I have watched a LOT of Intervention. The main thing to consider is that it's primary objective -- like any other television show, for better or for worse -- is to attract viewers and make money through it's advertisers. As much as I enjoy watching it (hm..."enjoy" is a weird word to use there), I think there are many different and better ways to gain an understanding of addiction.

But to your point, "sounds like a controlling attempt" -- I suppose that is a valid perspective, but I don't think it's an entirely fair one. In the best light, the interventionists are encouraging the family and friends of the addict to lay down boundaries and to enforce them in an effort to assist the addict in reaching their rock bottom. Take away their money, their haven, their source of emotional support -- in essence, give the problem back to the addict. I don't find this controlling. I think it is people taking care of themselves and allowing the addict the dignity of taking responsibility for their own lives.

What is more troubling to me, on the show specifically, is when the family and friends appear incapable of enforcing the boundaries and end up letting the addict off the hook for the consequences of their behavior. The show paints pretty stark portraits of the addicts but also of those who support the addict's lifestyle. I usually find those friends and family MORE controlling because what they are doing is helping the addict perpetuate the cycle of abuse and maintain the status quo. For whatever reason, they are more comfortable with the addict in that state.

Hm. Did I mention I watch a LOT of Intervention? Anyhoo. That's my take on it.

Hey hooped..

So now it is day 5.

How ya doin compared to day 3? Better? Worse?

Hang in there

Hey Poh,

Day 5 - luckily I am never at a loss for things to occupy my time (2 home based jobs and a lot of great online content to watch/read including supportive stuff like here).

I guess the good thing is I'm not thinking about this 24/7 and I am really enjoying what I'm doing during the day. I'm obsessed with information, though, so the thought will pop in my head and I'll just drop everything and come on the forum and try to educate myself more on what's the best thing to do with the circumstances (the best ways to feel or process feelings and thoughts, and arming myself with strategies for the right actions when the contact may or may not be made after the 7 days are over). The support of you guys is HUGE.

I certainly understand the way you feel. Lots of people drink to self medicate and it sounds like what he needs is a good psychotherapist. Unfortunately, feel sorry for him though you may, he needs to make these decisions for himself. My axbf drank his way through pretty much every problem he had and I was always trying to get him to seek help, go to anger management or do something positive to manage his feelings. That never happened, he drank a lot and would pick fights with me, become critical and verbally abuse and pick on me for not being perfect.

You can and will feel sorry for them, but if this is not the kind of relationship you want for yourself, you need to be willing to walk away. :((

Lol. Obsess? Thank goodness you joined the forum h00ped, I don't think we've seen anyone around here do that (cough)

Funny conversation between me and my therapist a while back:

I asked him if he saw any serious issues with me - I worry about that given my moms encyclopedia of personality disorders.

Him - I think you are completely exhausted between this, work and being in pain for a year. You are probably a bit OCD and a little depressed right now but otherwise you are doing fine.

Me: CDO

Him: huh?

Me: we'll if I'm going to be obsessive compulsive then I really ought to alphabetize it properly.

Him: laugh

Me: so I see the obsessing part (aside, how many readers are nodding and saying 'no ****!' ?). But actually I wish I had the compulsive deal - how cool would it be to have everything perfectly organized.

Him: laugh... Yeah but what I'd your compulsion was drinking?

Me: ****.

I get what you are saying, even I'd I can't cure/control/cause I still gotta understand it before I can accept it and get past it.

Hang in there, hope day 6 is easier.

Do you have a broken heart for YOU - for your loneliness, fear, anxiety? How do you know what he's feeling. Losing a relationship is never easy, especially with an alcoholic because they are master manipulators to have us focusing on their feelings, rather than our own.

I know for me, I got lost in my STBXAH and everything that he was going through. My feelings were barely acknowledged or addressed, it was all about him. He was a soul sucking vampire, he took and took from me and never gave anything back to the relationship.

It's a wonder I felt less lonely once we separated then when we were living in the same house. I look back now and think that even on our best days, I was still lonely.

I hope you continue to work through your thoughts and feelings about what you are going through.