Tragedy in Connecticut
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Caucasian;West Coast; Husband sometimes breathes fire; hence his nickname Dragon & mine Mrs. Dragon
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Tragedy in Connecticut
My heart goes out to those families affected by the unspeakable tragedy in Connecticut. A 20 year old did this. I cannot imagine the grief and the pain these parents, siblings, grandparents are feeling. As many of you know I lost a grandchild due to natural causes; that loss has put my son into a tailspin of alcohol and drug use, and as a grandparent my heart still aches. The tragedy these families face is so horrific and brutal. And also the school full of children and teachers that escaped this; they will now be traumatized and I cannot help but wonder what paths they will take in dealing with their emotions. This is going to have such far reaching effects on many families. I believe that in reading here on SR I have gained more awareness of the trickle-down effect of alcohol abuse, drug use, mental illness… And then I think of the mother of the shooter who was also murdered (by her son) and what she struggled with before this happened. It is all so heartbreaking. I would just like to use this forum to say a prayer and if possible a wish for comfort and peace to those families.
NAIOU
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Last house on the block.
Posts: 359
A prayer for all the people who lost there lives today.........As you are hurled into outer space may the angels help to lead the way. All the prayers that your families make shine upon your soul and keep you safe. All your friends that have passed away are there to greet you as you pass the gates and as you head into the tunnels light I hope it leads to eternal life. Amen
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Location: Real World
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It sure makes some of the issues we fret over seem trivial. I had to turn off the tv when they started talking about how the parents were directed to the firehouse to meet up with their kids. I could not handle the part that must have come next when they interviewed parents who went to that firehouse and did not have anyone there.
I still remember hearing this once and it chills me:
Wives who lose a husband are called widows
Husbands who lose wives are called widowers
Children who lose their parents are called orphans
...but no language has a word for a parent who loses a child because it is simply unthinkable.
Our problems are solvable.
I still remember hearing this once and it chills me:
Wives who lose a husband are called widows
Husbands who lose wives are called widowers
Children who lose their parents are called orphans
...but no language has a word for a parent who loses a child because it is simply unthinkable.
Our problems are solvable.
Getting there!!
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 5,750
My prayers are with everyone who has been so tragically effected by this horrific act.
Many years ago, when I was in junior high, I had a terrible night mare about a some men breaking into my school with guns and killing people. This was way before Columbine. I was so afraid, I refused to go to school for the next few days.
My nightmare has become a reality for so many innocent people. I can't even imagine the pain and trauma that all these families and those poor kids are going through. Heartbreaking!!
Many years ago, when I was in junior high, I had a terrible night mare about a some men breaking into my school with guns and killing people. This was way before Columbine. I was so afraid, I refused to go to school for the next few days.
My nightmare has become a reality for so many innocent people. I can't even imagine the pain and trauma that all these families and those poor kids are going through. Heartbreaking!!
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,927
My husband and I were looking at our little boy tonight all snuggled in his bed, and there was no way we could avoid thinking about what those parents are going through tonight. Most of the kids were first graders... they should be snuggled in their beds tonight.
MrsDragon, I know this must also bring back painful memories for you and your family. Losing your child under any circumstance is an unimaginable event, and nothing prepares you to recover from something like that. Faith, I think would be the only comfort. I am sending prayers out to your son tonight also.
MrsDragon, I know this must also bring back painful memories for you and your family. Losing your child under any circumstance is an unimaginable event, and nothing prepares you to recover from something like that. Faith, I think would be the only comfort. I am sending prayers out to your son tonight also.
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Join Date: Aug 2010
Posts: 2,349
I was actually sick to my stomach when I heard the news yesterday. I can't even wrap my head around how or why someone would take the lives of young children like that(not that it's right any other way,either, but little babies like that just made me so sad to hear). I have been praying for the families and the community in CT.
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Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
I saw the news Sat a.m. - I was sitting in the waiting room at a car dealership for my car inspection. There were only a few of us there - one man sat at table reading his bible, a well dressed couple sat on the couch staring at the tv and I was trying to complete some left over work from the week. Tears started falling -each of us in disbelief - I reached out to hold the hand of one person and the others coupled hands in a chain.
We all came from different religious backgrounds as we each offered a quite prayer for the families affected in Cn. We hugged offering comfort to one another and shared what we each plan to do later that day to remember the children and adults who died that day.
Then a question came up- "what do you tell children - and how do people move forward" and I thought, " we just prayed, we reached out and came close for a few minutes to comfort one another - what else do we have to do?" The question was more to myself and so I explained to them how to tell children and how to deal with the grief and shock -then how to begin moving forward. Admit the fear, sit with it for a minute and then let it go.
We all came from different religious backgrounds as we each offered a quite prayer for the families affected in Cn. We hugged offering comfort to one another and shared what we each plan to do later that day to remember the children and adults who died that day.
