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Been gone, need to be back

Old 12-13-2012, 08:31 AM
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Been gone, need to be back

I can't be here much lately. I am hardly ever on my computer. Life in general has been difficult. Dad died, ex (now referred to as MEV-monetary and emotional vampire) is still as toxic as ever. I don't know about his alcohol or drug use since I am not around him. His eyes are always bloodshot so I am assuming he has not dried out.

Problem for the last 1 1/2 years is he is trying to turn my kids against me. My younger can see right through him and knows what he hears from his dad does not jive with what he sees at home. Older son wants to be with his dad and says he does not know what to believe. MEV is using older son (just turned 12 yesterday) as his confidant of hatred toward me. Nice guy huh?

Anyway, I need someplace to go. No AlAnon near where I live. I need to be here to reset my boundaries.

Oh, also involved in a new relationship. More on that later. I think it will be ending soon. He is not a drinker but surprise, surprise, he is emotionally unavailable.

It is good to be back. Will be back tonight after the kids are in bed.
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Old 12-13-2012, 09:08 AM
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Hi HoopNinja. It is nice to 'see' you again but I am truely sorry about the struggles with the kids There is a special place in hell for parents like him. Are your boys in any counseling? It might really help.
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Old 12-13-2012, 10:40 AM
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Glad you're back. Not glad about the circumstances, but nice to 'see' you anyway.

One thing I've found is that I NEED to do things that nurture my soul. Often, I get busy, get overwhelmed by my to-do list and feel guilty indulging in ME stuff. It never turns out well when that happens. Have you been hooping lately? If not, I give you permission to indulge yourself.

L
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Old 12-13-2012, 11:34 AM
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I have been hooping up a storm the last couple of months. I actually took furniture out of the living room. I have been hooping blind (meditation) to Kelly Clarkson lately-her most recent stuff where she has had enough. It can get pretty physical but I feel better and less of a victim when I am done and my brain has been transformed to know it is true.

LTD I do need to indulge a little more. I did do one bigger thing for me. I took a 3 day seminar with my hooping guru this summer. When we sat around in the hoop circle and everyone said why they were there I just said because this is for me, not anyone else. I learned a lot about life, myself and hooping. I learned how to warrior hoop (fun) and fold (hard). It was worth it. Took my hooping to a higher lever physically and mentally. I spent 3 days hearing OPEN, OPEN, OPEN.

The other day he (guru) posted something I really liked-since he hoops for meditation also. Breath in-Love. Breath out-ego. For me it would be Breath in-Love. Breath out-anger (day 1) sorrow (day 2) no boundaries (day 3) helplessness (day 4) worry (day 5) shame (day 6) uncertainty about reality (day 7). I think the following week(s) would be Breath in-Love. Breath out-co-dependency. . .and then just mix it all up again.

OK, lunch over, back to work.
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Old 12-13-2012, 12:39 PM
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Such mixed feelings to see you again... I hate that you have to come back but I am glad to see you.
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