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Question for people who choose to stay............

Old 12-22-2012, 04:07 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Those who stay do so with two outcomes they work their steps and recover themselves or they fall to pieces and lose themselves.
Ultimately the decision is yours . What do you feel? What can you tolerate?
What would change if you stayed? What would change if you left?
Its natural to worry about the decisions you make and then to be upset because they dont fit into someone elses plan. Your children love you. Yes. But I find that in life not everyone is going to be happy and some will talk. It could be normal relationship woes . Change of career or living situation. Financial . Parenting skills and youll find someone who disagrees with you.
Ive had to learn that in order to not regret me and to make decisions that suit me and my family ive had to let others down. Move where my mother threw a fit because it wasnt around the corner. Just one example.
Your children may know best but this is your decision. Only you know the answer
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Old 12-22-2012, 07:24 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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My Ah was "scared $hitless" that my recordings of him would get shown to the judge during our divorce. lol He knew that I had literally over 100 of such recordings...both audio and video...including voice mails.
Oh, don't get me wrong, I did have some "success" with my manipulation and shaming. I got him to behave better for a while. But, he was filled with resentment and anger towards me. And, as I said, I started becoming someone I didn't like very much.

But, whatever works for you. Blackmail and manipulation worked for me for a while. Until I figured out that was not who I wanted to be. At that point, I simply left him to his own devices and went on with my life. I've been a lot happier since.

L
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:10 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by LaTeeDa View Post
Oh, don't get me wrong, I did have some "success" with my manipulation and shaming. I got him to behave better for a while. But, he was filled with resentment and anger towards me. And, as I said, I started becoming someone I didn't like very much.

But, whatever works for you. Blackmail and manipulation worked for me for a while. Until I figured out that was not who I wanted to be. At that point, I simply left him to his own devices and went on with my life. I've been a lot happier since.

L
Wise...

After a while you just hear the voice of that damned compute in Wargames: A strange game, the only way to win is not to play.
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:18 AM
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Originally Posted by PohsFriend View Post
Wise...

After a while you just hear the voice of that damned compute in Wargames: A strange game, the only way to win is not to play.
That's just it. There was a point where power, control, "winning," ceased to matter and the only thing that mattered was making the best of the limited amount of time I have left on this planet.

L
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Old 12-22-2012, 08:24 AM
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Originally Posted by PohsFriend View Post
After a while you just hear the voice of that damned compute in Wargames: A strange game, the only way to win is not to play.
This ^^^ is exactly what I thought when it dawned on me that I was playing the game just as much as he was. And understanding this was the beginning of a healthy detachment for me.

Funny though - PohsFriend, I think our age is showing!
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