Then a question came up- "what do you tell children - and how do people move forward" and I thought, " we just prayed, we reached out and came close for a few minutes to comfort one another - what else do we have to do?" The question was more to myself and so I explained to them how to tell children and how to deal with the grief and shock -then how to begin moving forward. Admit the fear, sit with it for a minute and then let it go.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 462
my heart goes out to all those innocent and brave souls in that school. the news has hit the world and a time when those that were taken should be all smiles and laughter with xmas approaching. i know i shed a few tears when i heard, and it was a conversation my children and i had about this incident.
but i also pause also to think about what that shooter, not much older than a child himself, must have gone through to get to that point.
as LMN pointed out, the focus will be taken off the real issue of mental health which is what was the real cause of this awful event, and back to means he used to express his emotions....gun control. my thoughts are also on all those affected with mental health issues and i hope that our governments help support them to find a much healthier means of dealing with issues.
my thoughts are with all those that have been affected by this tragedy.
but i also pause also to think about what that shooter, not much older than a child himself, must have gone through to get to that point.
as LMN pointed out, the focus will be taken off the real issue of mental health which is what was the real cause of this awful event, and back to means he used to express his emotions....gun control. my thoughts are also on all those affected with mental health issues and i hope that our governments help support them to find a much healthier means of dealing with issues.
my thoughts are with all those that have been affected by this tragedy.
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
I absolutely agree. I am very dismayed that all day today, whenever the news would come on, it was some politician talking about gun control. I don't hear any politicians talking about mental illness, or how very difficult it is to get a mentally ill person help. How, unless they seek it themselves, the only other way is to involve the police; commit a crime. Yet, when horrific crimes like this happen, everyone talks about gun control, or looks for "signs" that could have prevented this. I am sure his mother saw signs of escalating mental issues.
I find it most interesting that we're hearing about gun control as a form of public safety yet not tougher laws on mentally ill people who are the bigger threat to public safety. Maybe its just easier to blame an inanimate object that to acknowledge there is evil and sickness among us. I know my gun has never killed people on its own, nor has it jumped out of its case, and then out of the drawer, to fire at someone.
Prayers to those families tonight.
*Stepping off my soapbox now*
I find it most interesting that we're hearing about gun control as a form of public safety yet not tougher laws on mentally ill people who are the bigger threat to public safety. Maybe its just easier to blame an inanimate object that to acknowledge there is evil and sickness among us. I know my gun has never killed people on its own, nor has it jumped out of its case, and then out of the drawer, to fire at someone.
Prayers to those families tonight.
*Stepping off my soapbox now*
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Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 3,796
Mental health. Well, at least people are now talking about it more. That's a start. But there is so much misinformation and it shows through people's ignorant comments. Apparently the shooter was thought to have autism. Great. My 6-year-old cousin has autism. He has recently started having seizures and nobody knows why. The LAST thing my aunt needs is for some idiot to ask her, "aren't you afraid he might turn on you and kill you someday?" People posting comments like, "people with autism are incapable of feeling empathy or emotions and that's why he shot all those kids" ugh you obviously have internet, let Google be your friend.
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Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 462
choublak didn't this kid have autism and a split personality disorder? and who knows what other issues were going on in this kids life.
people will be ignorant no matter what. lack of credible information and education is the cause of most fears. if the govts of the world educated its people about these topics then there would be less fear and hatred. or if people took responsibility to gain this information on their own that would be even better. the media have a lot to answer for, but at the end of the day, each individual has to take responsibility for their own ignorance and opinions.
people will be ignorant no matter what. lack of credible information and education is the cause of most fears. if the govts of the world educated its people about these topics then there would be less fear and hatred. or if people took responsibility to gain this information on their own that would be even better. the media have a lot to answer for, but at the end of the day, each individual has to take responsibility for their own ignorance and opinions.
box of chocolates
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Choublak.....I would ask them if they are worried about themselves because clearly they would have something wrong with them to ask such a disgusting thing.
And I agree that mental illness and substance abuse should be looked at more it seems in the world of health care those two things havent gotten as much attention as they should. Maybe im wrong but I think the knowledge and facilities should be more accessible to everyone.
I too cried when I saw the news and I still cry thinking about all these people and young young children who lost their lives and their loved ones whom must grieve during Christmas instead of watching their babies opening their gifts eating sweets and being together.
Whos to say he was truly autistic anyhow......doctors make wrong diagnosis all the time and perhapse there were other underlying problems.
Just a thought
And I agree that mental illness and substance abuse should be looked at more it seems in the world of health care those two things havent gotten as much attention as they should. Maybe im wrong but I think the knowledge and facilities should be more accessible to everyone.
I too cried when I saw the news and I still cry thinking about all these people and young young children who lost their lives and their loved ones whom must grieve during Christmas instead of watching their babies opening their gifts eating sweets and being together.
