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XXXXXXXXXX 12-10-2012 05:29 PM

Court tomorrow and Wednesday
Need prayers, thoughts, chicken sacrifices or whatever you do.

My restraining order was set to expire dec. 1.

I went to the courthouse the week before and filed for an extension. I was granted an extension through Wednesday, and a court date on Wednesday. He was served notice, so he can attend.

On Tuesday, he has the court date for criminal charges: 24 counts of violating the protective order. The victim advocate will go to that one and present my evidence. I don't have to be there.

So nervous I can't concentrate on anything right now.

The advocate predicted that he will be given a chance to plead guilty to one count, and they will drop the others.

If he is found not guilty on tues, it will be harder to get the extension tues.

They have copies of my texts and a audio disk of his calls

ShootingStar1 12-10-2012 05:33 PM

Prayers coming your way.

Not so sure about the chicken sacrifices, though.... Can I make soup stock from the leftovers?

Keep the faith,


Seren 12-10-2012 05:45 PM

Absolutely prayers heading out for a good outcome and for you to be able to get some rest tonight!

Impurrfect 12-10-2012 05:57 PM

Add my prayers:)

Hugs and prayers,


BoxinRotz 12-10-2012 06:06 PM

Prayers to you!

Tuffgirl 12-10-2012 06:34 PM

Prayers and crossed fingers, 10X. Keep us posted.

PohsFriend 12-10-2012 06:57 PM

Restraining orders are almost always granted if they are mutual. If you violate them though the police can't enforce them, you gotta go see the judge.

Protective order has teeth, any peace officer can arrest on a violation of a protective order.

Don't engage with him, don't even look his way and just let your lawyer do their job.

If you testify, speak slowly and only answer what you are asked. Watch what you say - no insults and nothing dramatic. Understand the game - lawyers try to make men look dangerous and make women look flaky and hysterical. Go Vulcan on his ass and keep your head.

Live long and prosper ;-)

XXXXXXXXXX 12-11-2012 04:24 PM

Thanks. I did not have to attend in person today.
The victim advocate attended for me. The prosecuting attorney as well as ex's attorney conference called me beforehand. He was not on the room

While ex was charged with 24 counts of violating the order, they let him plead guilty to one.

He was sentenced to 10 days in regional jail and a year of probation, ordered to have no contact with me.

The dvp extension is tomorrow. The advocate told me I should get it renewed anyway, as it has more teeth than the judges order and deputies can enforce it easier.

Good news. I get to attend by phone, and the advocate gets to attend in person for me. They also told me that his attorney advised him today that it was not in his best interest to attend to contest tomorrow. Likely he won't be there.

So hurray! And thank God for dv advocates. These ladies really know there stuff.
I don't know if every state has them, I was told they were grant-funded and not everywhere.

So he goes for his 10 days on jan 2.

I am still wishing for peaceful holidays.

ShootingStar1 12-11-2012 04:48 PM

One down, one to go! Good for you - it's hard to be tough, but you are doing great. We're all here for you and with you. Let us know how it goes -


jessiec 12-11-2012 04:54 PM

So glad for your safety and peace! Praying for continued calm!

PohsFriend 12-11-2012 05:12 PM

That's big. Alcoholism is not the only thing that is progressive, if ten days in jail doesn't get the point across then judges figure lets see how 30 days suits ya.

One guilty plea or 100, assuming you keep your head and do nothing outrageous you can stick a fork in him at this point. He's done.

Be smart and don't engage right now. Let him go to vm if he calls, do not reply if he writes.
I hope some day he gets well and is remorseful and is capable of following the rules and being a positive influence as a dad but I'd not then I am sad for his loss - really - as much as I despise the guys who made custody battles hard for me by acting like he is.

Hope it doesn't sound condescending but I'm proud of you for standing up for yourself, it's evident in your posts that doing so took a lot of courage.

If he bothers you just be sure to have evidence and immediately dial 911 even if it is a minor violation of the protective order. I'm not for spiking the ball but from what you describe he's the type to look for air holes and see what he can get by with. The only way to play that game is zero response to him and immediately reporting it so that he gets it - put a toe over the line only if you wish to lose a toe.

Get some rest :-)

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