ugh thank goodness
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
ugh thank goodness
Ah has been quacking like crazy these last few days. I just come on here to read others posts to deter from what hes saying. Or ill go out so forth.
Atleast hes actually been going to sleep tho.....usually ah stays up drinking until hes falling over face first or sleeping sitting up or on the ground etc. Its annoying and sad to look at .
It didnt matter if he had to work or what he would get little sleep or stay up for a day or two .
Here lately its been awesome that hes been going to bed and stopping himself. I dunno if its him or his body catching up to him since hes also been feeling sick from drinking. Last night he qoute said he didnt feel right and needed to stop drinking and go to bed.
Thats good....I think.......
But the quacking. Omgsh !!!! Bash head against wall because its frustrating. Atleast he stops by going to bed. Thank goodness!
So to my point aside from rambling.
I was thinking about his drinkimg today and how im happy hes sleeping. ..who thinks that way lol. Seriously. That should be a given ...normal and it made me think about all his other psych deals ....symptoms etc and I was wandering what stage of alcoholism Is he?
Anyone have similiar issue with the sleeping etc ( ah had also sacrificed eating for drinking as well) is this middle or late stage? Just thoughts I wanted to get off my mind.
Thanks
Atleast hes actually been going to sleep tho.....usually ah stays up drinking until hes falling over face first or sleeping sitting up or on the ground etc. Its annoying and sad to look at .
It didnt matter if he had to work or what he would get little sleep or stay up for a day or two .
Here lately its been awesome that hes been going to bed and stopping himself. I dunno if its him or his body catching up to him since hes also been feeling sick from drinking. Last night he qoute said he didnt feel right and needed to stop drinking and go to bed.
Thats good....I think.......
But the quacking. Omgsh !!!! Bash head against wall because its frustrating. Atleast he stops by going to bed. Thank goodness!
So to my point aside from rambling.
I was thinking about his drinkimg today and how im happy hes sleeping. ..who thinks that way lol. Seriously. That should be a given ...normal and it made me think about all his other psych deals ....symptoms etc and I was wandering what stage of alcoholism Is he?
Anyone have similiar issue with the sleeping etc ( ah had also sacrificed eating for drinking as well) is this middle or late stage? Just thoughts I wanted to get off my mind.
Thanks
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 3,443
That does sound sad, for both you and him. I don't know what stage it is.
A strategy that I have found helpful in my recovery is to turn questions around back onto myself. There are stages of co-dependency too you know. Perhaps your time is better spent on that one? If you google it you'll be reading half the night.
What if I have a treatable progressive disorder called co-dependency? What if I ignore and deny that just like my ah is ignoring and denying his obsession with alcohol? What if my unhealthy attachment to him is destroying me in the same way his unhealthy attachment to alcohol is destroying him?
I saw myself in those lists Melodie Beattie wrote and I saw my picture next to 'later stages of codependency' and it was a wake up call for me.
I'm not trying to bash your post. I've had that question and there isn't anything wrong with the question and it is probably a good thing to learn about alcoholism. I'm just sharing my journey and my journey didn't get better until I left his alone and focused on mine.
After writing this post but before sending I googled stages of codependency and found this definition of co-dependency. I don't know if the guy that wrote it is a quack or not but this snippet is soooooo true of me that I'm going to share it. Abandoning myself is exactly what I did and focusing on my ah was a powerful tool in that process.
A strategy that I have found helpful in my recovery is to turn questions around back onto myself. There are stages of co-dependency too you know. Perhaps your time is better spent on that one? If you google it you'll be reading half the night.
What if I have a treatable progressive disorder called co-dependency? What if I ignore and deny that just like my ah is ignoring and denying his obsession with alcohol? What if my unhealthy attachment to him is destroying me in the same way his unhealthy attachment to alcohol is destroying him?
I saw myself in those lists Melodie Beattie wrote and I saw my picture next to 'later stages of codependency' and it was a wake up call for me.
I'm not trying to bash your post. I've had that question and there isn't anything wrong with the question and it is probably a good thing to learn about alcoholism. I'm just sharing my journey and my journey didn't get better until I left his alone and focused on mine.
