thislonelygirl

Today was good. All day at my mother inlaws with ah family son daughter etc.
Wonderful day. No alcohol day and we all spent family time. Had a good day.
Had an amazing day. Opened up . Laughed just enjoyed it.
Heres the thing. ...I made a decision to allow my son to start the school year at my mother inlaws so he could be focused on school and because of the difficulties over the past few months. Mother in law has been supportive. Attentative. And there. Yes we have butt heads before but she really loves her family and tries to help best she can.
My thoughts were ah's drinking problem started going in a downward spiral and as I want to hold my family together I have left going from one place to the next and though im rooting for my ah I dont want my son bouncing around during the school yr etc.
Plus I need to focus on my recovery. ..I am a mess myself but thats whatever.
The point is mother in law is my family. Shes my ah's family....she has always been and has helped us.
Well my family has been nagging for me to pluck my son out middle of the school year to live back home with me and I mean nagged. I have been cornered and attacked.
Today was another day of that .
If I was injured or physically ill ....would they understand? Or is my emotionsl problems less severe? If they grasped alcoholism and walked in my shoes would they get it even more?
I love my son. Anytime I get the chance I see him. He harbors no problems being at mother inlaws and knows its only temporary . Our relationship hasnt changed and we use to live at mother inlaws before so its like second home to him..normal.
I just didnt want him to go from one place to another through the school yr. For him to be subjected to our problems. Im repeatimg myself anyhow I feel as though the issues with my family because of this is jealousy . I say family I mean two people in my family. One my mother. My father said he agreed with my decision and ive been told from others I am sacraficing for love of my son and others just butt out completely or dont see any problem as they know my mother in law.
And truly this will only last this school yr enough time to get my ducks in a row...I just dont want to pull him out mid way without the ducks.


Thanks for listening to my craziness

Confetti

You know your situation better than anyone else.

If your MIL is the most stable influence your son has right now, then that is the best place for him to be. I'm sure that was a difficult decision, to not have him with you, but children need stability and a loving environment....especially when an A is in the picture.

. Sending you positive thoughts.

thislonelygirl

Thanks confetti. Im a soft person a little tough but soft. One of those people who doesnt want to upset offend or hurt anyone. Right now with the chaos my life has been in despite my ahs new found enlightenment ie realizing its a problem I want to protect my son from hurt from being unsure if well pack our bags and stay somewhere else (as I have already done that) and from being worried about anything other than school. Like he should.
I have been scorned many ways to sunday about my failures....about me as a parent.
Harsh words. I dont know why I allow it to bother me truthfully I think what bothered me most yesterday was being on the phone with my mother having a pleasant conversation turned upside with yelling and I hung up ( not something I wanted to do)
My mother has but supportive helpful kimd etc but i dont think she truly understands what i tell her involving this.