Whos to say he was truly autistic anyhow......doctors make wrong diagnosis all the time and perhapse there were other underlying problems.
Just a thought
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Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 1,295
I think we need to take a good look at isolated people. People without friends who don't fit into society well.
I heard the shooter was like that. Isolated. Unable to make friends. Unable to fit in. Jobless. His older brother hadn't spoken to him in two years. His mother was probably tired of his maladjustment. He was deep into killing video games, and isolated. They became his reality since he had nothing going on in his life. I don't think his light asperger's was the cause, although it may very well have contributed to his social awkwardness. Autistic people are less inclined to do this sort of thing, not more.
I keep thinking about how to stop this from happening, and I think about the isolation in many of these mass murderers. Not all fit this profile, but most do.
This murderer probably looked back at his unhappy life and decided it started in grade school, the very school where he killed. Most of us have few memories before age 5--which would help explain a fixation on this time period as the cause of his unhappiness. There is also a high probability that he was ridiculed or felt like an outcast starting in grade school, as we all face the stiff competition in school. I think when he murdered all those young children he was murdering the demons of his past, and blaming them that he never fit in.
We have to stop ignoring and start paying attention to people who are isolated. With only themselves to relate to, they are sure to go as mad as a person alone on an island.
People didn't relate t him and he knew it, so he took out his anger on the world. We can't force people to like others--but we can help people to become more likable and find a place in society. The first step is to get them into therapy and find activities for them to enjoy with others besides murderous video games. With no job, and no friends, he could have been playing those video games 15 hours a day.
It reminds me of a very good movie. Empire falls with Paul Newman. Richard Russo wrote the book, he's a fantastic author. There was a school shooting, and it was an isolated boy that never felt he fit in, so he took it out on the kids at his school. He was also ridiculed by bullies.
His mother must have had an idea that he was unstable. I think that even if she considered herself a responsible gun owner, she failed to be responsible when she had several guns in her house readily available to her unstable son. I'm sure she didn't see it coming, but the responsibility of gun ownership extends to anyone who might be able to get their hands on them.
I heard the shooter was like that. Isolated. Unable to make friends. Unable to fit in. Jobless. His older brother hadn't spoken to him in two years. His mother was probably tired of his maladjustment. He was deep into killing video games, and isolated. They became his reality since he had nothing going on in his life. I don't think his light asperger's was the cause, although it may very well have contributed to his social awkwardness. Autistic people are less inclined to do this sort of thing, not more.
I keep thinking about how to stop this from happening, and I think about the isolation in many of these mass murderers. Not all fit this profile, but most do.
This murderer probably looked back at his unhappy life and decided it started in grade school, the very school where he killed. Most of us have few memories before age 5--which would help explain a fixation on this time period as the cause of his unhappiness. There is also a high probability that he was ridiculed or felt like an outcast starting in grade school, as we all face the stiff competition in school. I think when he murdered all those young children he was murdering the demons of his past, and blaming them that he never fit in.
We have to stop ignoring and start paying attention to people who are isolated. With only themselves to relate to, they are sure to go as mad as a person alone on an island.
People didn't relate t him and he knew it, so he took out his anger on the world. We can't force people to like others--but we can help people to become more likable and find a place in society. The first step is to get them into therapy and find activities for them to enjoy with others besides murderous video games. With no job, and no friends, he could have been playing those video games 15 hours a day.
It reminds me of a very good movie. Empire falls with Paul Newman. Richard Russo wrote the book, he's a fantastic author. There was a school shooting, and it was an isolated boy that never felt he fit in, so he took it out on the kids at his school. He was also ridiculed by bullies.
His mother must have had an idea that he was unstable. I think that even if she considered herself a responsible gun owner, she failed to be responsible when she had several guns in her house readily available to her unstable son. I'm sure she didn't see it coming, but the responsibility of gun ownership extends to anyone who might be able to get their hands on them.
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Midwest, USA
Posts: 2,899
I've been wrecked about this all weekend.
I come from a gun friendly home, but I can't help but wonder why it's totally cool for the general public to own the kind of gun that he used to get into that school, where he blew a hole in steel doors large enough to walk through. I mean, come ON. I would be A-OK with the government finding a way to outlaw the kind of artillery and magazines that puts 3-11 bullets in elementary school children in the least amount of time possible. We have to be willing to take the tools of mass destruction away from the general public, or be willing to see this happen again and again and again.
I come from a gun friendly home, but I can't help but wonder why it's totally cool for the general public to own the kind of gun that he used to get into that school, where he blew a hole in steel doors large enough to walk through. I mean, come ON. I would be A-OK with the government finding a way to outlaw the kind of artillery and magazines that puts 3-11 bullets in elementary school children in the least amount of time possible. We have to be willing to take the tools of mass destruction away from the general public, or be willing to see this happen again and again and again.
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