there were good things during that time also, but in handsight I don't know how I was handling all that...
4 Fast forward. Yesterday I slept in a new rented home. VERY PEACEFUL in a Saturday night. Good illumination. Its perfect for me. I am happy. I am planning to buy a huge wooden table to put my artistic/fashion stuff there. I have wanted to do this for a LONG time. But how could I allow myself to be creative, if outside, everything was falling apart (AND I was a willing participant??)?
I foresee healthier days for me. I can't believe how much I have endured and gone through, mostly by myself. I am feeling more deserving today, of peace & wellness & health in all aspects. I am starting to believe I AM strong.
To me it looks like a huge dramatic, sad stage of my life is ending. No, many things are still not perfect, but I feel proud because I left that abusive job, I left the abusive boyfriends, I left really bad neighbourhoods (one got abusive towards me out of the blue / then in another place, I overheard one man hitting a woman. It was horrible).
I was thinking how I felt having money and having a boyfriend were signs of 'success' LOL. I am almost broke, single at 30 and I feel WONDERFUL!!
Thinking of my SR friends today. Yes indeed, a better way to live is possible
Just so grateful to God, I am in tears. I got MY favorite CDs to play while I drive for my cats, then back towards freedom & a new chapter
Just so incredibly grateful for being in the side of recovery!!
I read in the Abraham Hicks (law of attraction stuff) webpage - something like - "the less attention you put to others, the purer your intentions, and the happier you'll be with what HP sends your way"
Yes indeed, as soon as I started to realize I matter, things started getting better, choices got very clear.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: SAN FRANCISCO
Posts: 1,176
I'm so glad you are feeling good!
I used to feel like if I wasn't in a relationship I was nothing but I've discovered that I like having time to work on me, no abuse and nobody telling me what to do is a Godsend.
It's been 6 months since axbf and I broke up and I spend the first few months at least feeling terrible at myself and trying to recover from his cr*p. Things are looking up for us both, I think!
I used to feel like if I wasn't in a relationship I was nothing but I've discovered that I like having time to work on me, no abuse and nobody telling me what to do is a Godsend.
It's been 6 months since axbf and I broke up and I spend the first few months at least feeling terrible at myself and trying to recover from his cr*p. Things are looking up for us both, I think!
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Thanks friends, I arrived home safely and I enjoyed the trip very much. I love it when the sun shines behind clouds and you can see separate rays coming out of them. In Spanish they call that "God's fingers' - not sure if they call it that way in the US, too. I only knew the general direction but there were several highways to choose from, I took one I had never taken and traversed 4 states lol. It was great to see the local flavors & distinct geographies...I drove over a bridge over a large lake - amazing. Then there was another bridge over a major cliff - amazing! I also saw a very charming market... it had been a long time since I felt like a kid and happy to see different things.
Honestly -I did not expect to feel this way today. I am usually not this upbeat ! I had my favorite dish for dinner and now sipping a delicious fruit punch. Yes, this has been a good day indeed!
Honestly -I did not expect to feel this way today. I am usually not this upbeat
! I had my favorite dish for dinner and now sipping a delicious fruit punch. Yes, this has been a good day indeed!
A jug fills drop by drop
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 6,784
Ahhhh . Now I get it. My German ex roomie brought me some chocolate from Berlin. I ate a complete bar this morning.
The endorphines worked great! I knew something was off. Sorry friends, it was not recovery, it was Almond "MILKA" bars or something LOL
The endorphines worked great! I knew something was off. Sorry friends, it was not recovery, it was Almond "MILKA" bars or something LOL
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