Anon12

This is sort of off topic - I have been stressing about Christmas post breakup, what to do if X texts me, feeling sad about things etc. then something happened to put things in perspective.

My brother had an accident on his bike on Saturday night and went head first into some railings. Thankfully he was near a hospital and the ambulance came quickly. He's had a CT scan and turns out he's got a fracture in his neck which could have been fatal so he has been extremely lucky but it's still very serious. He's been transferred to a specialist trauma unit and waiting an MRI scan to see how bad the fracture is and whether he need surgery or will be ok with a neck brace.

It looks like he'll be in hospital for Christmas which wasn't what we planned but I'm thankful he's ok. I feel sad that I can't talk to my X about it and have some support but I know that when he was drinking he wasn't any kind of support. I wish this hadn't happened, but it's made me realise my efforts are best focused on looking after my family during this time rather than wasting time and tears on someone who can't be there for me.

Thanks for reading x

Seren

I'm so sorry to hear about your brother, Anon. I hope and pray that his healing will be speedy!

Please take good care of yourself and your family, and Merry Christmas!

dandylion

Dear Anon12, I recognize that impulse to run straight to that "familiar" person when tradgedy strikes and we need loving comfort.********Thus, I want to commend you on your clarity of thought!!!!! You know the saying: "Don't go to the hardware store for a loaf of bread". I have done this very thing so often in my past and gotten heartbreak as a result.

I am so glad to hear that your brother has not suffered damage. With him being in such care--there is every reason to expect him to recover intact. What a blessing for your family!

I also want to wish you a Merry Christmas.

sincerely, dandylion

Tuffgirl

Oh me too, what dandylion says. There have been moments of sheer torture wanting to call him for some comfort, then having to remind myself - comfort? From him? And then I remembered the "going to the hardware store for bread" analogy. Instead I turned to people I knew could give me the comfort I needed.

It still hurts though. But better to be able to stop the urge before I act on it then get hurt repeatedly expecting something I won't ever get.

Prayers for your brother today,
~T

Katiekate

Anon, you and yours are in my thoughts.

Sending lots of love, Katie

Anon12

Thank you all for your lovely messages and thoughts. It's really appreciated. I took my mum's homemade mince pies today to my brother in hospital which cheered him up a bit. My mum came down to mine instead and is busy making traditional stuffing etc. so we can take a mini Christmas dinner to him tomorrow.

Hope everyone has lovely Christmases and New Year's.