After writing this post but before sending I googled stages of codependency and found this definition of co-dependency. I don't know if the guy that wrote it is a quack or not but this snippet is soooooo true of me that I'm going to share it. Abandoning myself is exactly what I did and focusing on my ah was a powerful tool in that process.
Fear of being your authentic self, resulting in power patterns (controlling or compliance to manipulate) to get what you believe you can’t ask or demand from others. Codependents fear abandonment and rejection. In giving up their authentic selves they perform the ultimate abandonment-that of oneself. Patrick B. McGinnis
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Was just curious. I found myself in thought today and figured ide get better answers on here than googling it.
Im notvreally troubled tho.must be a good thing....I have left his addition to him. Still I think about it.
As for me im excited to say I have decided to go back to school and ive picked up some neat hobbies along the way. Very good at them I must say. Making things. Co dependancy for me the biggest thing now is just ignorig the rambles other than that I have found sanctuary in just leaving well enough alone and enjoying myself and looking forward to this new yr about me. Not about his adfiction.
I will keep working at keepig it that way and thanks
Im notvreally troubled tho.must be a good thing....I have left his addition to him. Still I think about it.
As for me im excited to say I have decided to go back to school and ive picked up some neat hobbies along the way. Very good at them I must say. Making things. Co dependancy for me the biggest thing now is just ignorig the rambles other than that I have found sanctuary in just leaving well enough alone and enjoying myself and looking forward to this new yr about me. Not about his adfiction.
I will keep working at keepig it that way and thanks
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Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Oregon
Posts: 138
With being thankful he is sleeping, I use to think that about my ex-abf. He would drink cheap can beer by the dozens. Get so sloppy drunk and the drunker he got the more he would call everyone and or talk to anyone that would listen. Most of his so called friends stopped picking up after 9pm but he’d call anyway even at 1am. Finally he would give up drinking or talking long enough to sit down and pass out. I thought finally he is asleep.
When my ex-abf would sleep/pass out I had some peace and also I knew where he was, because for once he was not at the bar drinking or running away from me telling me off for trying to help him live a better life, or what I thought would be a better life, not drinking.
I’m not sure about if that is a symptom of any stage of alcoholism but what I did know and so did his 10 year old daughter is if he is sleeping he is no longer drinking, but then he’d wake up at 4am and if it was not a work day (and normally it wasn’t for him, lazy) I would hear him crack open another beer drink it and go back to bed on the sofa. Really that just made me sick.
I hope you’re getting rest because I know I never did when I was with my ex-abf. Just thought I'd share with you a story out of my experience with sleeping and drinking, not sure if it sheds any light but when you posted this it reminded me of my time of being happy when he was sleeping!
When my ex-abf would sleep/pass out I had some peace and also I knew where he was, because for once he was not at the bar drinking or running away from me telling me off for trying to help him live a better life, or what I thought would be a better life, not drinking.
I’m not sure about if that is a symptom of any stage of alcoholism but what I did know and so did his 10 year old daughter is if he is sleeping he is no longer drinking, but then he’d wake up at 4am and if it was not a work day (and normally it wasn’t for him, lazy) I would hear him crack open another beer drink it and go back to bed on the sofa. Really that just made me sick.
I hope you’re getting rest because I know I never did when I was with my ex-abf. Just thought I'd share with you a story out of my experience with sleeping and drinking, not sure if it sheds any light but when you posted this it reminded me of my time of being happy when he was sleeping!
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Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: OK
Posts: 26
That's how I like my AH, asleep! LOL. However, mine goes to bed pretty early 5 of the 7 days per week so I get an hour or two of me time! And each night I take an hour or so and visit here and read! His daily routine is 12-18 beers per day in a 4-6 hour period, it sucks. And yes, I mean every single day, for at least the past 18 years.
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 490
I found it exhausting to wait for my XAH to go to sleep. I had to stay up and awake in case he set stuff on fire. He nearly killed us all one night when he fell asleep after trying to boil eggs in oil. After he drunkenly set other stuff on fire twice after the BIG fire was sort of when I realised he was going to accidentally kill us all one day or even deliberately kill us all.
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Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
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Originally Posted by Lulu39 
I found it exhausting to wait for my XAH to go to sleep. I had to stay up and awake in case he set stuff on fire. He nearly killed us all one night when he fell asleep after trying to boil eggs in oil. After he drunkenly set other stuff on fire twice after the BIG fire was sort of when I realised he was going to accidentally kill us all one day or even deliberately kill us all.
