Sister of a functioning alcoholic
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Originally Posted by Ordinaryworld 
I am so sorry I used a term that not many people like. I used it because it's one I am familiar with and she is working, therefore functioning so I assumed it was the correct term. I'm new to this although my sister is not anywhere near new to her problem. Being that we live in different states, I guess it's taken me a longer time to get fed up.
Thanks for everyone's responses and I look forward to reading and learning a lot here.
Thanks for everyone's responses and I look forward to reading and learning a lot here.
I hope you fimd your answers and get peace and yes you will learn alot here. It helps
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
I am so sorry I used a term that not many people like. I used it because it's one I am familiar with and she is working, therefore functioning so I assumed it was the correct term.
Like others have said, there's usually a lot of dysfunction behind the curtain and the facade can only be maintained for so long. We tend to view alcoholism as a progressive disease -- some people even refer to "stages of alcoholism" -- so when we talk about "functioning" alcoholics, it usually means they haven't lost everything. Yet.
The other reason we push back on the term is because as friends and family members, we have a hard time seeing the truth about our loved ones, and minimize and downplay the effects of their drinking. A lot of us find that when we stop cutting them so much slack, the truth reveals itself and we are much better emotionally prepared to deal with the disease as it is.
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