Then him saying it wasnt him anf blaming me for food wasted.one of us his topics ....money spent on food that goes bad. There was one instance where I cleaned out the fridge and told him threw away a few things that were no good and he then later while drinking said I missed two things one a single meal deal and A jar of cream cheese.
Then tried to say I didnt do my job correctly because I didnt throw those things out.hmmmmm.... both of the things he mentioned were things he bought for him. Dont use the cream cheese.he got it for him and the single meal he got for work for him.
I assumed they were still good.he failed at that put down.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
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Originally Posted by LuvsTaz
That's how I like my AH, asleep! LOL. However, mine goes to bed pretty early 5 of the 7 days per week so I get an hour or two of me time! And each night I take an hour or so and visit here and read! His daily routine is 12-18 beers per day in a 4-6 hour period, it sucks. And yes, I mean every single day, for at least the past 18 years.
Here lately its been about the same 5 of 7 days by 9 or 10 before it was 1 or 2 days out of 7 for 9 or 10 and the rest was between the hours of 1 and 3 am norm. Ugh how that was frustrating. The relief to know its calming and he hasnt done that for awhile.
And yes as soon as he sleeps its me time! An hr or 2 as well and I do enjoy it.
It also helps with me time with boundaries as well things I will and wont tolerate.
So its a process on that but atleast its not am bed time for him
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
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Originally Posted by lovesunandsnow
With being thankful he is sleeping, I use to think that about my ex-abf. He would drink cheap can beer by the dozens. Get so sloppy drunk and the drunker he got the more he would call everyone and or talk to anyone that would listen. Most of his so called friends stopped picking up after 9pm but he’d call anyway even at 1am. Finally he would give up drinking or talking long enough to sit down and pass out. I thought finally he is asleep.
When my ex-abf would sleep/pass out I had some peace and also I knew where he was, because for once he was not at the bar drinking or running away from me telling me off for trying to help him live a better life, or what I thought would be a better life, not drinking.
I’m not sure about if that is a symptom of any stage of alcoholism but what I did know and so did his 10 year old daughter is if he is sleeping he is no longer drinking, but then he’d wake up at 4am and if it was not a work day (and normally it wasn’t for him, lazy) I would hear him crack open another beer drink it and go back to bed on the sofa. Really that just made me sick.
I hope you’re getting rest because I know I never did when I was with my ex-abf. Just thought I'd share with you a story out of my experience with sleeping and drinking, not sure if it sheds any light but when you posted this it reminded me of my time of being happy when he was sleeping!
When my ex-abf would sleep/pass out I had some peace and also I knew where he was, because for once he was not at the bar drinking or running away from me telling me off for trying to help him live a better life, or what I thought would be a better life, not drinking.
I’m not sure about if that is a symptom of any stage of alcoholism but what I did know and so did his 10 year old daughter is if he is sleeping he is no longer drinking, but then he’d wake up at 4am and if it was not a work day (and normally it wasn’t for him, lazy) I would hear him crack open another beer drink it and go back to bed on the sofa. Really that just made me sick.
I hope you’re getting rest because I know I never did when I was with my ex-abf. Just thought I'd share with you a story out of my experience with sleeping and drinking, not sure if it sheds any light but when you posted this it reminded me of my time of being happy when he was sleeping!
Seen that so many times...even tried to stop him by telling him the time and they are probably asleep and have small children. Then when the other line explained its late and need to go to sleep . Get off and he all basically cries because they are mad or nobody likes him. Stupid. And the whole sit down long enough to pass out. Yup! Thats how it was until recently. He would keep going and going and deny him being tired but once he sT down he would pass out and thanks for sharing. Before I would say no....I get sleep some times but not enough not with his drinking staying up late purposely being loud so ide "hang out with him" but lately hes been stopping himself ....stops drinking and lays down and doesnt even try to fight it. He basically has been walking me through things ...I got to go to bed. You dont have yo go to bed with me. Ill stay up if you want me too but ill drink more if I do and ill say things I shouldnt and basically act a fool. His words.
So sleeps been better
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